Options on how much you give your teenager a week allowance?

[Melaniet10]

Hello,

I have a teenage son age 17 going to be 18 in a few months time.
He goes to college 4 days a week and plays semi professional sport for a team most weekends. We have agreed that if he commits to the sport 100% and attends training and games on the weekend we will give him an allowance of 40 quid a week as he would be unable to get a part time job. the sport isn't sponsored and we pay around 450-850 quid for away tournaments and has 2 each year. We always have food in the house for him so he doesn't need to buy lunch or any travel cost as his college is up the road, he does have a girlfriend who doesn't live in the same city and spends most of his money travelling to see her 4 hours away or paying for her to come to stay with us in london and taking her out for dinners at restaurants and he complains that he is poor! We don't feel like the allowance is working out and is manipulating the situation by not going to training sometimes to see his gf. He does not help out around the house and has be to be told to do basic chores like picking up after himself. Is this allowance too much? What do people give their 17 year olds??
Any help would be great!
Thanks

Sorry to sound hard, but if he has time to travel 4 hours a week to see a girlfriend, he has time to get a job.

We were in a similar situation with my eldest at 17. We were paying a couple of thousand a term for dance and singing lessons and travel to dance etc for her and giving an allowance on top. I wanted her to get a small job to help a bit but nothing was forthcoming and money went nowhere. In the end I stopped the allowance altogether and refused to dish out money for anything except the dance lessons. She quite soon got a small job after that, and has saved hard into the bargain towards her future (off to London in Sept).

In retrospect I was making life a bit too easy for her and it wasn't doing her any favours. I also insisted she helped towards the dance costs. Immediately she valued it so much more and worked much harder at it. She's really glad looking back that we gave her a bit of a push.

So you are buying his girlfriend a limo ride to eat in fancy meals in restaurants !

Are you going to buy them a luxury holiday too ?

At his age of course he should be doing chores round the house & garden

At his age of course he should have a paid part time job & a volunteer job

A job is not just about money
It is about good time keeping
Working with other people
Managing your own money, which includes saving
Respect for others

Thank you very much for the response ! This is so good to get others thoughts on this.

180 pounds a month?????
My 17 yo gets 60 a month and that has to pay for her casual clothes and all outings apart from school related stuff and shoes.

He is VVU to complain.

Mine is 16 and gets 50 pounds a month. From that she has to pay for clothes, toiletries and outings. We pay for school-related expenses, also dance and music lessons.

I wouldn't be happy about paying for the girlfriend's travel or meals out.

Mine is 16 and gets £30 a month, but I pay for all clothes, toiletries, school/educational expenses and outings with family (doesn't tend to go out with friends). He probably won't get a part-time job for a good few years as he has some SN but he gets some payments anyway which help make up for that.

Mine is 16, she get £40 per month plus I save £30 per month which she asks for every few months to pay for clothes and shoes for college. She tends to spend Christmas and birthday money on clothes and makeup as well.
She is 17 this summer so will be expected to at least get a Christmas job but hopefully she will find part time work.
I have the argument from her that she doesn't have time for a job because of studying and other commitments. However, if she can watch Dance Moms and The Kardashians for two hours a day she has time to work.

Mine get no allowance as we can't afford it. We pay for activities etc and for treats such as going to cinema etc. However, both are under 16.

You sound generous, but you can't expect to 'pay' for him to attend sports practises. Surely at 17, that's up to him. If he wasn't attending regularly, I would stop paying regularly for the away tournaments.

My dd is just 16 ,she has CFS and so is unable to get a PT job like her brother did around that age - we are not giving her a set amount each month but she gets between £150- £200 ,but that is mainly because we don't want her to be massively disadvantaged due to her illness . If you can afford it and he's not just 'wasting' the money it doesn't really matter how much you give - I know both of my dc are good savers .

Dd1 17 gets £20 a week as long as she does the ironing. I also pay for her monthly bus pass to get to college at £50. She gets 100 a month from her dad (my ex). She pays for all her own clothes and toiletries, any food she buys out, going out with friends etc.

At 17 almost 18 he should be earning some money !
I don't know what sort of sport he is doing but is there an opportunity to do some work there ? One of my nephews works occasionally in the hospitality suite of a premier league football ground, the other acts as a steward at a County Rugby ground.