Gaming/Internet Addiction

[helpimgoingcrazyhere]

Sorry if this has already been covered, though I could not find it on another thread.

I'm at my wits end with my DS whose life ambition it seems is to play and make money from online tournaments. This means all home time is spent 'practising' holed up in his room and as he is at college 2 days a week, if he isn't at work or a family members house that is all he is doing for the other 5.

He is becoming rude about doing anything else and literally wants to spend from the moment he wakes up to the moment I ask him to come off the internet, online, chatting to his friends, gaming, recording etc. He eats at his pc if I am not around/don't stop him and literally won't engage in barely anything else unless its family meal or enforced off line time when at home.

His friends are those of the virtual environment, he is not applying himself at college (despite it being a games development course!) and seems to have one offline friend who he hangs out with. Otherwise it's a virtual existence.

He was recently bullied at college and whilst college intervened and he says it is sorted, it seems he is no longer hanging out with a social group. I worry the internet is his way of escaping into an easier world and he is not dealing with the off-line one.

He also wants to leave home to live with one of his tournament friends, dropping out of college and supposedly take up an apprenticeship in London with this guy.

We fight constantly, despite me not wanting to engage in fights.

I'm working away from home at the moment (thankfully ending this week) and was doing a lot of voluntary work which I have suspended whilst I sort this out as I don't think that was helping.

I just want him to be able to engage with real people, the home environment (even just watching crap tv for a bit!) and to be able to support him in dealing with the bullies/college.

I have just set parental controls on the internet, limiting his time to 30 hours a week, though I think that is still way too much! Though of course that bought his world crashing down and I was accused of not understanding/being unfair.

Any help/advice on how to get teenagers offline and sanity support for the home, greatly appreciated. I'm a few days away from home again, so this is sounding much calmer than I usually feel!

If he wanted to play Tennis, Golf, Swim, play Chess competitively and was as fanatical about that as most achievers in those are and wanted to go and get intensive training and take part in junior tournaments would you be so worried?

recode.net/2014/06/22/what-are-esports-a-pro-video-gaming-guide-for-the-rest-of-us/

www.businessinsider.com/15-of-the-highest-paid-professional-gamers-2014-5?op=1&IR=T

www.theverge.com/2014/7/21/5919973/inside-the-life-of-a-pro-gamer

The 15th highest paid pro gamer is 28 and has made nearly $400,000.

Perhaps if you read the above together it may help.

You could also support him be paying for him to go to Insomnia in April
insomniagamingfestival.com/

Perhaps if he enters a few games and sees what the level of competition is it will either discourage him or prove to you and him that there could be a career here.

Of course it's bloody worrying. It's an addiction same as any other eg gambling, as it stimulates the reward part of the brain. It takes the place of relationships and becomes their only reason for living.

I have one who is not as far gone as yours but were it not for my rules most certainly would be. I didn't see his old your ds was but I would be seeking professional help.