Looking for some advice.
I have been finding chewing gum wrappers, empty fizzy drink bottles, some sweet wrappers on my 13 year old daughter. When I question how she got it she has been telling me this friend or that friend gave her it.
For the past few weeks we have been finding her lunches from the week in her bedroom mostly uneaten apart from the goodies. So full sandwiches etc still there.
When asked about this she has said she has went all day in school with no food. I have told her I don't believe her as she can't go more than 2 hours without food when not at school. She has told Dh that they all share their lunches. I haven't really believed that either.
This morning Dh was handing Dd her phone (from the charger) so saw a text from her friend. It said, "remember the £5 you asked me for last week, could I get it back today please?". Dd started lying again saying it was for a home econics project they were doing in school.
Dh gave her the £5 and told her to give it back to her friend. Obviously we told her not to borrow money off friends as she will get a name for herself.
On Saturday she met a friend in the local shopping centre. (She hasn't met a friend outside of school for 2 years so we were delighted). We gave her £10 to go ice skating and get herself a drink and crisps etc.). I text her a few times when out and she said she was going to mcdonalds. She had a new top on last night and said she got it when out with her friend and the top wa £3. There is no way £10 covered her top, ice skating and mcdonalds.
Up until last week Dh was giving her £5 every Saturday when he dropped her at the local sports centre as she does a trampolining class there. She was spending it in the cafe of the sports centre. For a few months last year I was giving her £5 pocket money on a Monday and she spent it all in the school on junk sweets etc.
My problem with her is the lying. When asked how she was getting food when not eating her packed lunch she was lying. Then lying again when caught out with borrowing money off friend, lying again about how she managed to get £10 to cover her shopping centre trip. Also the fact that she never text to ask if she could buy a top with theit's £10. She was told the £10 was for ice skating and an ice cream or juice. In fairness I think the friend came with money to spend on clothes.Though I think Dd might have known the friend would be clothes shopping and never told us.
Anyhow, I am looking for advice. Do I just let the lying to me go. Do I sit her down and ask her what she would spend pocket money on? Is it entirely up to her what she spends it on? i was hoping to give her pocket money so as she could learn a little bit about the value of money. Another reason I am against her spending on sweets etc. is that she is now in the overweight category. She gets sweets from us too.