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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

16 yr old Dd hating me having friends round

28 replies

QOD · 02/04/2015 10:18

This is NOT an aibu Wink
so my Dd always moans when i or we (as in dh / couple type friends) have friends round.
moans that we are noisy inconsiderate have too many
i always tell it's her home but our house and that she cannot dictate to us (very very strong willed)
I have compromised, never have morning visitors ever at weekend, always tell her in advance
yesterday a friend from down the road popped in around 9 pm to deliver something from another friend. She'd Facebook ed me and said want me to drop off tonight or tomorrow, I'd said whatever conviennent and promptly forgot
anyway after she left, I remembered I have an old school friend coming round today at 11.3o so told Dd
'Sorry forgot it was holidays but X coming round. I've told her we lunching out at 1 so won't be for long'
Dd then tells me do I realise how it makes her feel in her own home with constant visitors, makes her feel suck with anxiety, uncomfortable in her home, freaked out about showering (upstairs, other side of house in en suite of locked room) and she wants it to stop

in a nutshell I basically said if it's tha bad u need to see Dr and you need help or counselling. I again said this is my home and dh home. We entertain as we see fit I am considerate. I will not change and that's the end of it.
for background, we have a large house with 3 reception rooms (not a stealth boast) she has the huge longe with sofa sky large tv basically to herself, dh has the study and I have the kitchen diner. Ut all evolved as I don't really watch TV and couldn't stand all the Disney shite, as she got older dh couldn't get gis adult shows ad she was still up. She uses the lounge like teenagers use their room
lastly i am laid up unable to drive post major shoulder surgery so visitors mostly come here to our hourly bus time tabled village.
i spose it is a sort of aibu without anyone allowed to be mean to me Wink

My final thoughts are she goes to uni in yrs. If she dictates my life to me now, when she's gone I've nicely cut off my friends.
I do compromise as I say. When I'm not stranded it's way less

OP posts:
bigbluebus · 04/04/2015 12:29

The en suite student rooms are more expensive and there is no guarantee she will get one even if she applies. Out of relatives & friends DC going to Uni in last couple of years none of them got what they applied for! And even if she is lucky in Yr1 she will probably need a house share in subsequent years.

Amybabygypsyqueen · 04/04/2015 12:39

I think she wants some time with you but doesn't know how to tell you. She doesn't want to have to book a slot to just relax. As much as its your house it's hers too and she has a right to feel safe and relaxed at home.

chocoluvva · 04/04/2015 14:57

I know what you mean Amy but OP lives in a very big house.

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