CAMHS, Counselling, Self Harm, Anxiety - HELP!

[Ripeningapples]

DD is 16. Just done GCSE and received excellent results which are good enough to get her into her 6th form of choice and a very good one indeed.

Back in February she became so anxious she started self harming. I knew nothing of this until I got a call from the GP on the afternoon after her last exam. DD had made an appointment and gone to seek help. Had an appointment with the GP who was fabulous and recommended referral to Camhs. Explained we were about to move area and she said just get it picked up again by new GP.

As background dd is quiet, shy, self effacing, always been extremely well behaved. Has had some issues over self esteem and also her sexuality. She dislikes loud environments but has always been very resolute and very prescient about the behaviour of others and who to be wary of. There was a very nasty group of girls at her school and dd has always managed to steer clear of trouble from them when many others didn't. She had a little spate of self harm when she was in Year 7 and didn't cope awfully well with moving to secondary. I managed to arrange some counselling sessions privately via a personal recommendation but dd didn't particularly gel with the counsellor. At that time the GP we saw wasn't very helpful.

Anyway new GP referred locally. This was a month ago and we went back to the doctor on Tuesday. The doctor basically said CAMHS aren't helpful and most people she refers they refuse to see or say there's a waiting list of many many months. I asked for a private recommendation and was told to look on the internet myself because the doctor didn't know anyone. I said I wasn't prepared to find a "random" off the internet and would she please press for an appointment and find out where dd was in the system and said I expected an update by the end of the week. She said fine and also gave me the number.

I rang and got a cancellation for today. DD saw a counsellor for assessment who advised they'd discuss her case and prioritise her and that there would be a wait of at least three months. I said I wasn't happy with that because my daughter was about to start a new school, had been in the system for three months already and I was perfectly happy to get the matter dealt with privately for the sake of support and speed. She said she wasn't allowed to although she did know someone she thought was brilliant. Surely if the NHS won't help due to demand then it isn't ureasonable to ask for a recommendation privately if it helped dd deal with her anxiety and help her vis a vis the self harm which she had reached out for help for on her own. She agreed DD needed support for her anxiety.

The other route available is to have her referred to The Priory which insists on a full psychiatric assessment prior to any referral to one of their counsellors which is £385 for the psychiatric assessment. I can see that I will have little alternative but to go down this route but I really feel that the full psychiatric assessment is a sledgehammer to crack a nut.

What I find more irritating than ever is that I saw another GP at the same surgery today because I have been diagnosed with a chronic medical condition which requires drug treatment and tried to discuss with the GP my own research into various drugs for this. I was ticked off royally for looking things up on the internet and told it was counterproductive.

My priority is dd obviously. But how does one deal with such conflicting advice. On the one hand a GP tells me to find a random off the internet to help my daughter and on the other a GP at the same practice tells me not to look up my own condition on the internet.

Really not sure how to deal with this. Having read MiniFingers' thread just now, I am very tempted to ditch the whole CAMHS thing entirely. Just feeling so confused and unsupported at the moment.

Thank you for reading. I am sorry that was long and it might not make sense but if I go back and reread I won't post and I really need some support here. GPs responses very welcome in helping to advise about this if any of you are about please. Where can I go for sensible advice?

I'd say you were pretty lucky to be seen with in 3 months. We waited 18 months for first appointment then another 18 months for diagnosis CAMHS is massively under resources it's shocking ! We have now been "under" CAMHS for a few years and today I called having a really tough time with DD and the soonest they could see us is end of November .

Maybe if you post in mental health you may get a few recommendations for the private option.

I am sorry you have had such a long wait passthewineasap.

What I just don't understand is the refusal to refer to an appropriate professional privately. I seem to have one set of experts telling me to find an expert off the internet and another one telling me I shouldn't look on the internet to seek the facts about my own diagnosis.

I'm so sorry you and your DD are going through this. And I completely understand your frustration at the system there. Three months is far too long to wait. And from our experience, it is not worth the wait at all.

Personally I don't think there is anything wrong in googling for information on the right treatment. We must take control over our health and that of our loved ones. If I were you, I would indeed search for a private counsellor in your area with the relevant experience and qualifications.

I disagree that a psychiatric assessment is a sledgehammer to crack a nut. Let me tell our story - but I have to leave out stuff as we are far too identifiable.

My DD has been SH for over 3 years. She has anxiety and all sort of other stuff. After years of counselling nothing changed and she actually got worse. She was experiencing hallucinations, hearing voices and developing OCD. She was brushed off as being a drama queen. Nobody tried to get to the root of her problems and just tried to give her coping mechanisms. They didn't work for her.

We live overseas now and in desperation I went to my doctor to see what our next steps should be. Doctor gave me anti depressants and anti anxiety drugs for her. She was quickly sent to a fabulous psychiatrist who diagnosed PTSD and depression with psychotic elements. Within a few days she was admitted to a psychiatric unit to be fully assessed and treated. She is a different person already. Just having the 'label' has helped her as the minimising done in the UK was incredibly damaging. She finally feels that she is believed and is ready to move forward in the embrace of a very good private system.

She's had MRIs and EEGs to rule out tumours and epilepsy, blood tests to rule out a raft of other potential issues and several talking sessions a day plus medication.

While it is very upsetting to see her in this unit, I know she is finally getting the help that wasn't available in the UK due to the over stretched NHS.

After all that rambling (sorry) I would recommend moving into the private medical sector if you can afford it. And please do research what is out there for you.

I wish you and your daughter all the very best for a happier future.

Feeling your pain, we've been there too.

Personally I agree with Alternateen, I think googling for information on illness/treatments is fine. If nothing else, when a doctor starts talking about something I usually have an idea what they are talking about and know what questions I want to ask.

I'm surprised that they wouldn't/can't give you details of a private counsellor. I've found it very difficult to judge a counsellor just by researching on line. You don't get a feel for them unless you meet them and most seem to have the same registrations/qualifications....

Our experience of camhs was very mixed but eventually worth it. My dd initially waited about 3 months for assessment with a psychiatrist and then another 6 weeks to start 'talking' sessions with a mental health nurse. She went through about 3 nurses as they kept leaving (and she only really engaged with the 2nd one) and I felt we were getting nowhere. The psychiatrist left, a locum joined (dd saw him once) then he left. Then eventually a permanent psychiatrist joined - eventually someone who actually listened and seemed to care. And from then everything was much more positive, dd is so much better now and has been discharged. She remains on low dosage meds for depression and care has been transferred back to the gp.

So, from our experience, it's all about the people. However, as your dd is 16 she won't have that long under camhs as they start discharging at 17 and in our area will only refer to adult services in serious cases. So if you decide to go down the camhs route keep pushing now.

For what it's worth, a few years ago an acquaintance whose own dd had depression/sh problems told me how much she regretted not pushing for camhs intervention, because once her dd was 18 nobody was interested.

Good luck with everything.

I've phoned them this morning and spoken to the lady dd saw yesterday. She was an MH nurse I discover and will discuss dd with a psychiatrist, possibly today, possibly next Friday as she'll miss the team meeting on Tuesday. Her feeling is,that dd needs CBT to find other ways of dealing with her anxiety. Likely to be several months wait. They evidently don't make recommendations but seem to know what she needs.

They don't seem to care that dd was already in the system for two months.

The only way to safely access what she needs is therefore to go through the assessment at the Priory for £385 to ensure she sees someone with a sound provenance. I can't help feeling that some of these psychiatrists running these units work for the Priory too and it's in their bed interests to operate the services like this.

I don't know how helpful this will be and I'm not suggesting it as an alternative to your current route for help, but I would recommend you look at this website.
hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/
From what you say, it could help your DD gain some insight into her innate characteristics and how to navigate life around them. I first read the book 'The Highly Sensitive Child' by Elaine N Aron when my DS was still very small. It was a complete revelation not only about him but about me too. If this makes any sense to you and your DD, there is a book for adults 'The Highly Sensitive Person' which may be more age appropriate.

Thank you northern. I cane out with a score of 19. Dd is more sensitive than me.

I would stay away from the Priory to be honest, I know a few people who have been to various ones for various issues, brand name over substance to be honest. There will be an independent private psychiatrist near you somewhere if you want to go private, and I think that's a good idea, the price will be roughly the same Priory or not. They are famous but not that good.

Have her assessed and go from there, they might recommend a private psychotherapist or you can reassess the CAHMS situation. If you can afford it, go private, much quicker and easier.

You don't need a GP refferal for either of these things, you can google and look at reviews/google names and self refer. My eldest has OCD (fully in remission now), we did it all privately and didn't go to the GP once, we did the research ourselves, check out your local nuffields or similar or google "private psychiatrist" and check out their credentials.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it's horrific to watch . If you have any more questions about how this works in the private system I can maybe help.

Thank you. I'll have a look later at the sites you suggest. You'd just think GPs would be a bit more helpful.

Yes they should be. I don't understand why every GP surgery doesn't have a list of local private providers that have all been agreed upon, you would think given the current situation with the overloading that they would be wanting to refer to private treatment as much as possible .