Need help with 16year old ....im desperate

[dlcw]

Hello......does anyone have any ideas on what im supposed to do about my son who is 16.
He walked out 3 weeks ago and I haven't heard from him at all. He started seeing a girl a couple of months ago but I don't know her or her parents. He has gone to stay with them. In the month running up to him leaving her family had been buying him loads of presents...an iphone, a bike, designer clothes...etc and he had suddenly become really argumentative and aggressive. They had told him he could go and live with them!!

I went to their house a couple of days after he left and begged the parents to send him home, they said they are keeping him!!!

The police wont do anything as he is 16 and nor will social services... I feel as if im going mad its like hes been kidnapped and coerced with presents.

Does anyone have any ideas as to what im going to do?

Well there is nothing you can do. You can't force him to come back. However you can calm down. He is only young and it is unlikely this is going to be the end of this.
You are absolutely tearing yourself apart.
First of all, I think you should accept the situation as long as he is in no immediate danger from them. Then go to your GP and explain that you need help as you will be getting no sleep. Everything seems better after a good nights sleep.
I honestly believe your son will be back. Once the honeymoon period is over with this new family and they start laying the law down to your son, he will start to remember his old home. He is a messy teenager after all.
Meanwhile, stop begging and don't contact him. Absense makes the heart grow fonder. Just write him one more note along the lines of ' you will always be there for him, and leave it at that.
Then get on with your own life.

Does he go to school?

He will come back to you. Leave 'the door open' and he will be back eventually

I'm quite sure he will be back soon. Who will take in charge a teenage boy like that. It is not easy financially and emotionaly.

I think the question about school is important - is your DS in Yr 11 still or does he go to college? I assume you must be in touch with them to explain what is happening. Rather than insist he comes back it may be better to try and open up some form of communication initially. You haven't given any background to his departure so it's difficult to know why he has gone - but if you can at least get him to agree to meet you or update with a text this would be a start.

How is it going now? I am in the exact same situation. I feel so fucking useless and powerless.

Hi, I think you should keep an eye on this and maybe notify SS and try and keep linked in with the police, perhaps try and get them to check this out again. Have you met the parents since? You still in contact with your son? Just sets alarm bells ringing for me. The fact that you had not me the parents, the expensive gifts, his rejection of you and aggressive behaviour, then her parents saying, he's with us, we're keeping him. In any other situation this would be seen as 'grooming'. Sounds outlandish I know, and it probably teenage troubles making him act like this, but would check things out a little more.... Just can't fathom the weird attitude of the parents...Good luck and hope it's sorted out for you soon x

Has he sold them a story about how awful it is at home ? Otherwise i don't inderstand their "we are keeping him " comments. if it was my son i would stay outside their house until they invited me in for a meaningful dialogue. Even if he wants to stay with them and they want him, you deserve to be included in this planning.

I stood outside the house until GF's batshit crazy mother called the police and I had to leave.