DD 13 self harming

[Notover13]

Found out today that there are cuts on her lower leg and arm, she won't tell us why she's done it. We're all upset, my poor DH is devastated. Is it ok to go the GP on my own tomorrow to start the process of trying to support her?

Gosh I'm so sorry that you're all having such a rough time. I can't imagine how stressed and upset you must all feel, I hope your daughter is feeling a little bit better (as better as she can be at the moment).
Have you spoken to her about it? Do you know why she has resorted to self harm? Have you suspected this has happened before or is this an isolated incident? Have there been any significant life changes which could have triggered this? Going to the GP is a good idea, however I'm sure he/she will want to speak to your daughter, perhaps alone. Would she feel comfortable going to the doctors?

There's actually another thread about this that you might find helpful.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/teenagers/1788034-Support-thread-for-parents-of-self-harming-depressed-suicidal-teens

We spoke, she doesn't really want to tell us why she did it, but I asked how she felt and she said she felt sad and lonely but I think also there are self esteem and friendship issues too. She doesn't want us to talk to school yet (ironically having to miss a seminar on self harming some time ago due to an orthodontic appointment). No significant life changes. At a total loss. She'll may well have to go to GP but from things I've read, it seems it's ok for me to go 1st and she's on board with that course of action but I wondered about other people's experiences.

Thank you lookatme14, I'll take a look.

This is very upsetting for you of course but it's also something that a lot of teen girls will do at one time or another. It's a way of coping.
From a practical point of view - how deep has she cut? Did she use something relatively clean and are the wounds clean and healing? I would suggest she put something soothing and antiseptic on them if she hasn't already.
By all means talk to your GP, but the person you need most to talk to is her and she won't open up if she thinks you're upset. Be as matter of fact as you can be and try and explore what feelings she had which were managed by the cutting. Then see what can be done to channel that in another way.
There is no need for anybody to be devastated by this. It takes some adjusting to but it's part of teen experience for a lot of girls and it does not mean she wants to harm herself. It means she has feelings she's struggled to process. You may find on talking to her that she has friends or older siblings of friends who she knows have used cutting. There is a tendency for it to be a bit epidemic like unfortunately.
Possibly exercise may help but watch that carefully because it can be abused too. There's also the classic recommendation of wearing a rubber band on your wrist and pinging that when you feel the urge to cut. Not 100% convinced by that tbh but it's often suggested.