Daughter in abusive relationship

[numberonedad]

My DD is in a relationship that she has tried to split up several times, but she keeps going back. I dont know all the details but it sounds like he is jealous of her having as many friends as she does, is suspicious when she is with other males, and when she has split up before he threatens to commit suicide. They are both 17 - he's slightly younger. She says she does love him. Last time they split up she was at her mothers - her motehr asked him to leave, he then stayed outside screaminga them, kicked the door and the bins over.= apparently it was quite frightening. I think he wont let go and now she seesm to be back with him.

Her mother is not happy - wont let him in her house again. What should I do? How can I help my daughter? Should I? Should I ban him from my house? If it is an abusive relationship, how do I get him to leaver her alone - my daughter's mother suggests his parents are useless. When is a relationship unhealthy?

We are in a similar situation with our dd16. Her boyfriend is 18 and most of the time behaves normally and is lovely. But he has a whole other side to him - he gets angry and verbally abusive usually when she is doing something without him, going to a party etc. She's broken up with him several times because of this but he always uses emotional blackmail (starts crying, says he has no life without her) and she takes him back. He knows that we're aware of the way he sometimes is with her, I've spoken to him at length about it the last time they split up, and he says he knows he has a problem. Dd says bf's dad is a perfectionist and is always going on at bf, nothing he can do is ever good enough for his dad which may have something to do with it? It is clearly an unhealthy relationship and causes dd a lot of stress but I know if I try and ban her from seeing him it may push her further towards him.