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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teenage ds going travelling

10 replies

furrylittlecreatures · 18/07/2015 13:02

Please be gentle with me here! My eldest ds is going travelling for a year initially. I have been very jolly and supportive about the whole thing he says some of the other parents are saying things like wish you weren't going etc and being real pains. The truth is I am going to miss him so much. Even the thought of it makes me want to cry. I know he is growing up etc and I am being selfish but gosh this is really hard. We get on fantastically well but I am determined to wish him well and not let him know how hard this is.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 18/07/2015 13:07

How old is he? Where's he going to? Is he going on his own or with friends? How long will he be away?

ImperialBlether · 18/07/2015 13:07

Oh sorry, I've just re-read and seen he's going for a year.

Original poster
furrylittlecreatures · 18/07/2015 23:21

He is 19 and going with friends. He has saved almost 8 grand. My dh said he would match what he saved thinking it would be a few hundred I think! No worries in the day to day stuff, it's not about any of that

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Ludways · 18/07/2015 23:29

I moved to the USA when I was 18 and didn't move home again for 6 years. I did visit from time to time but once I was away 2 years. Those were the days without social media and easy communication. Only now do I realise how hard that must've been for my mum. I love her even more for her understanding and acceptance of what I wanted to do and the support she gave me has given us a deep respect for each other.

You're doing the right thing, I know it's hard but he'll appreciate you more in the long run.

Gymbob · 18/07/2015 23:31

my God, I can only imagine the pain you are feeling.

of course you are doing exactly the right thing, he will always remember how supportive you were, but will not appreciate it fully until he has done it and has children of his own.

Rest assured, you are a fine example of a mum, doing exactly what a good mum should. its the shit mothers who are saying, I wish you weren't going.

ssd · 18/07/2015 23:46

I would be exactly the same as you!

I left home and travelled abroad for years at 18, I didnt think for a second how much my mum must have missed me, I was the youngest in the family by far.

Now mum isn't here, I can't ask her what she felt like at the time. But knowing her, she'd say she was happy for me.

BackforGood · 18/07/2015 23:55

I think any of us would feel the same as you, but I hope - like you - I would be really positive about their adventure when talking to them.

I did a fair bit of travelling when I was a teen and early 20s - only inter-railing in Europe and travelling around Australia, but I was lucky enough that my Mum waved us off with all her love and wishes that we had a great time. I never knew that presumably she felt incredibly worried about me. Of course then, there was no contact - internet hadn't been invented (well, wasn't in common use), mobile phones hadn't been invented. They got the odd postcard about 3 weeks after we sent it and we didn't know that X or Y had happened so we should contact home (from a phone box in a foreign country) to reassure them we were OK. It's so much easier now you can see pictures, and stay in touch in so many different ways with social media and the way technology has come on.

Yes, you'll miss him. Yes that's very normal. You should also be proud that you've raised this strong, independent, responsible young man. He'll have a ball Smile

BitOfFun · 19/07/2015 00:03

It's our job to release them into the wild; well done you! Of course you won't stop worrying, but you must be bursting with pride too. Just think how great it is that you've got a young man with an adventurous spirit who isn't sitting on his arse playing computer games on your dollar. You've hit the parent jackpot!

dexter73 · 19/07/2015 08:09

I'm in the same boat. My dd is off in 3 weeks to Australia with her boyfriend. I don't think it has hit me yet!

Original poster
furrylittlecreatures · 19/07/2015 10:13

Thank you so much for those lovely messages. I am crying reading them Smile I am determined to do that bright cheery wave off the day they do go and that he will never know how this feels. You are right they will have a ball and I did hit the parent jackpot I don't know how he turned out so well. It's much more by luck than anything else when I look at his siblings I can tell you!!! Wink the only comments they have made is the start of the bickering over who gets his room

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