Money for sixth former

[Claybury]

I give my DS (17) £40 a month. He doesn't wear uniform for school, so I sometimes buy shoes and jeans, and I'll buy necessities like toiletries and school equipment.
Other than a little bit of babysitting he doesn't work or do any activities/ sport - although he does work hard for this A'levels.
He is saying £40 isn't enough as he wants to buy some summer clothes. I want him to think about getting a job ( there are opportunities round here for those teens that can be bothered ) so I am refusing to hand over any extra cash.
Is this reasonable ? He has never looked for a job and I feel the only way to make him do something is to starve him of funds. I have also said if he had a poorly paid job I will supplement the wages.

Yes he is old enough to get a job and it will stand him in good stead for whatever he wants to do next in life e.g. personal statement for Uni, part time job whilst at college etc. It will teach him about the value of money and the practicalities of payslips, national insurance, tax etc and maybe even logging of hours/ timesheets/ clocking in.
Just be sensible about how many hours per week is reasonable without taking away too much study time.

My DD is just turning 16 in July but already works as a swim teacher for 4.5 hours per week (she trains as a competitive swimmer for 20 hrs per week outside of school). I give her 30 per month, and cover phone/ bus pass and essential shoes/ winter coat/ basic jeans but all the rest of her social life, birthday presents for friends, and clothes spending comes out of her allowance plus her earnings and she has had to learn to budget accordingly.

Definitely old enough to get a job and still get good A Level results. Both my DSs and all their friends managed to do this.

When mine started sixth form I worked out an allowance that had to cover pretty much everything from phone to clothing. DS2 is 17 and gets £75 a month.
He also has a part time job, only a few hours a week, but I wouldn't dream of docking his allowance because of it.

Have told my son that I will not be subsidising his summer. He is a football ref so has been working over the winter but the season has ended.

He has a paper round (about £75 per month) and £20 per month from me. I also pay for his mobile phone.

I pay for toiletries and for what clothes I feel are necessary.

Thank you for the replies.
He is adamant that he shouldn't have to work for what he calls small reward. Obviously he has a lot to learn in life, ie that it is hard to earn money ! So the only way I feel the message will get through to him is by starving him of funds. He has never even tried to look for a job. He thinks we are being mean for the sake of it, because we could afford to fund his summer.

Our kids get no allowance from the day they turn 16. We expect them to get a job.

DD works 1 day a week, plus works as waiting staff on some weekends. Earns about £300 a month all together. We pay for her phone. I also get to treat her with clothes, but there is no expectation from her. I have said I will kit her out before uni.

As others have said, a job is good for their self esteem, and independence. And for future job prospects - who would you rather employ, someone who has held down a job or couple of jobs throughout college and uni, or someone who has never worked?

Mine only get a basic £1 per yr of age each month - so, at 17yrs old, get £17 a month from me. If they want more they go and earn it.

ds worked all through the 6th form (had started on a weekly paper round before that) and dd (who is 16 and in Yr11) has had a regular babysitting job since her paper round stopped.

I think you are already being more than generous.

Both my teens get £50pm, but I am happy to up their allowance if they work for it. DS1 will be poo picking my horse paddocks for petrol money next year

My parents gave me an allowance of £20 per month during sixth form as well as paying for phone contract and necessary clothes/toiletries etc. This was as they preferred me to concentrate on studying rather than working which I was grateful for (especially come results day!). Among my group of friends this amount varied a lot though - some received none or a lot less from their parents and were expected to work, whilst others received a lot more from theirs. I think the amount you give your DS sounds fair OP!

Sorry, that was meant to be £20 per week*

Hello Claybury

A part time job is more than just earning money

It teaches you about time keeping, working with other people, budgeting and is great to put onto CV

I would also recommend volunteering, not earning money, but an opportunity to learn same skills & great to add onto CV

Thank you all - that's unanimous and I agree with you all. DS is doing the teenage thing of trying to tell me none of his mates have jobs and all have much bigger allowances.

Also I agree with volunteering. I would raise his allowance if he were genuinely doing voluntary work.

All bar one of my dd's friends have a job (her parents give her everything she wants so she doesn't need a job!). My dd has 2 and is still studying hard for her A levels. I think it does them the world of good to realise how hard you have to work to get that small reward.

Yes, get him out to work, at 17 he should be earning his own money.
My DD 16 has a half day Saturday job which she will keep doing even through GCSE's.

Personally I would give more tbh. I understand he needs to work ethos but £40 a month now is very little if he needs to pay for transport, phone and clothing from it. It's not like he has extra going out money on £10 a week.

I would work out and look at local costs. Ie is a return bus/ train fair to next town is £6 like near my parents, then that's only leaving him £4 a week for everything else. So I would give enough that allows for travel a few times a week, a bit for basic food/ drink out, plus some for clothing each month. Plus £10 extra a week for whatever he decides. He will still need a job to afford to 'go out out with friends' or buy expensive labels.

Per week at guess:
£10 travel
£5 clothing ( will have to save each week to buy most items)
£10 - mobile/ food/ drink/ random

So that's £100 a month

Artandco- I pay for phone & travel here is free so it's not way off then?

I'd do what you are planning, because it is not going to do him any favours if you find his loafing about!
Not having enough money to go out or buy the clothes he wants (rather than mess) can be an excellent motivator.

Ah ok if you pay for all travel and phone I would maybe add £5 a week to allow for a few more basic clothing purchases. £20 a month will only get a few basic tshirts or cheap flip flops for example, no luxuries.

And maybe give him chance to earn extra from you sometimes ie can he babysit younger siblings

I give my 17yo £150 a month. He buys clothes and anything else, like nights out etc. All his friends get the same.

i pay for mine 17 year old's phone, her gym, her swimming
she also has a job, she pays for her driving lessons
and we are her taxi service, picking her up from her job two nights a week.

all of my teens have worked since they were old enough to, I am very proud of them.
I did the same as a teen.

does he do chores for you op?