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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

How much money do you give your teens?

40 replies

Alb1 · 07/03/2015 19:51

Just wondering how much allowance most people give to their teens? Mine is 13 and I'm trying to figure it out, wether it should be all earned through house work, or wether there should be a base rate and then extra earned through house work, or wether it should just be unconditional free money? Like should house work should be done regardless as she's part of our family...

I should probably add a bit of background here, she's my sister who's just come to live with me as our mum has died and I'm 100% clueless as I'm only 25 and my own child is only just weaning. So you may see a few more clueless threads here coming up...

OP posts:

VivaLeBeaver · 07/03/2015 20:02

Dd is 14yo. I used to give her £22 a month but was always topping up for cinema trips, lunch with friends, etc. she now gets £40 a month but no top ups.

I just expect her to empty the dishwasher when she comes back from school, so nothing too tasking.

I'm sorry about your mum.

yellowdaisies · 07/03/2015 20:07

Depends how old and how much of an independent social life they have really. DS (15) and DD(12) both get £20 a month though DD goes out with friends more so is often running out.

How old is your DSis? How much was she used to getting before your mum died?

yellowdaisies · 07/03/2015 20:08

And mine don't get extra for most regular household jobs - eg washing up, but can earn extras for one offs like washing the car.

gamerchick · 07/03/2015 20:11

I give mine their child benefit but from around 15 and 20 quid a month pocket money anything else has to be earned through extra chores.
At 13 it's 20 quid a month pocket money paid once a month and extra through outside of their usual chores.

Original poster

Alb1 · 07/03/2015 20:13

She didn't get an allowance before that I'm aware of, my mum was ill but went quite suddenly in the end so I didn't get to ask her anything and I left home when Dsis was 5 so I don't no any of the details like bedtime, allowance etc, and my sister is a big fibber so I can't get a straight answer out of her on these things, I'm always getting told things that 'mum said' she can do which I no full well will be lies as she was also my mum so I knew her very well! I never got an allowance growing up, just bits of money off grandparents etc

OP posts:

ragged · 07/03/2015 20:14

Sorry about your loss.
In your situation I would try to give her what your mum did before, and ask her what kind of system they had going.
DD is 13 & gets her age in pounds per month, but we cover her phone, basic clothes, £1 for a hot chockie when out, etc So she has to cough up spending money if on a trip. It's not tied to chores, she can earn extra money if she does chores (about £3/hour).

gamerchick · 07/03/2015 20:14

I'm really sorry about your mother

yellowdaisies · 07/03/2015 20:16

Is she old enough to be buying her own clothes? If so she probably needs more than if she expects you to buy them. My DM used to pay for coats, shoes and uniforms but give me an allowance to cover the rest which worked well

Start her off on the low end of whatever you decide she needs, as it's easier to increase than decrease

Fairylea · 07/03/2015 20:17

for you and your sister. So sorry for your loss.

Well my dd is 12 so a little bit younger but basically I pay for her phone (£7.50 a month with giffgaff) and I give her about £4-6 whenever she goes out with friends. I don't give her regular pocket money as such as I can't afford to but when she does go out I try to scrape something together for her!

I buy all her clothes and essentials separately. So any money she has is literally for spending on food and drink when she's out with friends or the 110007th bottle of body spray she wants....!

Goodpresentideaplease · 07/03/2015 20:34

My yr9 DS gets £20 per month plus £10 towards his phone contract. He actually chose a £12.50 contract so gets £17.50 from me on the first of each month. This goes into his bank account but he has a cash card so can access it when he wants.

He also does a weekend paper round and earns £8.40 per week on top.

Sorry to hear about your mum, you're in a very difficult situation. Teenagers can be tricky at times anyway and your sister may be more so due to what has happened.

Take care

Love51 · 07/03/2015 21:17

Sorry for your loss.
I would think about it in terms of standard of living. If you are struggling to afford luxuries then don't feel that your teen should be entitled to them! You can always top up what she gets, you will struggle to claw it back!

Original poster

Alb1 · 07/03/2015 21:31

Thanks everyone I was thinking about £5 a week plus potential top ups so that seems reasonable from what iv seen here. She's very into hair and makeup and wants her eyebrows done at a salon and bags and shoes for school that I can't afford so I want to give her the means to save up for things herself and let her realise that money doesn't grow on trees! Iv always spoiled her since I left home (obviously not knowing we'd end up in this situation) and given her treats and presents as my mum couldn't afford to but since having my own baby I really can't afford it just now, so it's just getting the balance right as she obviously assumes I can carry on as we were!

OP posts:

Fairylea · 07/03/2015 21:47

No idea if this might help but my dd is also into bags and shoes and I get a lot of hers from branch309 (if you Google it will come up). It's actually part of Schuh and they sell off all their extra stock super cheap - they also have an ex display section where you can pick up branded trainers etc very cheaply if you don't mind a little bit of imperfection (they have good photos for each pair showing what's wrong and they take returns so there's no harm in trying). I found dd some brilliant vans on there for about £12 and some doc martens recently for about £35. It changes regularly.

You sound like you're doing a great job. I think your plan sounds fine. :)

fieldfare · 07/03/2015 22:01

I'm really sorry about your Mum.

Fwiw, we give our 12yr old £10 a month pocket money into her bank account, pay for her phone (£7.50 a month eith giffgaff), pay for her club (£15 a month), as well as other school trips etc which average out at about another £20 a month too. Oh, and gym membership £15 a month.
She has to do chores to earn her pocket money, emptying dishwasher, doing recycling, keeping her room and the main bathroom tidy and doing homework without hassle. She can earn more by offering to do bigger, one off chores - cleaning the car, washing down the cupboards in the kitchen, bathing and grooming the dog etc. We pay for her clothes and make up, toiletries etc but at some point that will change and she'll have a bigger allowance to budget for what she needs.

I hope you're getting a lot of support from school, family and friends.

mousmous · 07/03/2015 22:10

wrt to the fibbing and saying 'but mum said': you are the adult and make the rules now. whatever works for you as family..
takes a bit of adjustment
sorry about your mum.

Cherrychocolate · 07/03/2015 22:13

We give our 12 yr old £5 per week. We also give the same to our 17 yr old, although he works sometimes too. We try to give top ups if needed.

So sorry about your mum.

BackforGood · 08/03/2015 00:17

Really sorry for your loss - it must be very difficult for you both.

Purely for this question (and do come back as often as you like - there are many wise MNers on this board ) we give our teens £1 per month for each yr of age - so my 13 yr old gets £13per month and my 16 yr old gets £16 per month. We pay 'subs' or 'fees' for things they are involved in, but they pay if they want to go out or for sweets etc.

They are all expected to contribute to stuff around the house but pocket money isn't linked to that in our house.

SecretSquirrels · 08/03/2015 09:29

Very sorry for your loss.
At 13 mine got £15 a month and I bought all their clothes. I have never tied it in with chores. They do help around the house but don't have fixed jobs. I only pay extra for one off big jobs such as painting a fence or clearing out the garage.
Having said that you have a baby and probably need more help than a parent of teenagers.

norightanswer · 08/03/2015 15:30

So sorry about your Mum.
I give both of mine £20 per month straight into a bank account, then they can take money out when they are in town, as and when they need it.
They have to pay for anything that I don't see as a necessity (eg hot chocolate in Costa, cinema trips etc).
I pay for their phones, clubs, school trips, basic clothes and toiletries. If they want clothes that they don't need (which is most of the time), then they have to save up or use birthday and xmas money.
They don't have any specific jobs.
It sounds like you are doing really well in caring for your sister, she's lucky to have you there for her.

HSMMaCM · 08/03/2015 16:39

DD age 15 gets £7 / wk pocket money plus her phone contract. She is looking for a job at the moment. She has chores like dishwasher and washing machine, which have to be done immediately on her return from school (so she can get on with homework, facebook or whatever for the rest of the evening). If she's really lucky, one of the machines will be running and then she is exempt from that job.

Original poster

Alb1 · 08/03/2015 20:46

Thanks so much everyone, very helpful got bankrupted by shopping for all her school stuff today, people say babies cost a fortune, it's peanuts compared to teens! First day at her new school is tomorrow anyway (we live quite far from our mums house now) so I'm sure il be back soon with more silly questions about curfews, friends etc!

OP posts:

BackforGood · 08/03/2015 21:06

They aren't "silly" questions. We all struggle with these dilemmas, and most of us have had13 yrs preparation to get there, and aren't grieving ourselves at the time.
be kind to yourself.

celestialsquirrels · 08/03/2015 21:46

Ds14 £40pm - covers entertainment, presents for all of us Xmas and birthdays, mobile phone but not clothes.

Dd 17 £80 pm. Covers everything including clothes toiletries etc. she is at boarding school so also covers eg snacks, fruit, stationery - everything really.

celestialsquirrels · 08/03/2015 21:48

I've just read your posts properly - I'm so sorry about your mum. Your sister is very lucky to have you - you sound fab. X

StarOnTheTree · 08/03/2015 21:57

My 14 year old gets £100 per month to cover clothes, mobile, dinner money and socialising. No top ups. It helps me to budget.

Not linked to chores. I expect them to be done anyway.

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