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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Staying in touch with home when away

12 replies

onlyoranges · 24/09/2015 11:24

I just wondered what happens with other families. Our 19 yr old ds is on hol at the moment and my dh has had 1 text and I have had none. We don't want a constant update of how it's going but an occasionally message would be nice and also reassuring. He is going travelling soon and we are both worried we won't hear anything from him. My dh took a gap year (or 2) and travelled and said one of his friends didn't contact his parents for 6 months. I don't want to come across as some over protective Mum here but thought as communication is so quick and easy we may have got a arrived ok, accommodation good etc. Or should I expect, well nothing?

OP posts:

aginghippy · 24/09/2015 11:52

It may be that no news is good news iykwim. I would just assume he's having a good time and isn't even thinking about his parents. How long is he away for?

Did you talk to him about what you want? With my dd, before she left we asked her to message us when she got there, which she did. After that we sent the odd message with news from home, which eventually got replies. Once or twice in a week's holiday would be fine for me.

Original poster

onlyoranges · 24/09/2015 13:48

He is away for 3 weeks and it really wouldn't be an issue if I didn't get the feeling this is a sample of what we are going to get when he is travelling the world and we would then like confirmation he is still alive occasionally! I think you are right about expectations. When he gets back we need to talk about communication with home when he leaves to travel. He is planning on visiting some countries where there is unrest and it will be important to know that everything is ok then.

OP posts:

SecretSquirrels · 24/09/2015 14:55

I remember a school trip when I had heard nothing from DS in a week and jokingly texted him to ask whether they were nearly there yet.......

Canyouforgiveher · 24/09/2015 15:42

My 18 year old is away in college on the other side of the world. We agreed with him that he would contact us once a week by facetime or skype and he has stuck with that. I wish he would text more just with a bit of news but I am happy enough once he sticks to the once a week chat.

BackforGood · 25/09/2015 00:00

I wouldn't really expect to hear from them while they were away. I always work on the principle that no news is good news, as you'd hear soon enough if there were a problem.
If they do contact you then it's a bonus - although, the more they contact you, the more you 'expect' it, and the more you worry on the days you don't hear.
My dd was away on the other side of the world for 3 weeks recently, and the people who were in constant contact with their dc were getting all worked up, as their dc were telling them if they didn't feel well or were upset or homesick. Far better not to know as there's nothing you can do - the people who are with them will deal with it, and will contact you if there's anything serious.

bigbluebus · 26/09/2015 11:52

I use Whatsapp. DS is poor at responding to texts so I send Whatsapp messages - that way, even if he doesn't reply, I know he's read them and is still alive.

Mrsjayy · 26/09/2015 11:52

Dh is obsessed with this im not that bothered dd is 20odd and away during the week and he says have you heard from.. where she is has not very good reception and wifi is limited so i will maybe get 1/2 texts a week she an adult and busy. Dd2 is away over night I had a im off the train text dh again have you heard from I think you have to accept the no news is good news thing and try and not be anxious about it.

Original poster

onlyoranges · 26/09/2015 13:14

I might do the whatsapp thing. When he enters countries where there is conflict we will need to know all is ok. Don't know why they can't do the Australia/New Zealand route like everyone else! I think if we set up a once a week/fortnight quick message he will stick to that Canyouforgive (interesting back story to your name)??? Thanks

OP posts:

NegativeIron · 27/09/2015 22:18

What's app is what my sister uses.
One of my friends sent a text that read

" if you don't contact me chortle I chalk put baby pictures of you on Facebook."

Sure enough, the phone went in ten mins.

NegativeIron · 27/09/2015 22:19

Shortly, not chortle though she and I both did...

iwantgin · 27/09/2015 22:42

I don't think you should expect more than one or two texts.

When I was 17 I was taking hols abroad with my friends. this was pre mobile phones.

We all went to the payphone a couple of days in just to callhome to check in.
I was away recently and left DS at home. He is 17. I messaged him maybe twice, more so he wasn't feeling lonely at home. ;)

Yes, What's App is a good way to do it, as you can see if the recipient has read the message.

Samcro · 27/09/2015 22:44

i just used to ask ds to update on fb.
so he would just post random pics...that he would have posted any way. but I saw them and knew he was ok

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