19 Year old son Drug addict

[alice1971]

Hello.

It is with utter disbelief that I begin to write this message, and I stress that I am in utter shock at what has just happened.

A couple of weeks ago, I was cleaning out my 19 year old son's room when I began to find small little baggies (of which I assumed were cannabis) and thought nothing of it - we had a grown up talk and he promised he would knock it on the head. However, I have just walked into his room to clean it and under his bed was a packet of needles and what I suspect to be either Heroin or Ketamine in baggies. I have no idea what to do, I just confronted him in the living room and he straight up admitted that it was intact Heroin. He says he has been taking it for 2 months and is the reason he was sacked from his job, and failed his As level exams. He has also told me he owes a drug dealer 400 pounds...
Please any advice would mean the world. I am sorry to spread my pain.

Alice

I don't have experience of this but what about buying some of those home drug testing kits from somewhere like Amazon and telling him he can move back home when he has tested clean for XXXX consecutive tests and on the understanding that he continues to be tested once a XXX for XXX years

Fill in the XXXX's as you see fit.

Tell him that you or your DH will be doing the tests and that he has to pee in a bottle in front of you. Remember that you cannot trust him.

I'd write this down and give it to him in writing.

My brother would have pee tests infront of people & could STILL fool them. Small water pipe in his pants FFS!

Addicts will go to extents that you never knew existed

My heart goes out to all of you who have suffered

to you and your family Pete and op.

I have worked with substance users and from my experience many a loving family have in fact become 'enablers' to a person's drug/alcohol use. There does need to be a degree of 'tough love' and thinking straight but I don't believe in kicking children out unless there is dire need - you're son needs an incentive to stop not an excuse (abandonment/loneliness etc) to take more.

He was honest with you - that's good. Presumably his behaviour has not given you cause for concern as this came as a shock.

2 months is a relatively short time. Talk to him, understand more about the debts and reason for losing his job (believe it or not many drug addicts and alcoholics hold responsible jobs) relationships? New friends? Heroin is often used to block out traumatic events - what is his motivation to need drugs?

It's not that easy to say rehab is the answer (unless you have a lot of money and he is willing )

Also be mindful of how emotive December is with Xmas approaching, there is a lot of pressure on family time and relationships as well as looking towards a new year which he might feel is bleak.

Find out more, it's great both of you were so upfront. Heroin is a dreadful drug as posters have warned but this is early days there is time, he hadn't necessarily used every day for the last two months and a physical dependence does take time (obviously the emotional need is equally hard to tackle..) good luck

How are you coping OP?