I am a teenager and pregnant

[sammiimmas]

I am 15 and pregnant and when I give birthI will still be 15, I am with the babies daddy and we are very happy and want to bring our baby up oiourselves. when I first found out I waz pregnant my mum was overjoyed whereas me and bf was scared and unsure but mum gave me an ultimatum, she told me if I had an abortion she would kick me out and never speak to me again.
I decided to keep baby and now me and bf are happy I kept baby and look forward to our baby coming and becoming parents.
even though me amd my partner are young and in some ways I am very nieve we are still very capable and have lots of support from his family and untill now I thought my family. after talking to people ive found out that some of what my mum has told me and ive believed isnt true. she has told me that cause im 15 when baby arrives that cause im still clased as a child untill I reach 16 that the guaedianship of mu baby automatically goes to her, im told that this iant the case and really what I need help with is where can I go to get info on things like this as I dont want anyone else to have guardianship of mu daughter apart from me and bf. my mum always wanted another child and im afraid she has the idea that she will take over when my baby comes

Try speaking to your midwife.

As a teenager you will be assigned a specialist midwife who will be able to answer all your questions.

I cannot speak to midwife as mum is always with me

never alone with midwife to ask her anything

You need to be allowed to see the midwife on your own. Can you ask the midwife this next visit? I am sure the midwife will accept this and ask your mother to leave.

Or could you just ask the midwife this question regardless, with your mother present? That way your mum will hear the answer and know that you know what the real answer is too.

You can call your midwife for advice. Explain that you can't ask in front of your mum. And I'm sure your mum doesn't need to come to your appointment of you don't want her to.

This advice page here states: www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_e/relationships_children_and_young_people_e/young_people_and_family.htm#h_parents_aged_under_16

Mothers aged under 16

If you are under 16 and have a baby, you have the same legal rights and responsibilities towards the child as any mother.

If you don't feel you can ask your mum to leave when you next see the midwife, perhaps you could phone up first and tell the receptionist you want to see the midwife alone and ask them make a note of your file for the midwife to ask your mum to leave for a bit?

Good luck.

thank you very much for help. not sure if you can answer but am I able to move out of parents home if I have somewhere else to go where is still suitable for me and my child

I think legally you're too young to hold your own tenancy. Where would you be moving to/who with?

Sammi congratulations on your exciting decision.
I don't want to come across as condescending, I'm sure you have loads of different advice coming from all angles.

The best person to help you is your midwife, she is there just for you and baby she will keep your interests in mind not guess or side with anyone.
Give her a call or get her to call you and tell her you have some worries and what they are.

Good luck

Definitely call up your midwife tell her you need to speak to her alone. She can ask to see you alone (ironically if you'd gone with your bf she'd have asked to see you alone to check all was well). She'll either ask your mum to leave or so as not to raise suspicions could make you another appointment or visit you at school.

If you don't feel able to speak to your midwife you can make an appointment with your gp without your mum knowing and attend alone where you can talk things through there. You can also ring children's services (ring your local council) and explain the situation and ask for some advice. Homestart are also very helpful and will be able to support you.

Congratulations.

Enjoy your baby and make sure you get all the help and support you need. Don't be afraid to use mumsnet whenever you need to as well x