To be concerned my DS 13 doesn't want a social life?

[mumtoone84]

My DS, who is 13 very rarely goes out with friends and spends most of his time on his countless computers.

His hobbies are gaming and the occasional baking.

My friends either have girls, who appear to have an amazing social life however have reassured me that he is just a typical teenage boy.

He's very shy, however I think, from what I hear, quite popular at school.

I worry asking if there is anything wrong, and he tells me theres nothing and to stop worrying.

I know he's been asked to go to the cinema or to town but always seems to put it off...

Not sure what to do. When I was his age, I only came back home for tea and bed :)

Google the introverted child.

Not so much "typical boy", as typical introvert.

I was/am exactly the same. And I'm a girl. My mum also thought I was odd, should put more effort in, if I tried harder I'd have more friends. In fact she just made me feel "wrong" that I didn't have a wide social circle, and really didn't want one.

Leave him be. Do some reading on introverts. Honestly, we are happier left to ourselves, and will socialise when we want to. All the people at school was enough for me, and might well be for your son too.

My ds was like that but in the past few months it has all changed. I don't know it is was doing his GCSEs, doing NCS, starting at college or just growing up.

I wouldn't worry at this stage, I don't think it is unusual.

Thanks Micah. Your right, the last thing I want is for him to think it's wrong and strange. I suppose we are all different. His dad was incredibly shy at School but still went out and had friends to skate/play football with, so I think he just takes after him.

He's an incredibly charming, funny boy with us, he loves telling jokes and dancing silly. I think he could just be at a really funny age too.

It's also very different times now, and I didn't have the internet/youtube or social media when I was younger so had to make the effort of going round to friends to chat etc.

Thanks OddBoots

Sounds like you're describing my oldest. He is now 14 and over the last year he has started going out and seeing friends a lot more. Although he is still happiest at home on his computers etc, but will go out with his friends when he feels like it.
Does your son seem happy? If he is, leave him to it. If not, maybe arrange a sleepover or pay for him to get a pizza with friends?

I think he seems happy? I've said to him why don't you see if your friends will come up etc but he always tells me "they won't be interested" "they don't leave the house", he passes the blame to them and it could very well be the case.

Hmmmm tbh boys in their early teens are the laziest bunch of apes known to man. Anything that requires any effort isn't bothered with in my sons case. Does he play x-box with his friends? I know my son spends a lot of time talking with his school friends via Xbox...

DD1 was exactly like this, shes 17 now and is happy to go out, she just wasnt ready before. She wasnt unhappy, she was perfectly fine staying in.
DD2,14, is never in.

Yeah he does chat with his friends on the xbox as well as through instagram, facebook and every other social media platform known to man lol

I was the same when I was a teen. I once overheard my mum and dad talking about whether I was "normal" because I didnt want a social life at 15. I was gutted. I wasnt interested but changed as I got older although Im still very introverted. I'd just encourage him gently, but dont worry about him

Mine too. Almost 14 now and I am cautiously optimistic. At the weekend he asked us to take him to drop-in basketball on Sunday night. we were practically fighting over who should drop him off. 'Me!' 'No, I wanna do it!' 'No, me!'

God love him.

To be fair, both girls are a leetle bit like this too. They take after their parents...

He sounds very like my son, now 16yrs. Please let him be whoever he is, if he's an introvert he's an introvert. That said, you do have to encourage speaking up where necessary e.g. DS didn't want to stand up and speak infront of class on his college course so I had to have a chat with him and give him encouragement.

Try not to worry too much, it's totally unproductive and one way ticket to stress, I( I speak from experience) plus you don't want to pass on to him that you think there is a problem. He sounds lovely to me!