13 year old dd feeling excluded - help!

[jsavage39]

I'm new to this so apologies in advance! My 13 year old dd is feeling very excluded tonight. One of her "best friends" is having a sleepover for her birthday tonight. My daughter was not invited yet the rest of the friendship group was. The girl who's birthday it is simply told her "sorry, I can only have a certain amount of people". My daughter came home from school in tears as she only found out about it today. Any advice on how to handle the situation?

Happens so often with teens. My DD had it throughout year 8 and now year 9 .
From what I can gather there is always someone excluded then it switches to someone else its quite brutal!
I don't get involved although sometimes I feel like it! I just listen to DD and encouraged her to a) Act indifferent to the girl.If they know how upset she is some may take advantage of that. b) Encouraged other friendships in and out of school. c) Told her to not contact them as they are likely to pick on desperation to(DD would apologise even if they'd been vile and bend over backwards to fit in with them).
This is upsetting but maybe the girl was genuinely only allowed a certain number and she wasn't as close with party girl!
Have they been bitchy with it?

Thanks for that redwineplease42. They don't appear to have been bitchy and i can understand limiting numbers - that's fair enough. I just find it strange that the parent thought it ok to leave 1 member of the group out yet invite the rest. dd has admitted that they seem to have been drifting apart a little as she is very sporty and they aren't. I think part of the problem is that she really wants a bf and just hasn't found this person yet and had sort of pinned her hopes on these girls. I have done all the things you mentioned and also provided new dvd and chocolate to cheer her up! I suppose i am just looking for confirmation that I'm doing the right thing. Just so hard to see them so upset. Thanks for advice.

Sometimes it is necessary to restrict sleepover numbers, our house can not accommodate too many guests. I insist that we mix sleepover groups to ensure the same person is not left out.Over the years she has been that person but just seems to accept it, she has a rant to me and then tends to float to another friendship group. Half the problem is that kids are so connected to each other nowadays via their phones, so they can see exactly what fun they are missing out on.These holidays have been different because she has fallen out with all her usual friends, apparently she had an argument with one girl and all her friends sided with this girl.The other friendship group live further away from us and are not as readily available.Thank God she has her friends from dance and her old primary school friends.Its not easy being a Mum to a teanager, keep listening and sympathising but sometimes we can not solve every problem. If she's anything like mine, there will be a new drama thrown at you next week and all this hurt will be forgotten.

haha! Too true mumofthemonsters808! who needs soap operas when you live with a teenage girl?! In the past I would try to resolve it but now I have said you either have to tell them that you have been hurt by what's happened and be prepared to deal with the fall out, or just accept it and get on with your own life and just act like it's not that important to you. Your are right about the tech though as I know birthday girls mum is posting pics of them all having fun so that's quite hurtful for my dd. Thanks for all the advice everyone.