Do you drive your teenager about?

[MsPunky]

Dd (16) just seems to expect me to be her personal taxi!!!

Depends where's she's going and what time.

DD is 13, and has 1 friend, who although not far away, about 30 minute walk, 20 minutes to get to the bus stop, but it's an awkward walk. If it was a straight road would probably be about 10 minutes. I won't let her walk home from there when it's dark.

Or if she's been to the cinema or something I'll pick her up, don't usually take her there though, she meets up with friends, but they're spread all over, and none of them come her way. It's seems to pretty usual among her friends for parents to drop off/pick up, they're all around 13/14/15.

I would rather be a taxi and have them safe, but I don't usually offer taxi services when the buses are there, unless it's night time or quicker for me to pick her up.

Yes we do. Dh does late night party pickups because I find it hard to stay awake that long, but I'll do early drop offs, pick ups after sleepovers etc.

It depended on what, why and when mostly.
In daylight hours, they'd get most places under their own steam, when it got late, they'd walk home with friends and if it was very late I'd offer to pick them up.
They were very good at walking 4 or 5 miles, and using trains but I did give lifts to tricky places that they needed to get to, and I still do. It's never been an expectation, and they've always appreciated the fact I didn't mind. If I did say no, there was no whining and fuss.

I do have friends that chose to live in the arse-end of nowhere as it was so lovely for the children. Who became grumpy, trapped teens who wanted to escape and were too far from public transport and not allowed to ride busy roads on their bikes.
So they wanted taxiing.

Yes all the time. We live in a tiny village with very limited public transport. None of their friends live in the same village but are spread around other rural villages.
Idyllic for small children but potentially isolating for teenagers, the parental taxi is part of the price of where we live.
DH does late night party pick ups and I do most day time running around. DS2 sometimes gets casual work and could not get there without a lift.
As soon as DS1 was 17 I paid for driving lessons and he was then allowed to borrow my car (though most DC round here seem to be given a car at 17).

I have to say that the worry of them driving home is worse than being a taxi.

Yes, I drive them when taking an actual tax would be a reasonable decision if it weren't for the cost. So, meeting friends at the cinema 40 min walk away in reasonable weather and daylight, he can walk. Leaving in the dark, I'll go and get him. 4 miles on quiet roads/along cycle paths he can take his bike, 4 miles to the next town, along busy roads, I'll drive.

Sometimes he'll take the bus, but outside of London they're so expensive I usually choose to drive him.

See dd expects me to do it at a moments notice. I don't mind organised occasions.

Like most - it depends where / when / why.
Also depends on which teen - my 13 yr old can expect more support of that kind than my 18 yr old who is only here in the holidays, anyway.

Will also depend on what transport you have where you live.

My 16 yr old was meeting friends in City Centre yesterday, so hopped on train herself, but we have a station at the end of our road - not so easy for my nieces who live outside of where public transport goes.
My 13 yr old is meeting a friend to go swimming this afternoon and other girls' parents are taking them and I'm fetching them - it's not really a convenient bus route, but in't far in a car.

My 18 yr old is most likely to ask 'spontaneously' but that's just the way he is in life - planning and organisation aren't his strengths. I don't mind if I'm not busy. If I am busy then I just say I can't.

We're in London and don't have a car. The dc have been used to taking the bus and tube since they started secondary school. It is one of the major reasons we decided on city centre living, we're just too lazy to be a taxi service! Although they do have friends whose parents drive them around quite a lot despite there being adequate bus routes. I think that families who have chosen to live in a rural/suburban area with poor public transport generally do expect to ferry their dc about more and I think that's fair enough.

I said earlier, that yes, I do as necessary/reasonable. DS knows to ask rather than demand and always shows appropriate gratitude though. If that changed, his transport arrangements would change!

could you set a rule, like half hour or 2 hour notice or whatever for giving lifts?

Do you ever tell her NO when she asks?

My 16 year old DD gets lots of lifts, although makes her own way to places during daylight hours and is always appreciative.

I would just say "no" next time your DD asks, and show her where the bus stop is.

Yes I do, but they have to give me a bit of notice.

Ds is 13, I drive him most places. My mam and dad drove me nearly everywhere when I was a teenager and I'm 47, so it's not a new phenomenon. I had a busy teenage life and had to be lots of different places quickly.

No, not as a matter of course. But I wouldn't live anywhere without reasonable public transport because I always knew I didn't want to be a taxi service, lol! Mine cycle or bus. Means when I do offer a lift they are very grateful

Sometimes mine got lifts, but mostly they used the bus or walked.

We live on a very frequent bus route though.

Yes, I am a taxi a lot, but we chose to live in a rural location with not much public transport. I think being a taxi is a good exchange
i would go anyway to rugby matches, and they are always polite and say thank you for the lift. i do expect warning, otherwise they tend to find i am out on the horse just when they have arrived back at the nearest railway station (no where to wait, way too far to walk!)

We live in London so they get free bus travel and cheap tube/train.
So we do not ferry much, although I would rather pick them up at night if they are on their own. Spontaneously if necessary and I have not been drinking
Sometimes I pick up from school if DD has stayed late - only 15mins in the car, but 45 on the bus.
DH quite often picks DS up from footy training in the winter as it is 2 trains away.

constantly. Was looking forward to their driving themselves about until I read SecretSquirrels' comment

Yes we do but to be fair neither of them go out that often and we live in a wee village with a crappy bus service. If we lived in the neighbouring town with the rail and bus station, they could whistle!

We take ours (20 & 18) into town when they go on a night out because a taxi is £25 before midnight and £40 after.

We live in the arse end of nowhere so we did when they were younger and couldn't drive. We didn't do it at a minute's notice, though. They can both drive now and have their own cars, so they don't need lifts.

I will do, yes. I remember my Dad saying to me "this is a family car and you don't come on many family outings these days so when I can I will give you lifts". It touched me and I still remember it today. My Mum never did and I stopped asking.

Sometimes but they rarely expect it. They know they can ask and they know I can say no.

So today DD2 (14) got the train into town, station is 10 minutes walk. She didn't ask and I would have said no and she knows this

DD1 (18) arrived back at the same station an hour ago after travelling back from London. She phoned en route and asked me to pick her up. I did because it was late and dark and she knows this

They also pay for any bus/train/taxi fares out of their allowance so at least it's not costing me anything if I say no to lifts because that would sway things for me.

I do drive them round, but they don't expect it and will take the bus or train if I can't do it.

I always felt I couldn't ask my parents to drive me anywhere, and I'd hate for my DC to feel they couldn't ask me.