Should I have told my 14 yr old about smear test ?

[Debbieandeva]

Good morning all :), just a quick question as I have a social worker question me on the fact that I have told my 14 year old daughter about smear tests and how important they are , said social worker seemed to think I had done a terrible thing ?? And I was wrong to have told my daughter at all ?, the reason I had told my daughter about smear test is that she was having the HPV vaccine and that she would still have to have the test done when she gets older , do you think I have done the wrong thing as I believe teenage girls should be educated about this now as maybe it will prevent them from getting full blown cervical cancer , any way I would like your views as now I feel like I have been a bad mother telling my daughter this .

I think it would be poor sex ed/parenting for a 14yo not to know about smear tests.

Plenty of 14yos are sexually active and they should know about condoms/hpv/smears and cervical cancer.

It depends on why the social worker is involved, tbh. You say you're undergoing a parenting assessment? This is obviously the tip of the iceberg.

What archaic world is this sw living in?! I'd be questioning her skills as a sw tbh.

If she's having the HPV vaccination this was a wholly appropriate and sensible conversation between mother and daughter. A very wise parenting decision on your behalf. Keeping young adults in the dark about such a subject would be very silly

Plus I'm assuming school will also be educating them all on this subject too...seeing that they're at the age to be having this vaccine

My DD had her vaccine last year aged 12 (youngest in year, others were 13). I didn't explain it in great detail but I did tell her there's a test they do every few years that can pick up cells in the early stages, and it would still be wise to have that done, even though she was having the vaccine that would greatly reduce risks.

Your DD is two years older, and I can't see what you've done wrong - it's part of life growing up and finding out these things happen, also something to potentially protect her which every parent wants for their children. I know my DD and her friends talk about lots of things, so for most, if you don't tell them someone else will.

Just looked at an NHS guide issued by the school to my DD when she had her HPV - it says "you will still need to have smear tests (cervical screening that picks up early signs of changes in the cervix) when you are older. The NHS and school don't think this is inappropriate - if no one explains to them what a smear test is, most can google it if they really want.

Eh? I had more or less the same conversation with my daughter when she had the jabs. It's a natural part of the conversation of those needles

What did she actually say?

SW is nuts.

Two things.
Age doesn't prevent children learning about cancer. Some 14 year olds sadly know all about it.
We teach sex Ed to junior school children, hopefully way in advance of them needing to have any practical experience of it. So why not talk about other matters well in advance?

I'd be surprised at a 14yo not knowing about smear tests. I was 10 when I learned from a let's-talk-about-puberty type book.

My 14 year old SON has known about smears since he was about 10 or 11. I can't see the problem

I support the pp who have urged caution here. There is clearly an issue in the family for a SW to be involved and asking such questions.

I had to have my first smear at 15 due to a health complication. Why on earth shouldn't she know? Its the same as eye tests or hearing exams!

We teach about smears during social education from 14 years old. We have various bits of equipment that the kids can look at.

I would be surprised at a sw being concerned about this in the context of a mum explaining the necessity of smears.

What did the social worker actually say? And although it seems appropriate to have discussed the smear test, I imagine it would be possible to do it inappropriately (maybe a graphic description of a particularly uncomfortable experience for example). Without us being there it's hard to say whether the SW was at fault here.

Why would a sw have a problem with this? My DD is 13 (nearly) and knows I have them. Again, she had the vaccine and there is even something in the leaflet about 'still have to have smears'. SW is talking rubbish,, sorry. I think my 11 year old son also knows what they are. He was at t he GP with me when I made an appt for mine and he asked what it was so I think I explained in easy terms.