heeeeeeeelp! 17. School refusal. Second/third/fourth shots at education?

[wheresthelogbook]

Ds plagued with anxiety, combined with a shovelful of can't-be-arsedness

he is resitting AS levels at a different college after a bad, baaaad flop at school last year

due to anxiety/feeling sick, he has missed the last 4 weeks at college. He currently has a cbt practitioner, his college's student services officer, his GP, his tutor, and me looking after him

however he cannot BRING himself to go into college- I know this, because I've tried to take him in the last two days. He hyperventilates on the train, goes white as a sheet, will get nearly to the front door, and then bolt for the station (where he instantly cheers up and will go from on-the-verge-of-vomiting to eating-massive-sandwiching)

he had convinced me before that he wanted to go in and do his resits (he had a good term his first term, but went downhill after Christmas). Now though he appears to have had enough

I am quietly despairing. I don't know if you ever get another shot at AS/A2 levels in the current climate. I am pretty certain that, if he manages to find a minimum wage job- and anxiety doesn't get the better of him- he will soon realise what he's passed up, and want to resume his education- he is a bright if somewhat lazy lad and I don't think hard, low income work will be appealing to him after a day a while

any thoughts, anyone? All gratefully received

oh and he is vaguely interested in apprenticeships but we are assuming that providers won't look too kindly on kids with patchy attendance who have had two stabs at FE and dropped out

Even if he gets an apprenticeship what happens when they want him to do a day or two at college? It sounds like he may be too late to salvage this year, perhaps it might be best to withdraw and look for work then consider going to take night classes when he is ready.

My DD took a year out due to clinical depression, and did sit her A levels, but some of her friends have gone back into education in different ways and at different times. . He can always go back and resit A levels, or do an access course for a year, which can lead to a university course if that is what he wants in the future. After 19 there are other options too to get him back into education which are funded as no government wants young people NOT in education, jobs or training. . Some good universities specialise in supporting later access to university and we know young people manage to get in to a 4 year degree course despite really poor results or no A levels at all and everyone deserves another chance . He is unwell with his anxiety , and is getting treatment and support, so if he can't do it now, please try not to worry he has thrown it all away. Your issue is probably having him at home all the time and what he will do if he's not at school. My DD got very involved with mental health charities and campaigning which helped her confidence and they offered some training and support.

Thank you cdtaylor

I think you're right. He is keeping up with the work mostly because he has me standing over him from dawn till dusk -his tutors are sending it home

I think if he can't go in before Easter, though, it will probably become unmanageable

And thank you anthropology

I have had the shittest week (yes, yes, its all about MEEEE) but your post gave me a chink of daylight

That's a shame your poor boy probably a year out would do him good but you don't want him retreating into the house forever sounds hard does he need to do his A level s