Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

What phones does your 14 year old DS have (especially those at a grammar school!)

64 replies

letseatgrandma · 27/08/2015 17:21

I only add the grammar school comment because having the right phone seems to be a 'big thing' at DS's grammar whereas my friends with children at other schools report otherwise.

DS has my old iphone 4s which is totally on its last legs (I had it for 2 years and he's had it for 2-he's looked after it well). It's his birthday coming up and he'd like a new one.

Loads of the boys at his school (going into Y9) have an iphone 5 or 5s. Some have a 6. I don't have a 5 to pass on, so I'd have to buy it.

I don't want to buy a contract one (he's currently on a £7 a month cheapy deal) costing me £20+ a month to get a new phone, but could probably get him a iphone 5 second hand from Ebay (though those are selling for £200+-for a second hand phone, is that a crap birthday present!!?)

I'm wondering about other phones though now and wondering if you get more for your money? Are they socially acceptable ;) !!? Samsung S4 etc?

OP posts:

ShanghaiDiva · 28/08/2015 08:32

My ds has an iPhone 5s. We live overseas so there is no contract - he bought the phone brand new for about 400 quid and saved the money himself. Personally, I think it's nuts to spend all that money on a phone, but many kids at his school have iPhone 5 and 6 or Samsung equivalents. Prior to this he had a cheap Samsung which we bought for him. It's absolute madness - I have a Nokia which cost 12 quid 4 years ago and I refuse to buy into this smart phone craze.

sanfairyanne · 28/08/2015 08:33

We are upgrading ds' iphone 4. Wait a month til the new one comes out maybe as prices for others will (i hope!) drop a bit. Other ds has a samsung mini. Ds is paying the difference.

Devilishpyjamas · 28/08/2015 08:39

He has an iPhone 4s (my ancient hand me down) on PAYG. He can have my iPhone 5 in 18 months when I upgrade it, or something cheaper beforehand. He has savings (quite a lot - from some paid work he did) but I won't let him spend it on a £££££ phone to go into school. He's at a grammar school about to go into year 9.

Bakeoffcake · 28/08/2015 08:40

I'm surprised all these DC are allowed to have their phones in school. At dds comp if a phone is even seen by a teacher they are confiscated until the end of term. And they stick to these rules- mobiles seems to cause so much disruption, they shouldn't be in a classroom.

I will add, if the DC does need a phone for some reason, they can be handed in at the office before school starts, then they are collected after school.

thehypocritesoaf · 28/08/2015 08:44

A very crap phone at a nice grammar school. I wouldn't dream of paying more than £50.

sanfairyanne · 28/08/2015 09:02

Oh i forgot to add - the phone is going nowhere near school!

senua · 28/08/2015 09:08

There doesn't need to be an ongoing theft 'problem' for a theft to occur, does there?

I'm with you there Arsenic. I've always thought that one of the best ways to avoid theft is not to put temptation in their way, it's not fair on them.

WankerDeAsalWipe · 28/08/2015 09:30

So by the same token scantily dressed women are asking for it?

I never risk what I can't afford and as I say I've assessed the risk as minimal.

Arsenic · 28/08/2015 09:36

Oh wanker, don't be a wally. It's not all about you and what you can afford to have stolen.

What about the hassle to teaching staff when £400, £600, £800 devices get brought in and subsequently go astray? Or get broken? What about the bullying and showing-off?

DelphiniumBlue · 28/08/2015 09:40

My 14 year old DS has my old HTC. Think it's about 5 years old. He rarely uses it, and never takes it to school. Theoretically he'd like a newer one, but vits so far down his list that he's really not bothered, he hasn't asked for an upgrade. None of his friends seem to carry a phone, they communicate online. He's at a London comp fwiw, albeit in quite an advantaged area.

WankerDeAsalWipe · 28/08/2015 09:48

Oh arsenic, don't be an arse either. I think the point being that there isn't a straight forward answer. Schools etc vary considerably. Most people want their children to just fit in to avoid bullying etc. So the answer probably is don't necessarily go by what your child tells you, ask about locally, sum it all up but never give them something that you or they can't afford to replace. And always remember the risk is yours and it's not up to the school to resolve.

Probably the ultimate answer is to equip your child with sufficient resilience so that they don't care and can stand up to peer pressure but that is quite tough.

senua · 28/08/2015 09:50

Wanker I was talking about morally-immature, easily-swayed DC.
I'm with Arsenic again: don't be a wally.

It's your life. If you think that spending money on giving your DC toys to impress his mates is a good idea then go ahead. I can't help you there because such thing aren't on my radar.

senua · 28/08/2015 09:55

Probably the ultimate answer is to equip your child with sufficient resilience so that they don't care and can stand up to peer pressure but that is quite tough.

Yup. I'm lucky in that I can say to DC "I can afford it but choose not to: it's a waste of money and playing into the hands of advertising and big business. If you want it so much then you make it happen yourself."

Give the child a limited amount of money to spend as they wish. When it's their money instead of yours then suddenly get much more choosy and discerning.

IguanaTail · 28/08/2015 09:58

While there are exceptions, I think you can make generalisations about theft in certain schools. I worked in one where everything that wasn't nailed down or locked away was pinched. And another where there were bags left in unlocked classrooms (classrooms were never locked) every day for assemblies and never an issue.

Some schools have ongoing issues with theft.

OP - maybe ask friends and family if anyone is thinking of selling their iPhone. My iPhone 5 I sold back for £100.

senua · 28/08/2015 10:08

I think you can make generalisations about theft in certain schools.

You can't totally rely on history, it only takes one bad apple. DS's generally-not-too-bad school had a lad join for sixth form from a naice Grammar. They realised after a while that he was a thief but it took time to amass the evidence and expel him.

WankerDeAsalWipe · 28/08/2015 10:26

It's your life. If you think that spending money on giving your DC toys to impress his mates is a good idea then go ahead. I can't help you there because such thing aren't on my radar.

No, I get them these things because I know they get pleasure from having them, they use them mainly out of school and impressing their mates isn't on anyone's radar. DS1 is borderline aspergers and barely speaks to anyone and DS2 isn't wired that way, he likes the phone for what it does and a lot of his friends would have what they perceive to be better phones than he has anyway. he has desires to work for Sony and likes all things Japanese.

My DC in general work hard at school and don't give me any grief on that score so if I chose to spend my money on them then as you say that is up to me.

Just don't assume that all teenagers are thieves in waiting and shouldn't have temptation put in their way, that is not only ridiculous and insulting to the majority, it isn't the way society works either. I thought that we were actually trying to raise responsible citizens?

thehypocritesoaf · 28/08/2015 10:27

But even if the school is shangri la, surely 14 yr olds are travelling to get there?

Arsenic · 28/08/2015 10:29

I thought that we were actually trying to raise responsible citizens?

By showering them with expensive electronics they haven't worked for?

WankerDeAsalWipe · 28/08/2015 10:32

We live out of catchment so mine are dropped and collected at the door every day so again a non issue for me. But a good point to be considered in terms of making the decision. 14 years olds also are out and about at other times than travelling to and from school I would say too. Mine would prefer to stay in their rooms to be honest but a lot of time don't take their phone out if they are just going to the park or shops etc. They don't tend to stray far. Maybe if they were the type to go into town/city and hang about in groups etc I'd get a cheap payg for them to use for that.

WankerDeAsalWipe · 28/08/2015 10:33

How do you know they haven't worked for them Arsenic?

senua · 28/08/2015 10:36

You've changed your tune Wanker. One minute you are saying you will buy "to just fit in to avoid bullying etc" and the next you are saying "impressing their mates isn't on anyone's radar".

Just don't assume that all teenagers are thieves in waiting ...it isn't the way society works
Do you have a lock on your front door? Do you lock your car when you leave it? Is your bank account only accessible by your signature or PIN?
Of course society works that way!

YeOldeTrout · 28/08/2015 10:38

£30-£50 cheapy from supermarket is fine at DC schools, but MUST be touchscreen, so Android a good bet.

Lot of smashed-screen old iPhones among DD's mates.

BrendaandEddie · 28/08/2015 10:38

I wish mine were collected as they live out of catchment

rollonthesummer · 28/08/2015 10:39

Does the charge when hold on a 4s? I think you should upgrade. Mine all have 5s. Had he no savings ?

Not all 14 year olds have savings!

YeOldeTrout · 28/08/2015 10:43

I'm surprised all these DC are allowed to have their phones in school.

DD's school encourages/allows the kids to pull phones out during lessons to look stuff up online, use it like a calculator, take pictures for projects, etc. They are free to use them during breaks which has been handy when DD forgot something (or more importantly) when DD was asked to do a sports event or an extra rehearsal so had to request a late pickup.

ps: not a grammar school, I guess those schools have more class iPads & teachers with time to chase parents with late requests.

Flip

1 2 3