DD and starting a new sixth form?

[Sara155]

Hi everyone,
I would appreciate some advice from parents who have been through the same situation or similar.

Basically dd16, has been greatly unhappy in her current school since around last year or so and has continually voiced her desire to change schools. Seeing as last year was the start of a crucial two years and a move would have been detrimental to her education, we said we would review it come sixth year (thinking the idea would die out). Well it's now approaching the end of year 11 and dd is still adamant, if not more so than before, that she wants to move. She has had a tough time this year with her friendship group, bitchy girls, massive fall outs (all the private school cliques). I'd been dismissive with the idea in the past but for the past few months I've started to question maybe it is better for her to get a fresh start as there has been countless times when she has came home in tears about feeling isolated and not really feeling like she belongs in her friendship group or the school at all really.

I've had endless conversations with her that friendship groups change in sixth form and she'll find herself talking to people she's never really talked to before and that moving isn't always the better option and it could be the same if not worse else were.

She won't listen and says that anything other than her current school will be better.

She is a bright, athletic, confident girl and expected to do well in her GCSE's, so while I don't doubt she'll make friends, I just wonder is she really better off at another school.

A few questions; where the hell do I start? We have made a list of a few schools she's interested in but have missed the open days/nights, so is it possible to arrange an appointment to be shown round this late on?
Secondly, roughly when should application forms be sent in, obviously we have no GCSE results yet, but surely you have to apply to show interest? Finally, I would really appreciate experiences with changing schools and how your child coped, settled in quickly, made friends etc ? I've heard that changing schools can be the making of some children.

Sorry for the length and thanks in advance :)

Your best bet is to ring to make an appt with the schools and colleges have several open days.
I'm not sure why you want her to stay. You seem to be scared of change not her.
Change is good. It will prepare her for uni.
College will do even more so. 6th form tends to be school with a sofa.
She will be fine.

As this was muted in Yr10, I'm not sure why you didn't take advantage of the open evenings in the Autumn?
That said, I understand there is a lot of movement - in terms of accepting places and places becoming available - on results day, but you want to have made up your mind as to the best options before that. I presume at this time of year your best option is to look at the websites of local possibilities, then contact them and ask if it's possible to have a look round - of course, exam period might not be the most convenient time....

Thanks for the replies! It's not that I am afraid of the change, it's that I am worried that she has her head in a bubble that changing schools will be a completely fresh start and that'll she'll make friends immediately and fit right in from the start. And while I can't see a reason why that shouldn't happen, I feel like it hasn't set into her head yet, that there could be a similar set up at a new school (bitchiness, fake friends etc). But I also understand that she will be 17 in a few months and essentially the penultimate decision is down to her and I can only guide her.

I will ring up the schools today and request info etc.
Thanks again :)

I went to a new sixth form, having been quite unhappy at secondary school and loved it :) It was a great chance to make new friends and leave behind petty bitchy girls I'd had to endure for 5 years. It felt much more grown up to be at a sixth form college and I was heaps happier.

Your biggest problem is that you've missed the application deadlines, but you should still be able to find prospectuses online. Look at the requirements for the Alevels she wants to do, the results, and the application process. Then ring them up and ask if they would consider a late application. If she's on track for good GCSEs it's quite possible they will. If she's at private school at the moment then I'm guessing you could consider private or state, which should widen your options. They should allow you to have a look round at a different time if you want given you've missed the open evenings. Or some schools may have summer open evenings targetted at the current Y10s which you could go to.

I changed schools for sixth form, best thing I ever did, left behind the bullies who had made my life miserable for years and concentrated on studying with equally motivated peers. Did well and it stood me in good stead for uni.

I don't understand why you haven't done something earlier.
She is 16 - she could just leave school and there is nothing you can do about it.

But if she is inline to get good results, then lots of places will consider her if they have room. So you need to phone around and ask for visits and to apply.
I would strongly consider Sixth From colleges as a very different and more mature environment alternative (and lots of pupils from our local High achieving Private schools go to our local ones).

It could just be that her year at school are particularly bitchy, or she just doesn't fit in. Sometimes just moving can be a "magic" cure. Of course other times it isn't and the issues travel with you, but its worth a chance.

I wouldn't worry about having left it too late - 6th form entry is very fluid as it depends largely on GCSE results. If she gets a good set of results you can leave it as late as August (but not ideal for the nerves!)

Someone I know moved their daughter literally the week before 6th form started - having a clean sweep of A*'s opened every door to her of course.

Why would friendship groups change in year 12 if you're at the same school with the same kids and same teachers? Not really sure of your logic tbh. Agree you should also look at sixth form colleges though - everyone will be new.

You have left it VERY late though as others have said. Applications tend to have to be in in the Autumn of year 11.

The other thing you want to think about quickly is how much notice you need to give her current school - if it's a term's notice you may already be comitted to paying the autumn term fees. But possibly not if it's a half term's notice.

The reason why nothing was done sooner, was because a) she couldn't have moved last year or this as it would have been extremely disruptive during her GCSE course and b) I've wanted her main priority to be focused on school work and studying and not to deviate her away from it.
I didn't think it would really matter until the results were it as that is predominately what the schools base their decisions on, so applications could be forwarded until then.

titchy in my experience (which yes could be very different to what hers would be) friendship groups DO change in sixth form. People leave and new people join and with small A-level classes you get to chat to people that you wouldn't have got the chance to before.

Thanks for the personal, positive experiences! They made me feel a bit more confident about a move :)

I think people were saying why couldn't you have looked at and applied for 6th form places earlier, not why couldn't you have moved her earlier

Schools and colleges don't base their decisions on who to admit to the 6th form based on their ACTUAL results - that would be far too late. Decisions are based on predicted results, and for state colleges other published criteria.

I think sixth form colleges usually make offers, a bit like universities do. So you need to apply, and then your offer is confirmed once your GCSE results are out. You can't normally apply after getting your results, but they might well accept a late application this spring.

Some schools can be rather bad at informing their pupils about sixth form options other than their own sixth form, so she may not have had the encouragement to look at her options and to what's actually best for her. Schools which are nearby to popular sixth form colleges often lose a lot of their best pupils at 16, so they don't want to encourage them to go.

Very few schools in this area have a sixth form so almost everyone moves. They disperse to different colleges according to preference and meet new people. I see no reason why it wouldn't be a good idea for your DD providing she moves to a sixth form college. Moving to the sixth form of a different school would be much tougher - established friendship groups and all that.
I would get on the phone to all possible contenders and visit them asap. I bet she can find a place at another one especially if she is predicted good GCSE grades.

I agree with SecretSquirrels that it can be tougher changing schools. DD1 changed schools for sixth form and found that she never established the deeper friendships in the new school. Dont get me wrong, she did make friends but they lacked that continuity she would have got by staying in the same school.

Something else to consider: DD found that she had missed out on some of the conversion to A level courses which was done after GCSEs were finished but before the end of the year. We got her some head start books but I dont think that she made as much of these as she could have done. Also syllabuses were different as she changed exam boards between the schools.

On the whole in hindsight (which of course is 20/20 and rose tinted!) I think that she may have got better grades if she had stayed at her old school.

On the other hand at the time her old school was one of the worst in the country for that year so we may be deluding ourselves!

Sixth form college might be the answer.
DD couldn't wait to get out of her school. She is having a brilliant time at sixth form college. Everyone is new - they are all starting together.

IME you can apply right up till the day you get the GCSE results - especially if you get good grades.

I stayed on at 6th Form and erm no my friendship groups didn't change???

My eldest did a year at 6th Form College and left partly because she chose the wrong subjects and because it wasn't a great college. So dd restarted at a different school 6th form and despite having previously had lots of friendships issues previously it's gone very well. It's much more academic which suits her and she's learnt to be more careful about choosing friendships and not relying on one group etc.

RandomMess i said in MY experience, friendship groups changed when I was at sixth form, I got closer to girls I wouldn't have thought of talking to in my younger years, and pretty much the same for anyone else I've spoken to, not drastically but yeah people got closer and also others distanced themselves. But of course I can't speak for everyone and this will of course may not have been the case in all schools.

I asked dd about college, she said she would prefer the structure of a regular school and doesn't feel she would reach her full potential in an external sixth form, which is true, she does need people to motivate her and sometimes struggles with the self-discipline to work to the level required. I've heard that colleges are a lot more relaxed and independent and the students are left to their own devices the majority of the time.

I rang up the various schools and all said they would send prospectus' and application forms out and to return them asap. The majority said to ring up on the day of results and if her grades are good enough she will be called for an interview. So once the forms are in, she doesn't have to make a final decision until august.

Thanks for the help :)

I'm not sure what you've been told about sixth forms? They mostly run on a very similar basis to sixth forms within schools. About 80% of the normal school hours are timetabled and taught in classes just like school. The rest are free periods spent drinking coffee and chatting studying. They get a form tutor and have registration each day too, just like school. The only real difference I can think of is that they're allowed off site during the day if they want

I just wanted to give you MY experiences that many really didn't. I kept my old groups but also befriended the newbies - most people just carried on though.

I changed schools for sixth form (back in the dark ages ) and I agree with someone upthread - I never made any long-lasting friendships there, in fact I can't remember most of their names now. There were definitely all the pre-existing friendship groups, but all of us newbies just stuck together in our own little group and it worked fine.

I got the grades I needed to get to uni, which I don't think I would have done if I'd stayed in my other school - I left for academic reasons not social ones.