Teen boy, involved with messed up girl, WWYD?

[Chickchickchick]

A girl he knows is a bit messed up. has low self esteem and possibly mental health issues. She's apparently offered sex, no strings, at a party, to ds17, who has therefore dumped his nice GF of six months...i don't think he and GF were having sex although they maybe have.

he's angry with me for warning that she may say no strings but if he has sex with her and has nothing more to do with her she will be hurt and vengeful and she has form for vengeance... i have also talked about respect for women.advice welcome. Thanks.

Your DS dumped his girlfriend so he could pump someone with MH issues?

Have you told him he's being a prick?

First, (before the slating starts, as it will) I'd say congratulations on bringing up a ds who is willing to tell you this. I know my ds wouldn't be this open.

Can you talk to him about why she might have felt the need to do this? Can he see that she has low self esteem? Can he accept that it's probably not simply his amazing body that might have made her think this was a good idea? Does he accept that she's vulnerable and see that he is using her potential mental health issues to get an easy shag and that this is verging on abuse? She may apparently be willing but is he 100% sure she's making a wise decision?

And what about him? Does he have so little respect for himself that he'd sleep with anyone just because it's offered? (Plus pregnancy, VD etc etc)

Maybe gf has been resisting and he thinks this girl is an easier potential conquest. Try to help him see that she may be vulnerable and misguided , the consequences of which could make him open to manipulation and even accusations of him taking advantage.

BTW, Chick I think it's a pity that instead of trying to encourage your ds to have empathy and understanding for this poor girl, your first response is to warn him against the risk of her 'vengeance'.

So much for teaching your ds respect for women.

yes, I have told him it's horrible and his attitude to women stinks. I'm embarrassed. she has done something in the past which i don't want to post about.sorry. i have talked about respect, kindness, responsibility, relationships, love.

Just make sure he uses condoms would be my advice, regardless of whether she says she is on the pill.

Not sure there is much else you can do if he's 17.

She may not even have MH issues; although most people have them anyway.

Warning of her vengeance might be more effective than appealing to reason or morals, esp. with hormonal boy. My tactic would be a simple "This whole situation spells Trouble" and "Here's a pack of condoms".