If you have a teen who needs to carry life saving medicine - over her please, I need advice!

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Ds is 14, has to carry inhalers and epi pens. Was diagnosed when he was 2 and it was MUCH easier when he was tiny and I was in control of bags.

Whole different ball game now and he's rebelling. I have to remind him every fucking time he goes out and I'm usually met with ' I don't need it, I'm only going just down the road.'

How the hell do I get it into his head that he MUST carry them whenever he leaves the house? He has had to pop out just now and I reminded him about his epi pens and he out and out lied and said he had them. I called him back and checked his bag and they weren't even in there.

I've told him were going to have a chat when he gets back. Unfortunately he has to go out or I would normally ground him.

I'm usually the sort of parent that lets him learn by his mistakes- except that's not an option in this case.

Anyone have any words of wisdom? I need him to listen but equally not scare him so much he'll never sleep again

Matron gave the whole 'this can save your life, failure to carry it could easily result in death' talk.

My house mistress had a two pronged assault;

Your allergy is part of you, you cannot control its presence but you can limit how it controls you. Your medication is part of that management, do you want to be needlessly controlled?

And

I know you are capable of taking responsibility for your medications and allergy management, but if you don't honour that responsibility you will not be permitted to leave the school grounds without a responsible adult (I was at boarding school). She meant it, I never deliberately defied her.

In addition though, she did a huge amount of work teaching strategies for when I was in social situations. Confidence is critical to staying safe, even if it does mean you sometimes stand apart.

I have left a message with the nurse that deals with allergies in the area,let's hope she's good.

I have also said if he needs a new bag( to feel trendy/confident) I'm more than happy to stump up for it)

One other thing that bizzarly really helped, was whan I had to explain my meds kit to a friends mum and her response 'well that must really suck' - complete validation of my negative feelings for once instead of only hearing variations of 'you just have to deal with it'.

Yes I had to deal with it, I still do and always will, but occasionally it's nice to hear that my frustration is justified.

One last thought, I know you have linked to a groovy bag for it, but would it be possible to store in a pencil case as I know you can get very on trend (as my teens would say) pencil cases, maybe from a brand he likes? I used to use a pencil case for my insulin pen and stuff, I adore stationery though so it was a nice excuse to buy posh ones

I will admit, I even considered letting DS have a Call of Duty bag for his stuff, even though he isn't allowed the game yet! Luckily we compromised

I just remembered also, my consultant advised giving them something else to "rebel" over, shoes, haircuts etc, to allow them to push the boundaries but not on something life threatening. I don't think it was useful advice for me as I'm very lax about stuff like that anyway (see user name!) but I thought I'd mention it...

Last post I promise!

I also remembered, one of my DDs, (the one who felt a bit embarrassed about being different), one of the people involved in her care, arranged for her to, not "mentor" but be a sort of role model for younger DC at a supoort group we went to. She got to talk to them about she carried and used her equipment etc. She liked that as it made her feel very grown up. I think she was a bit younger, maybe yr 7, at the time, but if you have anything like that it might be worth it.

I will stop now! That post was very badly worded too, apologies. Hope it made sense.

Not at all,thanks for your suggestions.

I'm going to suggest a pencil case type bag to him.

Bloody kids

I just asked my 14 year old for recommendations when I mentioned jack wills she looked at my pityingly so this is clearly not trendy anymore

She suggests a "hype" bag, I'm not even going to google as they probably cost a bomb, like everything else she likes...but for what it's worth...

Good luck!

When was his last reaction? How many times has he used epipens/inhalers (is it an adrenalin inhaler?) since his bad reaction 12 years ago?

Is there any chance that he could've grown out of the allergies?

If he can be allergy tested again, either he will have grown out of it or he will react and it might just remind him how bad it could be. Win win!!

No he won't grow out of it.

He uses his inhalers daily. He's never used the epi pen thank goodness!

Will google hype bags...

www.topman.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?Ntt=hype+bags&storeId=12555&productId=18230361&urlRequestType=Base&categoryId=&langId=-1&productIdentifier=product&catalogId=33056

Looks hopeful!

Even if you think he wont grow out of it, it is worth getting him tested again just to reinforce the seriousness. I was advised this with ds at 12. He had actually grown out of his peanut allergy but not treenuts or sesame

I looked through my fingers there but that seems a fairly reasonable priced item as teenagers go...hopefully that or a similar new bag could be an incentive, fingers crossed for you.

I think if you can both think of it as a reward system for being sensible enough to remember to take it, rather than a punishment system for not taking it, it might be helpful. God knows we don't need any more excuses to argue with our teens!

They won't test again as he won't grow out of it, so unless they get to a point some time in the future where he can be de sensitised he'll be allergic.

Yes, I'm willing to pay twenty quid for an over priced, crappy bag if he'll take it

Sorry I cannot give any practical or constructive advice however I am a researcher working with pediatric allergy and asthma consultants and nurses and I can reassure (!) you that self-management of allergies (and asthma) is a big problem for healthcare professionals working with this age group - so you are not alone! Unfortunately teenage brains are wired to take risks and think irrationally... which is completely at odds with good self-management of a disease! Does your son see an allergy nurse? Could you speak to her about helping your son take greater responsibility? Allergy UK and Anaphylaxis UK websites might also be useful as they have some info for young people about managing their condition.
Good luck

Thanks Dr still waiting to hear back from the nurse I phoned yesterday hopefully that will help.

It must be a teenage thing, he's had this for as long as he can remember.

For my son, it's a trendy eastpak rucksack, with a front section, in which goes epipen and inhalers. Epipen is in a pencil case, he knows it's there, he always goes out with his bag. Whether he remembers how the damned thing works is another matter entirely. Will have that conversation tomorrow, he's gone to NCS and says it's better than he expected. Hurray!

my Dad's uses a yellow cross bag as well which he clips to his belt or pops into his rucksack. He has a bright yellow bag as he realises if he is out on his own it's important friends or even strangers know he has medication with him although he refuses to wear a medic alert wristband any more.

sorry ds not dad's

The 'strap pack' on here looks quite good for teen boys?
www.alwaysreadthelabel.info

Two of my DSs have T1 diabetes so have to carry insulin pens and hypo treatments everywhere they go.
I asked my 15 year old for his advice on this and he said he remembers feeling self conscious for a while and still does a bit when he meets new friends. But he says it's important all his close friends know a bit about it and if they were in any way judgemental or teasing, they wouldn't be his friends.

Marking my place. DS is only 8, so no issues atm, but I know this is coming up!

how about a hype pencil case?