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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

Original poster

Homework

15 replies

Lisa78 · 05/05/2004 20:43

AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! Bloody teenagers!
DS1 is 15, in the first year of his GCSE's. He is obviously smart, getting A's and B's all the time but ALL his teachers say its frustrating because he gets these grades "coasting" and if he made an effort, he would get all A* 's
I've just had a row with him cos he has, once again, spent about 15 seconds on his homework; at his last parent evening, I raised the brief homework times, his teachers put it this way
"If I set him a half hour homework and it takes him 10 minutes, then he owes me 20 minutes - if he has done his best with the homework, then he can be revising or reading ahead"

I know I shouldn't be complaining in a way, since he is doing pretty well, but its so frustrating when he could do brilliantly but is too pigging lazy

Anyone got a teenager like mine?

OP posts:

hercules · 05/05/2004 20:46

What about a big bribe for results?

Hulababy · 05/05/2004 20:48

No, but I teach some

Well done to him on his grades so far BTW but yes, it must be very frustrating for you and his teachers that he is coasting. Does he have any odea on what he wants to do after GCSEs? If he can work on that it may help him to focus on what grades he needs, and how best to achieve it?

Did his teachers give you some pointers of how to help matters?

I gather he is not completing his homework fully or properly? Can you ask for him to go on a temporary, voluntary homework report? So both you can record how much homework is set (should be record in some form of organiser/diary?) and then signed by teacher to say if done/handed in and to what extent.

Original poster

Lisa78 · 06/05/2004 18:51

Thanks Hula, unfortunately he IS completing his homework, but he does it so quickly he gets a B for it, where his teachers say with a bit more effort it would be an A*. And his writing is shocking - this drives me mad, he CAN write neatly but it takes him longer. I keep telling him that when they mark his exam papers, they are so busy that if they can't read it, they'll just give him 0 - and that his teachers make more effort than that and also are familiar with his writing.
The teachers did try a bit of giving him it back to do neatly, but it had no real effect.
TBH, I don't think there is a real solution, it just drives me mad when I see his friends struggling to get a C and working really hard (and ringing him up at all hours for help!) and he justs coasts along with no effort and settles for good when it could be excellent
I grounded him for a month recently for various offences, incl homework and studying sloppiness and it worked for a while but nothing sustainable.

He wants to be an international filmstar, barrister or psychiatrist at the moment! Though even that pissed me off, cos when I said about the grades, he said if he didn't get the grades he could be a solicitor or a psychologist instead....

He'd like to go to Oxford - a teacher told him he was clever enough but he would have to work, but again, he'll settle for any university

Anything to avoid putting in a bit more bloody effort. Its so sad cos its such a waste. Right, have made myself really mad again, think I will go yell at him

OP posts:

Hulababy · 06/05/2004 19:34

Lisa - your boy needs to know more about barrisetrs and solicitors You need EXACTLY THE SAME GRADES to be a solicitor or a barrister. It is the same course. In fact a barrister course is a year shorter! My DH is a solicitor, as are other friends, and two others friends a barrister. My sister is currently completing her solicitors exam after graduating from law last year. If he wants more info on the courses and differences please ask. BTW, my sister required 2 As and a B at A-level as a minimum requirement for Law. It is a very competitive course and grades are high. And you can't rely on predicted grades either as if you miss the grades it is likely you don't get in!

Oddly, my other friend is a trainee pshycologist. It is a long haul and requires a lot of very hard work to get to the end. My friend should hopefully complete her final training this summer. In fact she has been posting on Mn recently for help with her final research She is also very bright and required high grades.

So, really a warning to your DS about this.

But, if he does want more info on any of this, or preicted grades required please ask and I will see what I can find out for you

hmb · 06/05/2004 19:50

He'll need damn good grades to be a psychologist as well!

I teach a lot of kids like this. What they don't seem to realise is that if they want a top notch job, with lots of cash, there will be a lot of competition to get those jobs. Id A levels are all the same, then universities will look at the quality of the GCSE grade to get distinguish between candidates. Nowerdays I would imagine that Oxford would be looking for 9 A* s and then 3 As. And even then some kids will not get in.

To get into physiotherapy you now need two As and a B at a level (my niece tried two years ago). Speach therapy, same grades. And these are not well paid jobs! Looking at law and he needs to work his butt off

I've lost count of the teenagers who think they will walk out of school and get a £50K job without doing any work to get it. I blame Popstar myself (God I sound like my Mother!)

Flip · 06/05/2004 19:58

I know it's frustrating Lisa78, but my sister was very brainy and my mum pushed her. But she ended up depressed and dropped out of school. IMO kids should be allowed to be kids. They've got the rest of their lives to achieve things and he'll do it when he's ready. Dh is really clever and he couldn't be bothered at school. I've lost count of the number of qualification he's achieved since leaving. If it's making him miserable and you stressed, is it worth worrying about? All GCSE's are good for is getting you to do A-Levels and he might settle down then.

mambo · 06/05/2004 20:07

I'm really complaining today. My ds is only in y7 and is exactly the same as yours . he is very bright but sees homework as something to be done asap and doesn't spend any time reading over his work and his writing is awful too. I think it is sheer laziness . He knows he can get by doing the bare minimum and least effort and still get good marks but he could get better.

Flip · 06/05/2004 20:10

Mambo, Lisa78, were either of you interested in doing your homework to perfection at age fiftten?

mambo · 06/05/2004 20:14

is it a gender thing . My dd's are younger but they have all the gel pens and rulers out etc and feel proud of their work. I can't remember how enthusiastic I was

hmb · 06/05/2004 20:22

I was! How sad does that make me??? And when I was in the sixth form I would go in at lunch time and do extra work! I loved doing tests and exams as well. Dd seems to be the same as me, but ds will be another kettle of fish I think.

SoupDragon · 06/05/2004 20:27

I was a coaster. Never needed to work hard so I didn't. I could have got better A level grades if I'd tried but I didn't want to go to Uni and had a job lined up so didn't reallyput my heart into them.

Hulababy · 06/05/2004 20:28

hmb - I was sad too I always did my homework and was quite concerned about it; always tried to do my best at school and was really scared of getting into trouble!

Mind you, DH was even worse tha n me. I remember him missing nights out with us all at soxth form to finish his work.

mambo · 06/05/2004 20:36

Well I suppose I was a goody goody too at school. But once I hit college and uni beer and boys contributed to my 2:2. My dh was a bad boy and regularly played truant and he now earns 70k and didn't go to college.

Original poster

Lisa78 · 07/05/2004 09:31

Flip, no, I lazed about at school and concentrated on my social life! I got decent A levels though and have 2 degrees (greedy) but I could have done so much better
I suppose thats what pisses me off so much, he is making the same mistake I did

OP posts:

Hulababy · 07/05/2004 09:33

Other than keep nagging occassionally, and teachers doing it, not sure there is much more you can do. Show him the info on here about his so-called easier options - which most definitly aren't - and see if it helps.

Flip