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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

teenage D with large breast

39 replies

mumathome1969 · 09/04/2015 22:24

I have a 14 year old D whose boobs have grown dramatically over the last 18 months. As a bravissimo convert myself I eventually took her to a shop to get measured, she absolutely hated it. She was wearing anything from a 34-36 c-dd. She was measured in August 2014 as a 30 G. I was so shocked. Last weekend she informed me that her bras were not right, she had 4 boobs. So they have grown again ! I telephone bravissimo and explained the issue and the lady was so helpful even through my tears. We ordered 30 GG and H to try. My D is horrified at the size of the cups.

I can't put my stress and worry into words. I had large boobs through my teens but not really until about 16 and I was a 30 FF, which increased with age and a resizing at bravissimo. After pregnancy and a lot of weight gain I was 38 J. I had reduction 12 years ago and I have to say it is the best decision I ever made.
I am so worried that D will continue to grow, what do I tell her. She is still continuing with her very active sporting life but I know she is uncomfortable. I am always tell her to put her tops up etc. I have a real problem with large boobs as I hated mine with a passion.

I will happily pay for the reduction and I have told her this a few times but she seems very matter of a fact about them. She only gets upset when she compares herself to her friends who are all tiny and they go clothes shopping. She is happy to wear bikini's but I am reserved about that!!
What advice is there on reductions for teenagers?
When will they stop growing?
She has had her periods now for 18 months but they are every 45 days, she is 5'4 in height but has not got taller for about 6 months.
with thanks a very worried mum of one

OP posts:

cedricsneer · 10/04/2015 21:37

Oh god, my dm was exactly like you. I had (and have) large breasts - she had a reduction on her smaller ones and offered it to me when I was pretty young.

It has taken a lovely dh to untangle the self-loathing that she foisted on me. Don't be like my dm. Don't make her have fittings if she hates them - how incredibly violating - buy her a huge variety of sizes and let her try them on at home. Don't make a big deal about them - in fact don't even mention them. I am sure she knows she can talk to you about them if she needs to. Please don't make her feel grotesque as my dm did me .

Fattycow · 10/04/2015 22:45

Big boobs run in my family as well. I have always learned to be proud of them and view them as a typical family Fattycow thing.
One aunt had them reduced later on in life, as her back hurt a lot. But other than that, we all have got the boobs and it doesn't stop us doing anything. My younger sister is 15 and has the boobs already as well, but that was to be expected and she doesn't mind at all.

Ilovefluffysheep · 11/04/2015 10:32

My dd is 16 and is a 32gg. She has been that size for at least 3 years. Funnily enough in her school uniform she doesn't really look as if she has big boobs, so they're hidden quite well.

She quite likes having a large chest, although does Milan they sometimes make her back ache. Fortunately she has never been bothered about having them measured, or me seeing them (doesn't care about stripping off and showering when I'm in the room).

I'm also a gg, although a much bigger back size. Jealous of her nice boobs compared to my droopy ones though!

Feellikescrooge · 11/04/2015 10:49

My DD2 was stuck at a junction the other day and nobody would let her in so "I did what you do Mum, pulled my top down a bit and the next male driver let me in". I didn't know the kids had noticed. Big boobs have many plus points!

returnofthehumanegg · 11/04/2015 10:54

I had a breast reduction at 18 and now I wish i'd just got better advice on how to dress and some counselling to handle my embarrassment at the attention, though your daughter thankfully sounds more confident. I was relived for quite a while once they were reduced but later on gutted that I couldn't fully breastfeed (though I realise some can). Also meeting people later in life who don't seem in any way hindered by their boobs has made me wish I'd taken the same route as them! I know plenty of people don't regret this op but want to give another possible outcome and agree with others that it's best not to project here ( though I understand your fears) and encourage confidence if possible. It's great your daughters so active.

ragged · 11/04/2015 11:15

If I had mahoosive breasts I'd probably want them reduced, too.

I presume OP has been open about own reduction with her DD hence why they would have discussed it, doesn't have to mean projecting own anxieties. My thinking would be to help my DD be informed about all the possible options for managing a large chest, be enthusiastic and creative in thinking about the options. If the DD herself identifies an actual problem, then support her with the things she wants to try. Reduction doesn't make sense if you haven't tried most everything else first.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans · 11/04/2015 15:24

'Mahoosive breasts'? Really?

GraysAnalogy · 11/04/2015 15:30

What's up with that saying

DealForTheKids · 11/04/2015 15:33

I'm with Ragged. Frankly if the OP has had a reduction and her daughter knows this, it's going to be pretty tricky to go on about self-acceptance without looking like a massive hippocrite! The fact is that whilst we often want our DCs to accept things about themselves (because they are perfect!) if you're totally honest you know you wouldn't have in their shoes.

I am of similar nork and I made my peace with it around the time I stopped wanting to buy everything in Topshop! I'm not sure what to advise, but my mum's attitude ("well they'll shrink and drop by the time you've had kids, so enjoy it while you can") never really helped either. When you're a teenager that seems like a million years away!

HazleNutt · 11/04/2015 19:26

but the daughter does not want a reduction, so it's not a case of changing her mind. It's OP who keeps offering it, and therefore letting her know that she is not good enough as it is, and needs to be fixed.

mathanxiety · 12/04/2015 01:49

Liveloveluggage and HazelNutt and Cedricsneer, et al are right.

Please don't project your own issues onto your DD, and don't cry on the phone to Bravissimo. And stop mentioning reductions to her too.

Let her get some nice flattering bikinis. My two DDs who are 32DD and 34 GG both wear bikinis and enjoy the beach and the pool with their friends, stretch marks and all..

duplodon · 12/04/2015 02:02

Please seek counselling, preferably CBT or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Your dd is not you. Crying on the phone about her 'issue' reflects a lot of your own painful thoughts, emotions, associations and memories. Even if you try not to share this, it will come across. Break the cycle of self loathing by getting help for you, not a reduction for her. She is perfect and whole just as she us, just as you were but couldn't see xx

JoanHickson · 12/04/2015 02:21

I and my d had exploding massive breast too. I just buy her what I call tit slings to wear for support at home, as she hates her bra.

Apart from buying a bra issues, not being able to run or sleep on my tummy and not looking good in a polo neck. Big Boobs are not an issue.

Cassie37 · 12/04/2015 11:36

I worked in a store called Brastop when I was a student- they buy end of season plus size bras from the major brands (panache, bravissimo etc) and sell them at discounted prices. The stores have since closed down but they still have a website, have a look!

I am really flat chested (sigh) so had no need for any of the underwear, but all the customers seemed really happy. They also do their own brand, curvy kate which is supposed to be good.

Like others have said, don't press your own issues onto her. She knows the option of a reduction is there for when's she older if she want to then. I bet she would look great in a bikini as long as it's supportive enough!

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