cost increase for 16 year olds??

[notharriet]

I've put this on stepparenting with more step associated info but essentially - I guess it is a teen question..

My DSD is 16. She has been pretty much estranged since August really with maybe three coffee meets with DH in that time always when she wants some money for something.

What has happened today has left DH (and me) feeling confused as to what to do for the best. i.e. what is the right thing to do Vs being a mug.

So, she has asked him if they can meet up because “I’m about to turn 16 and go to college and at this age I need certain things from you that Mum can’t afford as my costs have gone up”.

Because we don’t have a teenager at home (as much as we’d have liked to have her in our lives!!), and have no idea about costs, we don’t want to assume that DSD is bullshitting and wonder if her costs have indeed increased and if we may be missing something? My head is telling me that at 16 must be when costs actually go down because they start to have their own life/ income etc. My thoughts are that DH could pay for half of any large items or expenses (books lists? Stationary?) but pay directly for the items. Which I don’t think he’d mind as he has always been happy to cover his responsibilities and if there really are sudden large costs, we don’t want DSd to not be able to have the things she needs. But I think she’s going to go more down the route of a regular amount of money paid to her for non descript items... which I want to help him to prepare for.

So, if you’ve got this far, my questions are:

Did you costs go up for your teenager when they started college?
What kinds of things were they?
Did they get a job?
Did you pay them pocket money?
If you are separated from their other parent – did the NRP pay for additional items for college on top of CSA and if so, what?

Thanks x

[notharriet]

Mum has always complained about the cost of travel and I know DH has given her money before now because of that so I hope it's not the case that she's been given a free pass

[BaronessEllaSaturday]

It's the 3 mile magic cut off so she may or may not get a pass but it may still increase the cost even if she already pays, my local bus company use the school journey as a bit of a cash cow so if you have to pay for a pass it doesn't increase much on turning 16 and start having to buy an adult pass instead, the neighbouring area does increase significantly once they turn 16 but it is very cheap below 16. Another area near us only counts them as an adult once they turn 19.

[GemmaTeller]

DSD got her first job waiting on in the local restaurant then she spent a day going round all the shops in the out of town retail park with her CV.

By the end of the day one fashion store rang her back and she had a saturday job. She was also allowed to transfer stores when she went to uni.

[notharriet]

Ah yes great. I've looked it up. It's under 19 in full time education that they get the reduction. No free pass but it's £56 per month.

That makes sense as DH has given £60 for odd months here an there when his ex has asked for it.

So no change to now, but it is quite expensive isn't it.

[AdoraBell]

My step son got a part time Job and we paíd for Loads of things over an above the child maíntainance úntil he went To Uní. Then we paíd for his accomodation.

So a bit of everything really but step son has never seen his father as a cash cow in the way some teenager DCs do.

Depends How she talks To her father really, and How he feels about her attitude when she's Asking for money. FWIW I have a 13 yr old who thinks Nothing of demanding her pocket money right now but I don't comply with her commands

[Heyho111]

College doesn't start till September why does she need it now. They do cost more but from a socialising point. I'm sure her mum would ask for extra support. I think she may be trying it on a little.

[ivykaty44]

part time job