Sextiing

[queencori]

My DS is 13 , in year 9 . i monitor his internet usage and have all appropriat parental controls on his phone end computer. I have been monitoring chats ( occasionally) he has with friends on facebook. I noticed he was talking to a girl from his school and that she was leading conversation towards sex chat.i was a bit surprised but it was pretty innocent. I didnt pry, any further.
They have now moved to whats app and its getting more erotic.
it appears to be led by the girl, my DS is responding but doesnt know what to say back mostly .

I actually have no idea what to do about this, do i leave them to it. They only see each other at school .

Today I took my 16 yr old son's I pod touch to get fixed, once I got home I decided to have a look through his emails, I was horrified at what I found, there was emails that he had sent to girls, some emails had photos of the girls half or fully naked that they had sent him, and my son had sent back photos of his private body parts, the messages were very explicit about what they want to do to each other.
I don't know what to do

This has become a problem for me also. My son is 11 but a local girl in his group is a few years older and more developed, they have snap chat (I didn't know this until recently) so I'm only seeing one side of the conversation (hers) but the photos she is sending, while clothed, remain provocative none the less depending on the pose and way it's photographed. I'm not sure if I should confront him or her about it I case it's just nothing.

My fear of confronting my son is how he will react to the embarrassment of me knowing, he is a good kid and I have never had any worries before now, some of the stuff that has been written in the emails are very explicit, I also have the worry of the young girls that are sending photos of there body parts.

Oonie - respect your son's privacy and do not check his emails!

And if you snoop, expect to be shocked. If there had been emails when you were 16, how would you have felt if your mother had snooped? Akin to reading one's diary when we were teenagers which would have been devastating to me as a 16 year old!

In this day and age I think it's sensible for any parent to check their child emails, texts ect, there are so many dangers on the Internet and I would rather snoop and read my son's messages so then I can steer him in the right direction and know he is safe.

If your ds has photos of a girl under 16 on his phone or emails, laptop....he could get a criminal record.

I think it is very wise to talk to dc about this. I also believe they should know, you will randomly check phones and social media up age of 16

As was pointed out to me on your other thread, Oonie, and for the benefit of those saying it's none of your business.....actually it is.

Quoted from nobelgiraffe
Yes, illegal till 18. Counts as child abuse images even if
the child takes and sends them themselves.

OP, there's some advice here
www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/keeping-children-safe/sexting/

and here: www.thinkuknow.co.uk/parents/Nude-Selfies-What-parents-and-carers-need-to-know/

For context:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/teenagers/2484003-Sexual-emails?msgid=56988805#56988805

Thankyou BrianCoxReborn for sharing that links.
I think as a responsible parent it is my right to check that my child is safe, and I will do anything to do that, even if I have to snoop and what I found will not be ignored.

I think it's worrying that so many people think "oh they're 16, it's their way for exploring, leave them to it" as I did, and as so many on here have said similar.

In actual fact, it isn't harmless fun and can end up very serious consequences. Snoop away!!