15 year old possibly pregnant..

[kjaugust05]

My just turned 15 year old daughter has just informed me that her and her bf had unprotected sex at the end of the summer holidays and there's a possibility she might be pregnant. I made her do a pg test and it was negative. Unfortunately she can't remember when they had sex (it was only once apparently) nor when her period is due. Trying to work it out she thinks it was during w/c 24.08.15 and she thinks her period was due at the beginning of this week. She's ridiculously blase about the dates. I don't know if she's telling me these dates because she wants to believe that the test is a true negative. If I take her to the Dr is there any way they can tell earlier than an over the counter pg test? When I was pg (many year ago) I remember my Dr telling me that the tests you buy over the counter are as good as the ones they use in the lab. Is this still true? I've told her she'll have to do another test on Monday if she hasn't got her period before then.

I am very calm outside but inside I'm raging and very emotional. I can't believe they have been so bloody stupid. I had the bf come down this morning and read them both the riot act about the dangers of unprotected sex etc. Ranted at them both. I can't quite get my head round the fact that my dd has had sex at all. Don't get me wrong, I know teens have sex, I did for heavens sake. But still, my dd?

Another issue is my husband, her dad. She's asked me not to tell him. Obviously if she turns out to be pg then I'll tell him. What about if she isn't? I've never kept anything from my husband before and I'm not sure I want to start now.

This was not how my Friday was supposed to start. :-(

You have my sympathy OP

Although they were 16 at the time so above the legal age (only just in DS's case), DS and his GF were in a similar situation. They actually had sex for the first time at his 16th b/day party - at our house, while we were in bed - and he was mature enough (plus we have a very open relationship and can discuss most things) to tell me about it the next day. He assured me they had used a condom and I stressed that they should be discussing the pill etc if they were going to continue in this vein.

A few weeks later they told us over dinner that they had been through a similar scare to your DD, but had coped alone without even confiding in her mum (her dad passed away and she has a rather immature if extremely sweet stepdad). Fortunately she was not pg and they were now taking things seriously with her on the pill and using condoms too.

I think it was totally a wake up call to them both - they had just embarked on studying for A levels in their prestigious school's sixth form and had high hopes for good uni places further down the line - the last thing they wanted was a baby or anything that could undermine their future plans.

Instead of being horrified - as my own mum was when I became pg at 17 (I was bullied into having an abortion without being asked if that's what I wanted) - DH and I decided to not discourage them from sleeping together at our house. That way we could ensure they were safe and not struggling to find somewhere else to do it, as no doubt they would.

There's a happy end to my story - almost ten years down the line they are still together (no DC yet) - we both feel very proud of them both and the mature way we all handled the situation

I'm sure your DD will be fine OP (whether it turns out she's pg or not - but I think she most likely isn't) as at least you are talking calmly about it.....think I'd tell DH if it were me though.

GL x

How old is the BF?

bf is also 15. I did tell dh and to be honest it was a relief. I'd held all the angst inside all day at work and I just blurted it all out when I got home. He was devastated, more at the betrayal of trust and stupidity of unprotected sex rather than the actuality of having sex. Although he wasnt best pleased about that either.

We've had a calmer, albeit emotional, talk with her tonight about the legalities of what they've done, the sheer stupidity and how disappointed we are.

If she hasn't got her period by Monday then she wants to do another pregnancy test. We'll take it from there I guess.

Thank you to all of you who've taken the time to reply and share your stories. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. xx

Least its all in the open now fingers crossed period arrives

Quick update to say dd's period arrived early Sunday morning. She cried with relief, she'd been panicking all weekend. I'm not sure she realises how lucky she is to have gotten away with it. We've chatted a lot over the weekend as a family and while things are still a little tense between dd and dh, normality is starting to return to the house. Thank you once again to all who took the time to reply. xx

Thank goodness for that.

Phew! Now help her get some reliable contraception.

You sound like a lovely family.

I guess the sex wasn't that great if they haven't gone there since, but it's probably still a good idea to get some more permanent type of contraception.

Phew!! What a relief for you all. I have two nearly 15 year old DDs and this sort if thing worries me a lot.

Bet you were more relieved than she was glad its worked out

excellent news. Lesson learned about responsibility.

although it was fun and they WILL do it again. So off to get pills and condoms before they do.

It mush have been obvious that I'd been worrying as she woke me up early hours of Sunday morning to tell me. I was so relieved, I hugged her while she cried and then tucked her back into bed like a five year old.

She did say that she was terrified of telling me on Friday morning but she knew that once I'd shouted and told her off, she knew I'd help her sort it out. While she says they have no plans to do it again as this whole experience has scared them off, a trip to the GP is on the cards anyway. I do not want another weekend like that again!