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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

dd13 and her friends

3 replies

xyx · 12/05/2015 22:50

I wish I could help but I have no real answers. A boy in her class likes dd. She loves his company, but she 'likes' a boy of nearly 15 (first I heard of this was today..) Anyway, the younger one appears to have taken umbrage and he, along with a large group of her friends, gave her the cold shoulder today. One girl later said it was just a 'joke' but dd is upset. She says they won't be her friend if she chooses this older boy over them. She just wants to be friends with all of them and says she doesn't want to 'go out with' this older one, she's not ready for that. That's a relief! I've suggested she have a quiet day tomorrow avoiding them if she wants to, or speaking to the ones she wants to when she's up to it. In the longer term, thinking about finding some other, less judgmental friends. I know this is common enough stuff, but we've probably got a few more years of this sort of thing to come! Also, I'm just uneasy about a Y10 boy being friends with a Y8 girl. Apparently he does have friends of his own age. Just tell me I'm being paranoid! Does anyone have any other suggestions? I feel I'm not really saying the right things...?

OP posts:
FairPhyllis · 12/05/2015 22:55

I think the suggestion of finding new friends in the long term is a good one. It's bizarre that they can be turned against her by the younger boy - what's up with that? Are they actually jealous of her do you think?

xyx · 12/05/2015 23:01

Yes I think so. I don't know what the dynamic is here. I had thought she was a leader of sorts among her friends, but who knows? Who'd be 13 again!!

OP posts:
drycoughssuck · 13/05/2015 13:37

I think it's totally normal that kids have crushes & friendships across year groups.

If this happened in (yr8) DD's friendship circle, the kids would be sticking up for the interests of their mate (yr8 boy). It's a kind of tribal thing. Will blow over, ime.

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