Is it acceptable to leave 16 year old at home alone overnight?

[curlyhair500]

One of my DD's best friend, just turned 16, is quite often left at home on her own overnight whilst her mum stays at her boyfriends house. This is not something I would be happy about doing myself but is it really as bad as I think it is or do I just need to chill out. The girl is quite happy with this and seems quite sensible and has not been in any trouble as far as I know.I stopped my dd15 from sleeping over when the mother is not there (which I only found out about by chance) as I worry about everything - too much for my own good, in fact. I am tempted to accuse the mother of being irresponsible and selfish but is that too harsh?

What does everyone think?

Ragwort that's maybe because you weren't left very often so it was a novelty! I'd have got bored having a party 4 nights a week

Yep, fine

I left DD alone in the house when I went away after my mother died suddenly. She needed to be at home for school. I was fine with it, until she held a riotous party and upset the neighbours with whom until then I had had a good relationship.

I also think it is OK occasionally but I asked DD about this (she is now 20) and she said she would have felt 'rather rejected' if I had gone off to stay with a guy. She said she would have felt rather hurt that I might have preferred to be with someone other than her.

If a 16 year old moves out and has his/her own place that is one thing. To live with a parent who goes off and stays with the current squeeze is quite another (IMHO)

I wouldnt do it myself unless there was a real good reason for it and just staying over at the boyfriends house is not a good enough reason in my opinion. Dont want to get into an argument with the woman about it as its her business but my DD is not staying there at the moment unless the mother is there. Last time she stayed I insisted on speaking with her to make sure that she would be there overnight. We have different views on parenting is all I can say.

I know this is an old thread but I am wondering the same thing about leaving my 16 year old son for a night. He has stayed over friends' houses and I know what they get up to which is a problem for me and I do not want similar things to happen. He is quite open with me though and has told me that he will not have any friends over but I just don't know. He is usually true to his word but I really don't know. I am really not comfortable with this and I am sure and I think his friends will come over or I think that he will go out until a ridiculous time or that he will go out and leave the windows open (which he has done in the past).

16 yrs old is fine for the occasional overnight alone. My daughter would love it if we left her for the night, thankfully she's very trustworthy

I moved out at 16 and had my own house with my boyfriend. 😳

It depends on the 16 year old. Some are mature enough and some aren’t.

When we were teens a friend of mines mum used to leave her Friday and Saturday night every weekend to go and stay with her boyfriend. This was from about 14. Nothing major ever happened, but we did get up to an awful lot of no good. So I guess it depends on how comfortable you are with him getting you to mischief while you are away.

I'd say it's fine and it isn't.

As a general concept, leaving a 16yo alone overnight should be absolutely unproblematic. They are moving towards adulthood and should be able to cope with short periods of independence. My parents let me stay alone in a hotel in a foreign country for 4 nights and it was totally fine.

On the other hand, they do need a lot of attention and support in other ways- though some 16yos manage life on their own, I think many of them need a parent to have their eye on the ball most of the time, to be hanging around ready for when they want to talk, to be a presence. And above all, before they finally take wings, they need that feeling that they're important to their parent and that their home is still there as a reassuring refuge when they step out into the world.

If the mother is clocking out on a regular basis and prioritising her boyfriend, that is definitely not good.

I will be leaving ds weekly one night once he turns 16 in march but only because of work and only 1 night 3 weeks a month or so. So regularly but not all at once.