17 and struggling

[TaintedRoseBlessing]

(Have posted on the mental health section but have had no responses and am in need of a little hand holding so please delete if this post shouldn't be here)

Not sure what I'm hoping to get from this, just need a little encouragement to keep going

Bit of back story- Im 17 and the last couple of years or so have been really difficult for me due to different family problems, my own self-worth and esteem issues and a little substance misuse. Diagnosed with depression and anxiety and am on meds for it.

The last 4 days have been okay compared to how I normally feel- I've been very productive as have worked 8 hour shifts each day, gotten a good amount of sleep and any negative thoughts/actions towards myself have been minimal.

Yet for some reason, tonight I could happily sleep without waking. I feel lazy, sad, tired and the thought of having to speak or see anybody is making me want to cry. During work today I started to get upset for no significant reason, and I'm laying in bed now feeling like the world could end and I wouldn't mind all that much.

I wish I could understand why these mood swings are becoming more and more apparent these days, and find the words to explain it more, without sounding like I'm mad. Nothing has been different today compared to yesterday, or the day before that.. so why do I feel so low and hopeless now? l feel so incredibly alone.

Just looking for a bit of reassurance that tomorrow might, just possibly, be a better day..

Hi sorry to hear how you're feeling tonight. Sounds like you've had a tough few years but you say that you've had some good days now. You're allowed to give yourself a break - rubbish days happen, just ride it out and then a good day will come. I love positive quotes - favourite one at the moment is "everyone wants happiness. No-one wants pain. But you can't have a rainbow without a little rain". Wishing you a sunny day tomorrow :-)

big hugs to you my love. you're only a year older than my daughter. do you have any family you could talk to right now?

how about calling childline right now or the Samaritans?

you have been ok you said but today not so. you will feel better tomorrow, positive thinking.

come here whenever you want for a chat

Keep going, TaintedRoseBlessing. My dd is nearly 17 and been through some very tough times, some problems similar to yours, others different. I can see her slowly but surely improving - and I know that you can do it too. You will get through it.

How long have you been on meds? If you are struggling with mood swings is it worth making an appointment with your doctor/psychiatrist to see if your meds need adjusting?

Somehow things often feel better in the morning, so do your best to get some sleep.

Take care x

Thank-you all for being so lovely, I really needed that last night

Clara I was put on Citalopram at the beginning of October last year, but took myself off it just before Xmas because of a slight downward spiral, didn't want to get better ect. Went back to Dr's eventually and was put on 50mg of Sertraline, but it's only been about 2.5 weeks so far.

Woke up feeling rubbish and ill, and have a phone appointment with a Wellbeing service at 11 which I'm terrified about (I don't know why, I just am..)

Hello.

I hope your phone appointment is useful TaintedRoseBlessing.

Perhaps you already do... but if not, you should take a supplement for women of child-bearing age - one that includes magnesium, essential fatty acids, b-vitamins and chromium.

Sorry its so tough, my DD also has had a tough few years and has learnt that her low moods are not particularly affected by how life is going, they just hit her out of the blue. Sometimes it lasts longer than others she writes in her diaries , listens to music, walks in the woods,and does what she can to relax herself as it passes.

It sounds like change in meds might well be affecting your change in mood and also increased anxiety as different meds can affect you in different ways. My DD didnt like how sertraline made her feel, so its important you report exactly how you are feeling to the doctor. If you are 17 I hope you have a Camhs team supporting you and have friends or family you can talk to. There are plenty of mums on here if you need to come back. I hope you got to your appointment. I know it can take a huge amount of effort when you are feeling so low so you've been brave and done the right thing reaching out for help.

anthropology I don't have Camhs involved but have a lot of support outside of home so am not too worried. Substance misuse worker is the loveliest person I've ever met and has been incredible, plus I have student support within sixth form.

I couldn't answer the phone when they rang earlier and now I feel so disappointed in myself.