Becoming annoyed by this friendship, it's a one way street.

[shadypines]

Hi for the last 6 or 7 years a boy, call him Freddie (DS's 15yrs friend) has visited our street to see and stay with relatives on Fridays, which is how DS came to meet him.
Because he became friendly with DS he ended up spending 90% of his time at our house rather than his relatives and his mum would pick him up from ours on a Sunday with a 'thank you for having him'.

We didn't mind this at all as DS didn't have any other friends at home so it was good for him to have his company and he is a pleasant and polite boy. Infact we invited him and took him on all sorts of family days out over the years to make it a bit more fun for DS and DD (children around here are few and far between). Add to that, every week we take him to and from a sports class with DS and DD and have done so for 5 years (that makes around 200 journeys in total).Friends mum has told me how good it is for him to have DS to see at weekends as there are no pleasant children for Freddie him at home

Anyway, over the last 6-12 months it's just started to annoy me a bit that nothing ever gets reciprocated on the part of Freddie and his parents, who we have both met via the sports club and visits to their rels a few doors up. DS NEVER gets an invite to go to Freddie's house for a few hours, they don't live far away, so it's always DS who has had to do the entertaining in his bedroom and use his toys/games etc Even when his mum has been off work in holidays there is never any suggestion of this.

On top of that, once a year there is a night out for the sports club they are in which DCs and parents attend and there is a bar. This boys parents are pleasant with us and chat a bit but don't even offer to buy us a drink . I don't even tend to see the mum anymore as now the other boys is older she doesn't bother to call to ours to pick him up.

I don't expect a medal or flowers or anything but I just feel a bit 'used' both for myself and on behalf of my DS ( I don't know whether he ever feels like this as he doesn't say anything). It's just not a nice feeling and now DS is getting older I'm getting a bit weary that there's nothing offered to him in return.

Go ahead and wreck their freindship because you feel annoyed, I am sure your DC will forgive you in 50 years or so.

It's an established pattern now, it's a bit late in the piece to get upset about it.

I can totally understand why you feel so cross and it would annoy me no end too.
Without upsetting your ds I am at a loss as to how you can redress the balance.
Aren't some people ill mannered?

I can understand why you are annoyed but you should have addressed the issue when they were younger, such as suggesting alternative days pick up from sports/clubs, suggesting your ds goes around his friend's house from time to time.

Now that they are older I can't see what you could do as it would upset your Ds.

The positive thing I would see in all this is the fact that your DS is always around so you can see what he is up to, mine in going out a lot and I am constantly wondering what he may end up doing.

Thanks Maud for your sensitive reply, I was just letting off some steam here TBH,
cd, not sure where you are coming from I never said I was about to wreck anything and certainly have given no hint to DS that I feel a bit upset/annoyed, that would not be helpful at all!

Your DS is a teenager, and it's up to him. You encouraged the friendship when they were young, due to lack of other local friendships, it now exists outside of that. If they were preschoolers it would be different. In a year or so they will be out in town or down the pub and never want to hang out anywhere near you so enjoy it whilst it lasts!

The context in which you know this other boy is your street. He wouldn't have been with his parents anyway, he was staying with his relative. So it's his relative presumably whom you might expect to reciprocate, if reciprocation is even necessary.

FWIW our house was always pretty much open house when I was a kid, my parents only had me, and the house was always full of my mates. I was friends with a little girl who had 12 siblings and very difficult father, she was never allowed to have anyone over to play, nor was the girl down the round whose parents both worked full time. We'd all have been lonely if my parents had got the hump about reciprocal invitations.