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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Teenage mental Health...

23 replies

smileyforest · 26/10/2015 13:51

Hello.
Just looking for support really. Never ever did I naively think that I would see self harm on a child of mine. Been feeling distraught, have a mental health assessment tomorrow, dreading it as have to face my ex abusive H as well. My son took himself off there to stay so contact has not been good either. He did stay over last night and it was a bad night, DS did not sleep all night, up and downstairs, just stopped weed as well, Don't know where to turn. Closed himself off to the family. Removes sim from pH. Wouldn't wish this on anyone. Currently off work with Sciatica and no way could I do my job with this situation at present. Anyone else in same boat? Grieving for my son x

OP posts:

elephantoverthehill · 26/10/2015 13:57

I do sympathise with you. I was in your shoes 2 years ago. I was at a complete loss. Unlike some peoples experiences we found Cahms and his school very supportive. it can get better. DS has retaken A levels and started Uni. The best advice I got was just to keep being his Mum.

Alvah · 26/10/2015 22:46

Just want to send you my support and say that I feel for you. I hope you find support for yourself and your son. You are not alone

Original poster

smileyforest · 26/10/2015 23:05

Thank you both. Maybe I should have posted this in mental health?

OP posts:

elephantoverthehill · 26/10/2015 23:17

It doesn't matter really where you posted it. My son was smoking weed and taking illegal highs. He realised it wasn't doing him any good. 2 trips to A and E. It was not pretty but we coped and I think we are through it. Just keep being a Mum.

TuTru · 26/10/2015 23:34

Good luck, just hang on in there xx

Original poster

smileyforest · 27/10/2015 06:11

Thank you everyone....your thoughts are so appreciated x

OP posts:

elephantoverthehill · 27/10/2015 18:06

How did the assessment go Smileyforest?

Original poster

smileyforest · 27/10/2015 20:09

My DS didn't turn up..his Dad could not get him out of bed. I filled the Nurse in with everything and it was agreed an assessment was needed asap.....A home visit was arranged and assessment done. Initially my son didn't engage but gradually opened up. Initial diagnosis is drug induced psychosis, and depression. Long road ahead , another appt Thurs with Consultant. I feel relieved he is getting help...I'm sad that teenagers don't listen to the dangers of drugs. My son is lost right now....I hope we get him back

OP posts:

elephantoverthehill · 27/10/2015 20:37

I am so pleased he is beginning to engage. It will be a long road but it sounds as if you and your ex are beginning to almost work together. Ex may be horrible but your son is so much more important than your issues. I learnt that lesson the hard way. Keep going, you know you are a strong Mum.

Alvah · 27/10/2015 21:11

I'm glad you are getting support for your son and yourself.
My DS smokes weed and drinks with friends, but not other drugs (yet), hopefully never.
Mine struggles with anger issues, school refusal, possible depression and probably traumatised from early childhood when we were living with ex partner (abusive).
He is refusing being referred to CAMHS, but maybe made to, as he is facing charges of possession of cannabis and for vandalism (aggressive when drunk). He is only 14.

We have a long way to go from here. So I walk with you, and every other parent struggling to help our sons/daughters through tough times

Original poster

smileyforest · 27/10/2015 21:15

Yes, thanks elephant, true what you say- Focus is on my son and him getting better, Glad you came through it with your son, gives me hope x

OP posts:

elephantoverthehill · 27/10/2015 21:29

Alvah I love your 'So I walk with you'. What a lovely sentiment. And so supportive of the OP.

Original poster

smileyforest · 27/10/2015 21:48

Thank you so much xxx

OP posts:

MissMarpleCat · 27/10/2015 21:59

To all of you struggling with the demon of drug abuse
This was my dc at 17, they decided to stop at 19 and have been clean 5 years. They are a lovely hard working, law abiding citizen and very sorry for all the shit they put me through.
I just wanted to share that with you to give you some hope

FFSYourself · 27/10/2015 22:20

What a sad situation. Weed can have such a devastating effect on teens and young adults. Maybe it's better that this has happened while he is still a 'child' and you and your ex still have some influence (even if it doesn't feel like it)

I hope your DS gets through this sooner rather than later.

Look after yourself.

Original poster

smileyforest · 27/10/2015 22:29

Coming on here , sharing and the support given really eases the pain. Thank you all so much

OP posts:

elephantoverthehill · 27/10/2015 23:06

You are welcome. Do keep asking if things get tough. We might not give the right answers but we try.

Alvah · 29/10/2015 20:30

Thanks, elephant.

Being through hard times makes for a humble parent.

It's nice to know we are in it together

elephantoverthehill · 29/10/2015 20:49

Well put Alvah. You have a way with words. We are, indeed in it together. I wish I had been on MN when the shit really hit the fan.

Claybury · 01/11/2015 19:59

Hello OP How are things?
I have a DS 17 who has smoked weed for about 3 years - I know how hard it is. He says he has also tried many other drugs ( MDMA, ketamine... ) and his attitude to drug use frightens us. He is a withdrawn character within our family although he is often out partying with his peer group - but we don't feel we understand him at all. He has recently started talking about having a 'spiritual awakening' and is writing down his dreams and meditating a lot. It is hard to know if he is 'unwell ' or just different.
These drug using teens are such a worry to us all- I don't mean to hijack your thread but I can tell from posters on here are non judgemental - in RL we can't always talk about these things.

elephantoverthehill · 01/11/2015 21:27

Hi Claybury, welcome on board the rollercoaster that seems to be the delayed teenage boy kicking against society. It is good though that your DS had spoken to you about what he has taken. Mine, according to my family who live near where he is at Uni, has decided to become veggie, but still had gravy. I think quite a bit of the mentality is to shock. I know I did. You are obviously very caring so things stand a chance to turn around.

Original poster

smileyforest · 01/11/2015 23:16

My son came to family dinner today. He did ' look' better but I can't see inside his head at the damage drugs have done. Don't know if he will make a full recovery, Saddens me, he had some good friends, was doing well at Sch, then got caught up in this....His life is on hold at present, can't attend college, his short term memory is poor...I truly do not understand it...I get emotional, so its best he stays at his Dads at present.... I'm off work with the stress of it and a back problem, I hope to take him out for walks to help recovery and encourage him to talk.....Really has had an impact on my well-being, never did I think my children would take drugs,.....buts its happened and at present , my son is lost....

OP posts:

elephantoverthehill · 02/11/2015 20:21

Smileyforest
My son came to family dinner today. He did ' look' better. 2 positives then. Small steps, but in the right direction.

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