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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Who's being unreasonable here?

26 replies

chancer2014 · 08/04/2015 06:31

Dh typically wears a dressing gown (about knee length, nothing underneath), sometimes with a jumper over during the evening. Dd, aged 14, is very embarrassed about this when her friends come for a sleepover. I've tried explaining this to him but he dismisses it thinking that she's over-reacting. I guess I think he's being a little insensitive given her age and that it wouldn't do him any harm just to keep his normal daywear clothes on until they go to bed (probably midnight given it's school holiday time). Who's being unreasonable here, would you say?

OP posts:
pilates · 08/04/2015 06:36

Agree with your DD a bit embarrassing.

Have just rewound 30 years in my head and I would have been embarrassed too Smile.

SavoyCabbage · 08/04/2015 06:37

A dressing gown with a jumper over is a crime against fashion if nothing else.

If my 14 year old went to someone's house and saw her father's cock, I would not be happy. It's inappropriate.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 08/04/2015 06:41

Your dh is being unreasonable. Your dds concerns are valid and should be respected.

Ds1 is 12 and becoming more self conscious so I now tend to avoid nakedness around him as it makes him uncomfortable. I think that's a natural part of growing up.

cathpip · 08/04/2015 06:43

Your dh is being unreasonable, and your dd is not over reacting.

goshhhhhh · 08/04/2015 06:45

Your dh needs to put some clothes on.

Feelinghelpless2 · 08/04/2015 06:46

I think if there wasnt chance of nudity i'd say he could wear what he wants but that does it for me, he's being unreasonable.

goshhhhhh · 08/04/2015 06:47

She is going to get known (at best) as the kid with the weird dad.

SoupDragon · 08/04/2015 06:49

Your DH is being an insensitive twat. His difficult is it to wear jogging bottoms or something as an alternative when she has friends round?

Shockers · 08/04/2015 06:50

Buy him some pajama trousers to go underneath.

I wouldn't walk around in a dressing gown without knickers on in front of my DC's friends, because it's an odd and inappropriate for an adult to do.

SoupDragon · 08/04/2015 06:50

How difficult, not his

AnyFucker · 08/04/2015 06:50

I think some trendy long length substantial lounging pyjamas would be better than a skimpy dressing gown. If he is anything like my H who doesn't tie it tightly, there is high risk of cocktails peeking out I have cracking photo evidence of this when he fell asleep in the armchair, legs akimbo

the difference is, he only wears his when there is just us in the house it's not a sign of sexual availability, oh no

ButchCassidy · 08/04/2015 06:51

You DH is being unreasonable
Put some pants on.

AnyFucker · 08/04/2015 06:51

cocktails ?

Original poster
chancer2014 · 08/04/2015 06:51

Thanks for your replies. She has called him on his fashion crimes before in that typical teenager way (and he doesn't dress badly really) but I think over this, she is a young girl, having friends over and I can't see why he can't just not stay in his jeans and shirt all evening. After all, it's just one night.

OP posts:
hesterton · 08/04/2015 06:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TurnOverTheTv · 08/04/2015 07:00

my DD would be mortified. I wouldn't be best pleased either. My daughters friend talk non stop. All it takes is one unfortunate slip of a dressing gown belt and it'll be all over school that he's a flasher Grin

AnyFucker · 08/04/2015 07:01

ha !

Bunbaker · 08/04/2015 07:10

I agree with TurnOver. An accidental slip could have implications that could get out of hand. Your DD's friends parents might forbid them to come to your house for a start.

I have a 14 year old and I know what she and her friends talk about. She would be absolutely mortified if she was a laughing stock at school because of her dad. It will be all over social media as well.

Your husband is a thoughtless idiot.

AnyFucker · 08/04/2015 07:16

....or a deliberate exhibitionist ?

mummytime · 08/04/2015 07:39

My DH cycles, and likes to freak the DC by dashing from shower to bedroom in just his dressing gown, or slipping the shoulder straps of his bib shorts off in the kitchen - both of which result in the squealing and telling him to "cover up"!

BUT he would never do this when any of their friends are in the house!

Your DH needs to get some "lounge clothes" and change into them if he must. Anything else is inappropriate.

SunshineAndShadows · 08/04/2015 07:49

Both of my parents used to wander around with just a dressing gown on when I was a teenager. My mum (in her 70s) still makes naked trips to the loo in the night. It a fucking liability. No one wants to see that. And yes my DP has bumped into her. And yes my dad has had dressing gown slips. Rationale: it's their house and why should they change what they wear (or don't wear) cos there are visitors?

Not enough brain bleach in the world. Tell him to put some clothes on.

SecretSquirrels · 08/04/2015 08:55

He should be fully clothed if there are visiting 14 year old girls in the house. Never mind fashion it's not decent.
DH is also a fashion criminal who likes to wear shorts in the house all year round

MummaV · 08/04/2015 11:52

I remember stopping by my Dad's house with a friend at around 15, he was in the shower when we got there so we sat and waited in the living room for him. Rather than getting out of the shower and getting dressed he came and sat in the living room with just a towel around his waist, I'm guessing he was only expecting me but was too far into the action to run out and get dressed by the time he noticed my friend in the corner. I only wanted to ask him a quick question so we didn't stop for long but in that time he definitely accidentally flashed at least once.

My friend never came back to my Dad's house after this and often talks about the day he sat around in a towel. (we are 25 now and I have been NC with Dad for at least 5 years now).

For the sake of your DD he should at least wear some pants to avoid flashing incidents. However, day clothes or PJ bottoms/lounge pants would be preferable!

mathanxiety · 12/04/2015 02:02

This isn't about fashion. Why is he so invested in risking exposing himself that he is defending this and seemingly wishing to continue doing it?

He sounds creepy, not 'a little insensitive'. If I were the mother of one of your DD's friends and I found out your DH was dressed like this when a teenaged child of mine was sleeping over I would get into my car and take her home, and she would not return.

People with poor boundaries tend to dismiss other people's concerns as over-reacting, and your DH's attire also makes him sound like someone with poor boundaries.

DianeLockhart · 12/04/2015 02:06

At the absolute VERY least he should have some boxers on under the gown rather than his cock flying lose and free which really is a bit indecent. Long pj bottoms better. Preferably remain fully dressed in normal day clothes. Your dd is reasonable in her complaint.