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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

How to stop DS aged 13 being spoilt and self absorbed?

2 replies

cupofteaintime · 22/03/2015 09:15

I have been on my own with DS since he was a baby. So I guess a lot of it is my fault - sometimes its simply easier to do everything myself rather than get him to help out. He has his responsibilities - school work and bag and keep his room tidy. He won't do either unless told to do so.

He is obsessed with xbox/minecraft on computer. He would stay on it all day if I let him which obviously I don't. I am currently 22 weeks pregnant and my partner has just left me (which I was expecting tbh and he didn't live with us so not toooooo many changes). I have been so, so ill with flu this week - really knocked out and DS has done fuck all. Not even asked how I am feeling. Nothing. I was so unwell yesterday I couldn't take him out so asked his Nan to have him. She offered him to earn a fiver to help clean out garage - she said he was rude, lazy and argumentative, challenging everything she said. He basically just wanted to get home on go on xbox. DP, or ex-DP now, said that he is selfish and doesn't treat me with any respect. Whilst I agree he is selfish, I don't agree re no respect. He seems to have no thought for others - I guess this is worse as he has been only child? For mothers day he had £20 to spend - he spent £2.50 on me and then came back home and immediately spent the rest on online packages for his games. He only spent the £2.50 as he was told to by his nan. Christmas and birthday he joked about how I brought him presents to give to me (ie. he didn't pay). And he received around £300 for Christmas so not like didn't have any money. Yep, again, my fault I know. But what do I do now? He is obsessed with getting money to spend on his stupid games - as I say I had been feeling so ill this week and asked if he would rub my shoulders as they were killing me and felt like death warmed up. I had to pay him to do it..............

How can I turn this around?

OP posts:
PenelopePitstops · 22/03/2015 09:20

You need to get tough NOW!

WiFi password is only given out for good behaviour. Set out rules and expectations with clear sanctions and rewards. Eg washing up is 1 hour of WiFi. Not washing up is no password.

The baby and partner leaving will affect him. He is going from 13 years of being number 1 to being 2nd in the pecking order when baby arrives. He probably resents the baby already and will be thinking about the effect on him. He is a teenager and they are inherently selfish. Talk to him about the arrival, make sure he doesn't become a father figure to the baby. Let school know what is happening so they can support you both.

Flowers
cupofteaintime · 22/03/2015 10:50

He is out cutting the lawn and not being paid for it :D

Current partner is not his dad. It won't make any difference to him as we do not live together and the bloke is a bit of a twat and often walks out of our lives so DS just thinks we are in a relationship but don't see that much of each other sometimes.

He is excited about the baby. We talk about it a lot. School are aware and he has a support person there if he needs to talk

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