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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Teenagers not washing!

15 replies

Rivercam · 17/03/2015 21:47

My 15 year old had a bath earlier, and hasn't washed properly. How do I know - the body wash hasn't moved! I think he just uses bath water to wash his muddy legs.

My 13 year old had a dry face also, so hasn't't washed this evening. Frequently he cleans his teeth without using toothpaste (I know because his breatH isn't minty-fresh).

I feel disappointed this evening as I i don't want them to be social outcasts due to not washing properly, and feel I've failed them slightly that they don't know the social niceties of life.

Rant over!

OP posts:

holeinmyheart · 18/03/2015 00:11

Wait until the 15 year old gets a GF and then the washing will never stop.
What about buying them some nice boys toiletries likee LYNX? I know my best friend's son who is 14, loves that.
They will be sorry if they don't clean their teeth though as Dentists are so expensive.

AddToBasket · 18/03/2015 00:26

Tell them! Explain that no one ever tells people that they smell, they just hang out with them less.

mathanxiety · 20/03/2015 02:33

Do you have a shower?
How warm is the bathroom?

You need to make pointed remarks about how they stink.

ChillySundays · 21/03/2015 20:46

Don't think is just a boy thing either

AddToBasket and mathanxiey are right

I had to be cruel to be kind in the end - 'I love you darling but you stink'.

Even with a clean school shirt every day without a shower still stunk

Heartboy · 24/03/2015 20:21

Things could be worse. I've given up the battle. If I can get my 13 yr old to shower once in a week it's a miracle. Sometimes it's been week's but I've found the arguments exhausting. He also asked the question why should he wash and aside from being smelly and greasy couldn't find any health reasons unfortunately. I've decided to stop winding myself up about it. He did kindly agree to wash his hair as a Mother's Day present!!!

jd56 · 24/03/2015 21:48

My son is 11, so not the same as a teen, but when he started moaning and complaining and not having a shower every night, I suggested to him that if he was to lazy to wash himself we would have to go back to me giving him a bath every night. He didn't like the idea of that so he stopped complaining. What he then started to do though was to go into the bathroom with his games, turn the shower on, play his computer game for twenty minutes, then wet his hair and come out. Why oh why anyone would do this I have no idea. As if we wouldn't know. When we found out what he was up to his dad grabbed him, picked him up, told him he was a smelly boy and threw him in the shower and hosed him down while my son washed himself. He thought this was all good fun and hilarious at first, but he soon grew tired of it. We now have a self cleaning sparkling fresh boy every night.

mathanxiety · 25/03/2015 04:45

Do you seriously sit there and answer a 13 year old who uses ridiculous arguments to keep from washing, or asks silly questions about whether it is healthy, as if it was all potentially reasonable and you were ready to accept a good argument against washing?

Order him into the shower. Put your hands over your ears and refuse to listen when he objects. Turn up the radio if he persists, ignore everything he says, and shout at him to get into the shower, until he can't stand it any more. Say nothing to him except 'Get into the shower' and be prepared to keep it up. You do not have to put up with that sort of nonsense, and engaging with him on his terms (by responding to arguments and answering questions) only encourages it.

Meanwhile stop making tasty dinners and doing his laundry and any other perks or services he is taking for granted. Take his phone or his xbox or anything else he values until he gets in the habit of showering. 28 to 30 days later when the habit is established he can have them back. If he relapses, start again.

CwtchCorner · 28/03/2015 20:19

We have that issue here and DD will come and say that DS smells. I comment, in the presence of DS, that it's up to DS if he chooses not to wash as it's him that will be losing friends and not me. The shower gel that he likes was used that morning. He's at the stage of it's his responsibility and not mine as he's 16, I'm choosing my battles and he can make his own choices whether he wants to be clean or smelly - as I get hay fever I have no sense of smell anyway

Gymbob · 28/03/2015 20:31

the youngest DD 15, is only bothered about her hair and make up. she will shower just to wash her hair, doesn't bother a lot of the time with soap. just keeps putting more make up on top of old, doesn't take it off at night. never brushes teeth voluntarily, wears the same clothes for days. will wear one pair of knickers all week as they are her fave. and she has a boyfriend

ChillySundays · 28/03/2015 20:34

Feeling sorry for the boyfriend unless he is just as bad!

dementedma · 28/03/2015 20:38

Never had this problem with the DDS but 13 year old ds is more of a battle. Would wear the same boxers and socks all week if he could get away with it, washes hair about once a week, showers maybe twice a week. I suppose he will survive....

holeinmyheart · 31/03/2015 11:22

mathanxiety wow I don't think I would mess with you?

Songofsixpence · 31/03/2015 11:53

My teen is a bit shower shy.

She gets through a lot of Batiste dry shampoo.

Why she just doesn't get in the shower without 20 minutes of arguing and then 10 minutes of farting about when she actually gets in the bathroom is beyond me. Far quicker and easier to just get in the bloody shower. I've taken to switching off the wifi until she's showered

She's OK with teeth brushing, clean clothes and changing her undies, but actual showering/washing is a battleground.

mathanxiety · 31/03/2015 17:36

Holeinmyheart -- I have five DCs and if I were to waste time listening to all of their arguments about various matters I would run out of hours in the day.

I feel that some things are not negotiable under any circumstances, and the only way to ensure they get done is to not give them the impression that those things are up for discussion. Daily showering is one of them. Seatbelts in the car is another, as well as not eating in their rooms, always leaving their plates, mugs, etc in the dishwasher and leaving a clean kitchen behind them if they get a snack, leaving the bathroom as they would like to find it (actually as I would like to find it).

mathanxiety · 31/03/2015 17:40

(I also find that if all five of them decide to leave mugs and plates around or leave the bathroom in a mess, it is a huge daily job to clean it all up again. And if the five of them were to decide not to wash I would need to buy industrial strength air fresheners. Maybe with fewer DCs I would be a little more relaxed because bad habits wouldn't have such an immediate impact.)

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