Teenage son struggling to make friends

[choirmumoftwo]

DS (16) has always struggled to form close relationships with his peers. Even at nursery, he preferred the company of the staff than the other children. He gets on well with his classmates in school, and with others who he does activities with, but he rarely gets invited to socialise with them outside. As he gets older, this is increasingly a cause for concern for him and us and he's actually quite lonely, even though he's always busy. I think he's one of those people who can feel alone in a room full of people. We don't know how to help him and wondered if anyone has had similar experience. He's convinced he's on the autistic spectrum which may be true but we think he just lacks some social skills and doesn't quite know how to get the balance right between being friendly/engaging and being pushy/needy. Any thoughts gratefully received!

If you read today's news with Head teachers of private schools saying that mental health is a huge problem then I would just be pleased that he seems well rounded and I am sure the rest will come later.

Hard to say & he sounds like DD (13). She doesn't have many close friends and has always found it hard to form close friendships, although generally sociable, happy to go out and not unpopular at school either. She can appear reserved, doesn't go in for all that hugging & kissing that girls do although will hug if she 'has to'. I have thought 'is she on spectrum somewhere?', but really there are no other signs bar this one. I have also suggested she join a youth group (this is how I made most of mine) and she hasn't dismissed it yet so we shall see. This is all made more obvious by DS who has just started year 7 and his social life is mad!! Has a party of some sort every weekend, etc.

could he be gay? Obviously it won't mean you would treat him differently, but it might explain a few things. And at 16 you can already know, but just not be sure.. not meaning to interfere, just help.