DD14 has lst interest in everything

[MissMiaow]

My 14 year old daughter has progressively lost interest in everything except spending hours on her computer/asleep in her darkened bedroom. She used to take part in lots of activities and one by one she has given them up. She appears to be doing well at school although we never see evidence of homework!
Every time I suggest an activity she declines and says it is boring. I took her out shopping at the weekend and she just stood in the shop displaying no interest whatsoever in anything around her.
I have tried to talk to her but she denies anything is wrong, and says I don't understand teenagers ( I am beginning think she has a point!)
She has few (one) friend from school who she spends time with infrequently. She says that she has nothing in common with the girls at school and feels isolated. However, she said pretty much the same about the kids in her class at primary school. She also says she hates her younger sister.
We have no idea what to do, but feel worried about her disconnect.. any advice gratefully received

That's a really hard situation for you, we know being a teenager is hard work, lots of pressure and feeling just like you don't belong. I remember being a teenager, lucky for me my dd is only 7.

However I have recently spent a lot of time with my 14 year old niece as my db and dsil are struggling in the same way you are. They have tried counselling and just giving her space. I as her aunt have spoken to her and identified a few issues not big issues, but, when you are a teenager everything is a big deal.

You sound like you are doing all you can do you think she is depressed??

There was a new book published recently about teenagers that might be worth a look I will see if I can google it or search Amazon. Teenagers are tricky but generally seem to come through it.

Good luck not sure if that's any help.

The book is called teenagers translated how to raise happy teens by Janie downshire. It's on Amazon and has really good reviews. Might help a bit.

I think you are right to keep an eye on her as this is the age as my DD was suffering from severe depression which we thought was teen grumpiness. Also doing well at school.Im not saying its the case with your DD as its such a hormonal time, but maybe alert the school to her behaviour at home and check if she is isolated or isolating herself there at all. My DD turned out to have undiagnosed ASD traits which contributed to finding the world a bit stressful, but didnt display common signs so we all missed them. Lilybensmum is right, there are some good teen books and sites like youngminds are helpful for parents to keep any eye out for signs of depression......I sometimes think I didnt ask the right questions, as we focused on physical health. good luck...

I spent many years with a few friends, worried parents and a didn't care. It came as a complete surprise 40 years later to discover that anyone else noticed. My version was my parents were happy I had enough friends and I knee exactly where my life was going. Those few friends still are , my life is good and I still don't care what anyone else thinks. Over the years I've found a few more friends but not that may, let your kids live.