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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

How much would you pay a teenager to stay overnight in your house?

28 replies

cluttered · 16/08/2015 12:03

Have posted this in Chat but it may get lost in there so thought posting here may attract more replies!

I occasionally need to go away overnight for work and as I am now a lone parent I have found a local 6th former to come and stay in the house overnight with my 2 secondary aged DC the next time I need to do this. DC1 will be 16 when this occurs so could stay in theory by themselves but I am not happy with them being responsible for younger DC2 who would probably not obey them in an emergency but would obey another teenager. Also the 6th former will have nearby family to call on so am much happier with this arrangement even though they are not much older than DC1.

My question is, how much should I pay them? They will need to come over at some point after school when my DC are back and probably check that DC2 gets something to eat as DC1 can cook but may not include DC2 in this. They will then need to stay overnight in the house and check the DC get off to school before leaving themselves. I will be back that evening so it will just be a single night. My DC go to a school that is further away so they will have to leave the house earlier than the 6th former and are completely fine at sorting themselves out in the morning so really it should just be a matter of the 6th former staying in our house for the night and possibly heating up some food for DC2. I don't want to insult them by offering a ridiculously low amount but am unsure what the going rate is nowadays for teenage babysitters? Should I just pay an hourly rate for the 12-14 hours they will be in the house or what? Anybody have a DC that does similar babysitting?

OP posts:
TurnOffTheTv · 16/08/2015 12:08

I would offer £50 but no idea if that is enough!

grabaspoon · 16/08/2015 12:11

As a nanny I would charge babysitting rate per hour from when I started to time I go to bed, then an overnight fee from say 10 pm until the morning 6am and then I'm hourly rate again. This would cost you over £100 so 40-60 would be suitable

ImperialBlether · 16/08/2015 12:11

How old is the teenager? They won't have any authority over your eldest child - is that likely to be a problem, eg if your DC1 decides to go out at 10pm?

Original poster
cluttered · 16/08/2015 12:14

Thanks TurnOff yes I was thinking £50 minimum but am not sure if that is too low especially as we live in London? I think they might be embarrassed to ask for more if they thought this was too low but I am envisaging I will need them every couple of months or so and don't want them to be unhappy with the arrangement!

OP posts:
Original poster
cluttered · 16/08/2015 12:25

Wow more posts so soon, didn't realise so many people watched Teenagers!

No problem that they don't have authority over DC1, DC1 is sensible enough not to go out on a school night and doesn't have friends locally anyhow as their school is further afield. The teenager will be 17, they went to the same local primary school as my DC so were one year ahead of DC1 so I am not expecting them to have authority over DC1 it's more to have someone there for DC2.

If it were just DC1 I would be happy for them to have a friend overnight and I would totally trust them to get for school as they are quite self-motivated and get off to school on time even if I am not up however DC2 won't take orders from DC1 but will from another teenager of same age. Plus as I say having the teenager there means there are potentially adults from their family on hand if necessary.

OP posts:
cdtaylornats · 16/08/2015 12:49

Minimum wage would be £5 an hour, so £60.

FabulousFudge · 16/08/2015 12:53

£50 plus leave nice dinner and snacks?

Floggingmolly · 16/08/2015 12:54

So your DC1 knows this teenager, who's a year older? Won't he feel a bit humiliated being babysat by someone who is basically a peer? I'd get someone (a lot) older.

Original poster
cluttered · 16/08/2015 14:56

Well Floggingmolly DC1 is not impressed by the idea to say the least!! and wants me to send DC2 to stay with a friend and to stay alone overnight but I am not happy with that because I will be several hours away from London in a fairly rural area and as we get into winter months there may be snow etc which may mean it is impossible for me to get back for many hours. So I am not happy leaving DC1 alone with no adults to call on in an emergency at 16, we are not particularly close to our neighbours, really just acquaintances.

Also, there are no other children locally going to the same school and because it will be mid-week I can't really expect another parent to get DC2 off to a different school to their DC, obviously weekends would be a different situation. Plus the journey to school in the morning will be much easier from our house. If it were a weekend I would probably get DC1 to bring a friend back and send DC2 off as DC1 wants.

So I am presenting it as they are here to be another teenager in the house and to look after DC2 who won't do as you say but will obey them, you just get on with things by yourself and leave DC2 to them. DC1 will probably be happy to get his dinner and eat in his room as he is always complaining that I make him eat with me and DC2. DC2 is a completely different kettle of fish and would prefer to have someone else to eat with. I am not actually sure if DC1 would prefer someone my generation in the house who would be in charge to effectively being left on their own with a slightly older teenager to supervise DC2, I could ask but the question is academic as I don't know anyone older to ask! Maybe if I give DC1 a little money also it will make him happier about the idea. I don't know if it makes a difference that the 6th former is a girl and seems more sensible than DC1 in my opinion? Plus she will have her family in the next street as back up so seems to make the whole situation a lot safer, the only potential problem is DC1's feelings as a PP said!

OP posts:
Bin85 · 16/08/2015 15:00

That's not the only potential problem !

middleeasternpromise · 16/08/2015 15:10

Interesting dynamics I wouldn't leave a 16 yr old home alone overnight but arguably the 17 yr old only has 1 year on them. However the crucial difference is the 17yr old is paid to be 'in charge' has parents nearby as emergency back up so if anything went wrong they would be willing to be called on. Also if you were to be investigated under child protection concerns in respect of a difficult situation the fact that 17 yr old had the back up of much older adults would settle that issue. You probably need to sit down with all 3 and agree the rules, roles and expectations. As for paying 16 yr old to accept the deal that's up to you but I wouldn't presumably you are going away for work so this is to bring money in that pays for life's essentials and luxuries he is already benefiting and needs to get over himself - if this is still the situ next year he could learn to manage his younger sibling better and earn the £50-60 by covering the job himself - how old is younger DC?

Original poster
cluttered · 16/08/2015 15:28

Yes middle eastern that's what I think too, paying for the 17 year old brings the added benefit of help from their parents if needs be. I think lots of people wouldn't be happy with a 16 year old alone overnight with no adults to call on but would be OK with 16 and 17 year old with neighbours a few doors away on call which is essentially what we will have. DC1 has previously stayed overnight alone with 2 16 year old school friends at his friend's house while parents stayed elsewhere in London, they were probably about half hour drive away from our house so had the potential to get up to mischief if they wanted to but they didn't, they are fairly sensible.

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 16/08/2015 15:33

Our dog sitter in our house charges £25 per night, if that compares in any way Smile

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 16/08/2015 15:34

I wouldn't leave my 16 year old either btw , having someone else there will give you peace of mind.

Happy36 · 16/08/2015 15:37

If they're there for 14 hours, let's say 6 hours will be sleeping and 8 hours "working". So, presuming you pay 5 pounds per hour for babysitting, then pay 40 pounds for the 8 hours of work plus say 20 more for the rest, total 60 pounds? Possibly a bit more. Also, stock the fridge well for the three of them!

Travelledtheworld · 16/08/2015 20:53

I agree with all the above eg £5 per hour until bedtime and then a flat fee for Overnight. Leave them all some interesting snacks.

I did recently leave my almost 17 yo and 16 yo alone overnight when I had to travel a long distance to a funeral. They were absolutely fine and the elder one stepped up to the responsibility I gave him, which included getting up to go to his part time job.

I did discretely mention my absence to the next door neighbours who were on call in case of an emergency.

Good Luck !

Gymbob · 16/08/2015 20:57

sorry to lower the tone into the gutter. your DS is 16, and the teenage babysitter is a girl of 17? Shock

Original poster
cluttered · 16/08/2015 21:57

Yes I see what you're saying Gymbob but she's a sixth former she won't be interested in a younger boy, she may have a boyfriend in fact I don't know, and DC2 will be there too.

They're not at the same school but know each other vaguely from primary and general neighbourhood stuff and she's not there to babysit DC1 anyhow, he will probably hole up in his room while she socialises with DC2. He still seems to be at the stage of seeing girls as annoying rather than potential girlfriends however I wouldn't ask him to invite a female classmate around as babysitter for DC2 as that would be asking for trouble! I was kind of hoping he would see her as a slightly older sister as she was ahead of him at school, does that seem unrealistic?

OP posts:
Gymbob · 16/08/2015 22:04

probably is fine, particularly as he still sees girls as annoying. DD1, 16 still finds boys annoying too, so a male babysitter would be of no interest. DD2 on the other hand? no definitely wouldn't get a male 17 year old in Grin

oldbrownboot · 16/08/2015 22:10

no idea about costs but just coming on to say this isn't too weird - we had a not-much-older than my oldest brother babysitter during school holidays when I was young. she basically looked after me and younger brother and my other brother did his own thing, stayed in room mainly. We thought she was great, chatted to us about normal stuff but still definitely in charge (and made us food! although we helped). I see now that my parents probably asked her as her parents nearby and friends with my parents.

VirginiaWoofs · 16/08/2015 22:21

I don't think you should expect the girls parents to help; unless you're planning on paying them too? That's a bit unfair.

Seems like an odd thing to do- can't you pay an agency nanny/babysitter?

Original poster
cluttered · 17/08/2015 00:40

No I wouldn't ordinarily expect the parents to be involved at all but if there were to be an emergency they would be on hand whereas I will be several hours away so it makes it OK for the 3 teenagers to be alone in the house in my opinion.

I actually think DC1 would prefer to have another teenager in the house and be left alone rather than an adult who would have authority over him although he is quite resistant to discussing the whole subject. He really does not want anyone else in the house at all, his first concern on XP leaving was whether we would have to get a lodger to make ends meet and he said he'd definitely prefer to be poorer and keep the house to ourselves.

I have told him that his being left alone overnight is not an option and the choice is between having this 6th former he knows who will not try to tell him what to do or an adult he doesn't know who may well try to impose a few rules. The third option of XP staying over is definitely the worst as DC1 is NC with him since he left plus XP is quite flakey and likely to agree initially and change his mind at the last minute. I would prefer to pay for someone I can rely on.

OP posts:
eyebags63 · 17/08/2015 09:48

How old will DC2 be when this takes place? I struggle to see why it isn't OK to leave a 16 year old watching his teenager sibling overnight really. I would be a bit concerned if I had raised two teens that can't fend for themselves at home for a night. Do they normally fight like cat and dog or something?

Also having a 17 year old in to 'baby sit' a peer is potentially strange and embarrassing for both parties. And I think YABU if you really expect her parents to be on call; have you discussed it with them?

Not to mention the leaving a teen boy/girl alone overnight....

If you really need a babysitter I think you should find an adult and pay the going rate.

sylviassecrets · 18/08/2015 23:31

Sorry I agree with eyebags

CaptainStrange78 · 20/08/2015 22:38

I'm a 17 and I do babysitting outside London and I usually get £50 for an evening without staying over. Having said that I work for a really great guy who pays above the odds to keep the girls he knows are good.