Teenager faking my signature

[Juliehermann]

My ds (17) has faked my signature to get out of pe at school (twice). It is the sort of thing a lot of us probably did as kids but should I just have the "this is not ok" conversation or take some sort of action as a consequence. One half of me says let it go, it is fairly normal behaviour, the other half says there needs to be some consequence for fraudulent behaviour. Just as background information: ds has been difficult of late - verbally abusive, ignoring basic manners, non-cooperation.

DD forges my signature on her planner.. with my permission.

tbh, OP, I'd tell him it was small beer & I can't be arsed to make a fuss, but if he ever forged my signature for something important a tonne of bricks would fall on his head.

I would be horrified if either DS forged my signature for anything.

No compulsory PE for DS1 in Year 12. But he's chosen a sport related Elective subject.

Dd forged my signature in her planner a few times as well to get out of PE which she hated. I didn't make too much of a fuss about it.

Teenagers often fail to understand that rights and duties are connected. You have rights to excuse them from PE, and they want to step into your shoes to exercise these rights, therefore you're quite happy to let them have your duties too. Cleaning the loo, doing the washing and preparing food - you're more than happy that they do this. Give it to them with enthusiasm! The tasks that they cant do, like driving to the supermarket - take them along with you so that they can see what they have to do. Make them see how difficult it is to shop on a budget, but lay the enthusiasm on with a trowel that they now want to take on all your responsibilities. They want to do homework - they don't have time for that, because they so wanted to take your place! Become so happy that they made the effort to forge your signature, as it clearly demonstrates that they want to take on everything else too. And keep telling them that you're so glad they did what they did.

It is your duty to "excuse them from PE", or to help them give the impression that you have done that, not merely your right.

Teaching them to lie to get out of things they don't like? Great example.

I used to do this all the time when I was a teen, so I'd feel like the biggest hypocrite on the world if I was in your shoes and kicked off over it.

I'm not sorry I did it either - PE sucked. I developed a nice little system whereby I would skive the first lesson of each half term, which is when we signed up for our chosen activity and then for the remaindwr of the half term, each teacher wpuld assume I was in somebody else's group!

Anyway, I say pick your battles. If he was missing double Maths it would be worth getting cross over. Next year he will be legally adult - at 17 he's old enough to decide ehether he fancies playing badminton.

Also I quite often lie to get out of things I don't want to do. I suspect most people do - it's less blunt than simply saying 'I don't want to'.

It is your duty to "excuse them from PE"

I can only assume that you are a teen, not a parent.

Of course it isn't your "duty" to lie to get them out of PE. How stupid.

DS forged my signature at the age of 12 when he was given a disciplinary comment addressed to his parents. So double problem there.

He was given a three month lockdown of straight home from school, no pocket money, no TV, computer or videogames. He was also told in no uncertain terms that if he had done such a thing as an adult it would be considered a crime.

It was the right age to give him such a punishment and he learned a few ways of entertaining himself without technology. His marks improved because he wasn't rushing through his homework to do something else and most importantly he realised that his parents were not going to take underhand behaviour.

There have been minor episodes since then and he gets warnings if his marks start to fall, but I truly believe we did the right thing (it didn't stop us questioning ourselves at times during the lockdown period, though!).

Now he's 17 and closer to adulthood than childhood such a punishment would be going too far. A strong talk and a noticeable lack of trust in your daily dealings (checking the school's database to verify test results he "tells" you is a good one) are more suitable I think.

I assure you if he forged your signature at the age of 42 when he was given a disciplinary comment addressed to his parents, it would not be a crime.

Zinkies I'm not sure I've understood your post.

Forgery is a crime.
We were explaining to a 12 year old.

I used to do it all the time. Everything from homework diary to child benefit book (to save my mum going). Quite honestly I wouldn't be delighted if my child did it, but I'd happily write them a note to excuse them from the horrors of PE. (Tracksuits were not allowed at my school. It was fucking freezing and the gym teachers were fucking sadists.)

...so, is PE exactly the same as it was when we were all at school?
Children I see wear jogging bottoms etc, do dance and fitness stuff as well as conventional team sports - it is a million miles away from the PE pants and hockey that my own experience was made up of.

I thInk it generally still involves changing and showering in front of other teenagers, so yes, still grim. Even if they do let you wear a tracksuit in three feet of snow.

Ours never shower. I don't think there's time. So, what else?

I dislike sport, and I'm really, really awful at it (all of it) as I have poor coordination. I doubt that's changed for kids in the same position. Especially as I doubt they get to play non team sports all of the time.

Update on the signature saga - when asked about it, he admitted it without even trying to worm his way out of it and apologised - on his knees! Apology was accepted with dire warnings of what would happen if he did it again - I woukd turn up at school to speak to his pe teacher, which would be hideously embarrassing for him.
Nice to resolve it without any "you are so unfair and I hate you" outbursts.