Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

so worried about DD :(

3 replies

katiekatie44 · 14/11/2015 15:54

DD 14 has been very difficult over the last few years (since puberty!). She was bullied initially at secondary school(year 7), being teased and isolated. She was so sensitive but seems to have become a bit to tough in many ways. She has turned a bit queen bee and has fairly unhealthy relationships all round.
The current most worrying is her relationship with her boyfriend of 3 months. He seems extremely paranoid and possessive and keeps starting arguments with her about who she has kissed before him, amongst other things. She gets completely irate when he is involved and will scream and cry for hours and hours. Keeps calling him to say she didn't whilst crying hysterically etc. Then all of a sudden he apologises and harmony is restored. She will not listen to me where he is involved at all and says he "only does it because he cares" which frightens me! Her moods are very much based on how he is and she gets wild beyond belief if I try and talk to her about it.

Her friendships are extremely volatile. She never seems to have a "best friend" for long they have an intense honeymoon period then DD can be very bossy, jealous and I hate to say it but spiteful. Then there's a dramatic fallout involving most of the year. Again DD will take no advice and gets cross at the mere mention but seems to almost thrive on the drama and its getting to a stage I feel she's being quite nasty and doing what was done to her.

Her temper is very quick and very volatile. She has a diagnosis of ADHD and ASD and additionally has learning difficulties. She has seen CAMHS for about three years but apart from a fortnightly meeting in which she generally doesn't talk at all there is no intervention. She refused anger management and CBT so they wouldn't proceed. Despite this big front of being "hard" she is hugely anxious and is covered in scabs from continuous picking at her skin her clothes also barely last a day as she picks at them to. My relationship with her is generally good but has suffered recently, her mood regarding her boyfriend is taken out on me and she is unresponsive to any communication but sits tapping away at her phone all the time!

Sorry for mass essay but any advice or experiences?!

OP posts:
katiekatie44 · 15/11/2015 16:41

Anyone?!

OP posts:
AppleAndBlackberry · 15/11/2015 16:57

If she didn't have learning difficulties I'd suggest a frank discussion about abusive relationships and what is and isn't OK. Do you think she would understand that well enough? Depending on the extent of her understanding I would be thinking about taking more drastic steps to protect her, e.g. blocking him from her phone, driving her to and from school etc. It's hard but I think I'd be trying to put a stop to this relationship. It just seems very young to let a child with a disability make their own decisions about being in that kind of relationship. Hope I've used the correct terminology there.

katiekatie44 · 15/11/2015 17:46

I have had many frank conversations with her she is just blinkered by the good times! She is very mobile savvy and would only unblock.

When I ban she finds a sneaky way of seeing him, so I've kind of gone the other way and he comes to our house and I supervise. I had a "word" with him which didn't go down well with her at all.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread