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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Help, Advice on wayward teen DD

1 reply

Foxeym · 06/10/2015 14:39

Has anyone been through this or can offer some advice. I have 2 DDs 17 and 13 and DS 2, some background, my DS has a different DF to the girls and we are together. My eldest DD is an easy child, good at school, home etc can be a normal hormonal teen but generally no bother, the problems are with my 13 year old DD, she has been getting into trouble at school, fighting, truancy, not doing homework, back chatting teachers. She goes out with her friends and has been smoking and coming in having drunk alcohol, she is now grounded indefinitely.
She has been in counselling at school and we have been referred for parent/child counselling now as well which she is adamant she doesn't want to do.
I know in my heart it's because she misses her dad, he buggered off with someone else and has since emigrated and moved on, it breaks my heart for her and I tried to make up for it my being to lenient with her which has backfired and now I'm coming down hard on her she is playing up even more. How on earth do you make up for someone else's lack of parenting?
I work full time and when I'm at home I try and spend equal time with the DCs but I feel she is dragging all my attention which makes me feel guilty for the other 2 DCs but then I feel she needs it more. Her older sister is really worried about her and keeps trying to talk to her but gets nowhere, same as me. She's adamant she wants to change school for a new start but I don't think this is the answer, or is it?
Thank you if you have got this far, I just feel at the end of my tether, I don't know what to do for the best with her now as nothing is right, I just love her to bits and want to stop her before she goes too far, if anyone has any advice or experience please

OP posts:
cleo14 · 06/10/2015 20:24

I feel your pain op, the last year has been an uphill struggle with ds 15 and like you I have an older dd who was never any bother. It's really really hard and I don't think there's any miracle answer unfortunately. Any advice I've been given is about being clear about boundaries and carrying out consequences. This is easier said than done, it's a juggling act whilst trying to keep your relationship in tact. I too was a bit of a difficult teenager but came out of it eventually....Thanks

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