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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

I can't wait till my DD goes to Uni

23 replies

dotnetmum · 10/03/2015 09:24

A few short years ago, I used to dread when my only dd would leave home, how much I would miss her, because we used to have so much fun together. Now I can't wait for her to get going and go to Uni. Is that bad of me?
Nowadays although she is still nice with me (mostly), but she spends most of her time with the boyfriend including weekends, and when she is home, she criticizes her brother and annoys her dad all the time. I just don't need this. I am also hoping that Uni will make her realize how good she has it at home, but maybe that's a fantasy?

OP posts:
NotALondoner · 10/03/2015 10:59

I totally get where you're coming from.

I am saying this with feeling.

NotALondoner · 10/03/2015 10:59

And deep sighs.

SunnyBaudelaire · 10/03/2015 11:02

it is fine, I love my DD but cannot wait for her to go away to a residential training course in September. And she is only 16. All she does is argue with her bro, hide at her BF's house all hours, and demand money from me.
Roll on September!

ProbablyMe · 10/03/2015 11:04

Oh god yes, I know the feeling. I love my DS to bits - when he leaves his room long enough for me to remember what he looks like - but he and I are definitely ready for a bit of space....I'm quite looking forward to having a chance to miss him!

Handsup · 10/03/2015 11:05

Would you feel the same if you didn't have child no 2? Reason I ask is I have the one child who's in his teens & I always feel a bit weepy at the thought of him leaving home Blush

Original poster
dotnetmum · 10/03/2015 11:44

yes, SunnyBaudelaire, "demand money from me" that as well!

@Handsup, well, I don't think it would make any difference if DD was an only child. My DS is only one year younger, and he will be leaving home soon too. He hasn't shown any "attitude" though, just stays in his room most of the time. It is her really, I have thought about it a lot, and sometimes I think mentally she has already left home, and is basically getting aggressive and frustrated that her body is still living here. I hope that once she has seen what the big wild world is like, she will appreciate what she has at home more.
I am hoping that she will want to come home every so often from Uni, to get fed and watered, and please please let those be happy times and not grumpy moods.

OP posts:
Lancelottie · 10/03/2015 11:46

As a friend of mine said this October,
'Two hundred miles does wonders for a parent-child relationship.'

funnyossity · 10/03/2015 11:55

I know what you mean.

Handsup · 10/03/2015 12:10

To be fair my ds is only 15 and still has plenty of time to be foul like I was at this age & no doubt my feelings could change Grin

lk26 · 10/03/2015 12:16

Me to. Dd and both stepsons all off to university in 2 years ( grades permitting ). Can't bloody wait.
Then in 16 yrs the little surprise baby will go too !!!

Redhead11 · 10/03/2015 12:25

I was thrilled when DD2 left for university. it is nice to see her when she comes home for the odd weekend, but i am always pleased when she goes back. I think there does come a time when you don't want your kids living at home. Mine always knew that come 18, they would be looking for somewhere else to live within a very short time period. It is great to have my own life back. I raised them to become independent adults, and i would have been very put out if they had refused to do so.

funnyossity · 10/03/2015 12:27

Enjoy the little one lk26!

lk26 · 10/03/2015 13:21

Enjoying her now as she is napping and I am on the sofa Brew

300Bananas · 10/03/2015 15:28

I doubt if dd will be going to uni. I look forward to her getting a job and moving out. Then she might realise how good she's got it. She's only just turning 16 in 2 months so I'm gonna have a long wait!

thenextday · 10/03/2015 15:34

Me too. She is lovely, but ds and I will enjoy the peace.
Glad its not just me.

I do wake up sometimes sweating, thinking what if she does badly in A levels????

Uni will do her so much good...it was the best 3 years of my life.

Scotchmincepie · 10/03/2015 15:34

Can't wait either - 2 stepsons away and one stepdaughter to go in 2 years time. She's on her own now her brothers have gone, she has loads of mates but she's starting to get bored of it just being her. And she's good to have around when we see her.

Stepsons back for hols next week - and, while it will be nice to see them and husband is very excited to see them, they will eat us out of house and home and even husband will breathe a sigh of relief when they are gone.

It's gets to a point when they have just grown up and you start to want to have your own life...

Kewcumber · 10/03/2015 15:37

Teenagers are meant to do this. To move away from their primary attachment being their parent (which is necessary for a child to be protected) to their peers in order to form functioning adult relationships (eventually) which can protect a child when they have one.

Try to take comfort in the fact that you have done a good enough job with your DD that she is going through the normal changes as a teenager.

On the other hand my mum used to say "Teenagers are natures way of helping parents let go of their children!"

Ragwort · 10/03/2015 15:55

Handsup - I have an 'only' child and I am counting the days until he goes to uni (of course no guarantee that he will want to or get in Sad). I feel weepy at the thought of four more years until it is time to leave.

Teenage years (for me) are the absolute hardest ................ baby/toddler stage was a piece of cake.

badasahatter · 10/03/2015 16:09

I only have one child and I can't wait for mine to go to university. I'm hoping she stays up north, as I think it'll be cheaper and there will be more chance of her dad being able to pop in and see her if she stays on his geographical patch (work-wise).

I also think it will stop her from being quite so self-centred and will help her to become independent. She's only 14 though! I've got a long, long time to wait! We get on o.k. but she's bloody hard work now, compared to being a piece of cake when she was little. She's gone from smiley to whiney and from boss to goth! She's not doing the full make up yet, but she's permanently in black and I have to listen to her music with her, if I want to spend any time with her at all. I will, guaranteed, be the oldest mum at Leeds Festival this year. Roll on growing up for baby badasahatter!

TurnItIn · 10/03/2015 16:15

Yes, it's definitely a normal stage of development but it's horrible when you're going through it.

DS1 is heading off in September and although every time we have yet another row (I'm very fortunate to have given birth to a child who knows EVERYTHING there is to know about EVERYTHING, it's such a relief to have him here telling me all about all the things he knows as I am clearly a very stupid woman ) I think "OH COME ON SEPTEMBER FFS" I do know that I will be bereft for the first couple of hours weeks.

Original poster
dotnetmum · 10/03/2015 19:52

Thank you for all your responses. It really helps to feel that I am not the only one that feels this way. Thanks! Smile

OP posts:
MaudeLebowski · 10/03/2015 20:01

I am also hoping that Uni will make her realize how good she has it at home, but maybe that's a fantasy?

I think that probably is a fantasy. Moving out is great fun.

But what it will do, is make her an adult. She will be wholly more enjoyable company then.

tilliebob · 10/03/2015 21:08

Here we have just sent off for uni prospectus and eldest teen has just done his S5 choices. I was getting weepy just looking at the websites, and he still has 2 years at school to do. I'm hoping we're at the "I love you but please sod off" stage by summer 2017 too GrinGrin

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