DD wants to get a train on her own

[twiglet59]

Am I mad. DD has asked me if she can go and meet a friend she hasn't met before through snap chat. I said that it would be ok if I spoke to her parents first. It is also quite a journey to get a train up to London and then a coach from their. In all about 4 hours. I was going to take her upto London and then said she could get a coach the rest of the way. She is only 14 and has not travelled on her own before. I worried about her at the moment too. She is struggling with friendships at school. She had a very close friend and they have recently started to drift and dd is trying to break into other friendship groups.

No no no. You are nuts...

Look up Breck Bednar. I have a very independent 14 year old. I would not allow this.

Please explain to her that she is not the problem and you trust her. You just don't trust people you don't know.

Also just to add even if you speak to parents you don't actually know if they are the parents.

Gaston.. You must be a neighbour of mine. I think the tragedy of Breck brought this home to many of us. His mother is an amazing woman... Full respect to her.

Agree that the train bit is not a problem--mine have been travelling independently since they were about 13 on planes and trains and children should be encouraged to do this, I believe.

Meeting someone she has never met before is the issue.

No I wouldn't go for this.
I would suggest they meet at the London terminus for lunch and a wander round the shops. And I would be at the terminus, meet the friend, then sit and read my book in a coffee shop.
If it's Victoria or Kings Cross, there is plenty to keep a couple of teenagers busy for a few hours.

I don't consider myself an overprotective parent. Dd is 14 and travels 16 miles a day on public transport, and travels by train alone at weekends to meet friends.

I should have continued to say that the Internet friend and the unverified 'parents' are my cut-off point.

JaWellNoFine. I live very close to Caterham- not in Caterham but a surrounding village. I guess you do too then.

The train bit is fine

Meeting people online IS safe but I'd suggest going with her for the first time. I don't know why people think meeting online is different to meeting in any other setting, you could meet someone for the first time and not know they're a criminal or unpleasant

No way to meet un unknown friend! Haven't you taught her about Internet safety?

Bloody hell. DD is (a feisty fierce) 14yo & the only one of her friends allowed to go up to the Little Bad City by herself (county seat 17 miles away, she knows the routes & routines very well). I have no worries about that, but 4 hours each way to the Big Smoke to wander around with someone she has only met online? Not a Chance.

I would totally offer to go with her & having eye-balled the new friend (if they seemed alight) offered to buy them some cafe lunch & let them spend an 1-2 hours together without me watching.

No way meeting someone off the internet at 14 without you there especially.

Go on a train alone? Absolutely

go to meet someone new alone and far from home? No way

I did this myself as a teen and everything went great and I met up with the same couple of girls repeatedly for several years. It isn't automatically going to be a disaster.

But teens think it will never happen to them, even if they know it's dangerous. Bad stuff happens to other people, not them.