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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

So yesterday my son came home with anti depressants

13 replies

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 26/09/2015 23:08

And I'm really not sure how I feel about it. Regular viewers might have picked up that he/ I have been having difficulties for some time but this feels like something else. He said he'd gone off on one and his gf said he should go to the doctor, which he'd done, and come back with the tablets. I've got previous with ssri and we managed to have a sensible conversation about it and whether or not it was a good idea and they don't suit everybody but I'm terrified for him because when I was on them I ended up with a suicide note in my hand. Please tell me he's going to be OK...

OP posts:

GrinAndTonic · 26/09/2015 23:15

Firstly your DS should be applauded for acknowledging his issues and dealing with them.
Secondly, everyone reacts differently to different medications. I have an adverse reaction to valium and can't take it but that doesn't mean that my DM or DB shouldn't.
I would just tell him to be aware of the side effects and support him.

Original poster

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 26/09/2015 23:22

Yes I'm really pleased that he 'admitted' it to me, he's hardly been communicative over the past few years (he's 19).

OP posts:

ouryve · 26/09/2015 23:24

You need to be so thankful that he's seen his problem (with the help of his GF) and gone to the doctor and made a start on trying to do something about it.

Give him a big hug. Just not when anyone's looking.

Alternateen · 26/09/2015 23:27

Well done to your DS.
And totally agree with pp that everyone reacts differently to drugs. I can't take anti histamine or ibuprofen, but Valium and codeine has little effect on me. Weird.
My DD has recently started on anti depressants and an anti psychotic. She's doing great, although I'm not sure they've fully kicked in yet. Im keeping a close eye. But what has made the biggest difference to her, IMHO, is that her problems have been acknowledged, named and treated. This is what I think has worked best for her so far. You may well find the same for your DS.
Good luck to your DS for a much calmer future. And for you.

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 26/09/2015 23:30

I took DD to Drs Friday as she didn't want to go alone, she's been put on beta blockers, anti depressants are option if these don't work.

Tonight she told me she's not ashamed to say she's on them she just wants to feel better and I admire her for that. She also on the never ending wait list of CBT.

Side effects to everything so we will monitor but you have to think of the effects of not taking them.

Original poster

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 26/09/2015 23:38

I want him to be better (what ever that means), happier, getting on with life instead of staying up all night and spending all day thinking up new reasons to blame his frustration on me/ DP. If he takes the tablets I want them to help him get off his arse and take control of a few things. And yes I acknowledge that it was a big deal for him to share it with me. I just don't want him to get any worse like I did with them. I've said my piece and he listened. He's taken the box back into his room now so perhaps he has decided to take them. I don't want to project my fear of them onto him when they might help him. Or will they..?

OP posts:

ouryve · 26/09/2015 23:48

They might help him. If they do, it'll take a good month or so. Never cast doubt based on your own experience.

ChocolateJam · 27/09/2015 11:54

OP oh how I wish my depression had been diagnosed in my late teens or early twenties rather than only when I was thirty. It's a really positive thing that your DS sought help and is willing to talk to you about it. No anti-depressant works for everybody who takes it so there is always the possibility that he might have to change medication. Maybe suggest that he keeps a mood diary so that he can track his progress? Counselling would also be really good in conjunction with the medication.

TuTru · 27/09/2015 14:55

It's hard. When I was a teenager I was depressed, I attempted suicide and ended up in hospital.
To cut a long story short, when I got home and my mum told my dad they'd given her tablets to give me (I was 15) he threw them away. Said I wasn't gonna be taking anything like that.
Two years later I was still suicidal, and hadn't had any professional help.
Now... Now I take antidepressants everyday, 30 years later I started these & I wish I'd had them sooner.

Medication is the only reason I'm still alive, so it's not a bad thing. But it does need closely monitoring and nobody should ever just stop taking them, even if they feel better. That can cause terrible problems.
I hope your son feels better soon, and then maybe he'll feel up to tackling life. Just make sure he's aware of side effects and that suicidal feelings are always a symptom and can be sorted by telling someone that's how you feel.
Nothing can't be resolved.

Original poster

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 01/10/2015 08:54

He hasn't started taking them -yet-, the box is still unopened in his room. He's been at his girlfriend's all week so I've not had another chance to talk to him about it. I don't think he's suicidal but he IS angry, bored and frustrated.

OP posts:

mumeeee · 03/10/2015 11:21

DD2 was diagnosed with depression and anxiety last year. She was prescribed Ads but didn't want to take them at first. She than started taking them and although she has had ups and downs they have really helped her. Her GP did up her dose a couple of times but she is now back on a lower dose and she is back to being her usual self. Well done to your DS for admitting he needed help.

marnie22 · 08/10/2015 18:30

It's really worrying that GPs are prescribing medication without psychotherapy. I know the government says we can't afford long-term therapy (so they undermine its usefulness), but anti-depressants aren't treating the problem, they're numbing the symptoms of the problem. Of course they can be incredibly useful and often life-saving, but only talking to a qualified and talented psychotherapist will enable someone to unpack the deep-rooted issues and beliefs that have caused their depression.
CBT is a sticking plaster quick fix at best, and only good for behavioural problems. Depression is not behavioural, it's psychological. I have found my DS a psychotherapist through the NHS but they only give you 8 sessions. She continues to see him for free because she's kind and we've been lucky. I realise this is unusual, but if a child is really worrying/suicidal, then the GP should be persuaded to find a psychotherapist and not just fob you off with CBT. You may have to talk up the symptoms a bit. Every time I've seen my GP about something else, she asks how DS is and offers me medication for him. I find this shocking. Therapy takes time to work and we all have to be immensely patient which is painful and hard, but shelling out medication to young people is not the answer.
However, I don't think it's a good plan to make a teenager feel guilty about taking anti-depressants - it's positive that he went to get help. Can he be persuaded to go back (with or without you) and ask for therapeutic help instead?

turdfairynomore · 08/10/2015 18:38

They have helped my DD in the long tern . BUT ........after her first 10 days she took an OD so please be vigilant. Apparently they raise the mood just enough to make you feel able to do something about how cheap you feel! My DD was 19 & didn't tell she'd started them so you are, step ahead op.

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