Controlling father

[Worriedworried1969]

My parents live abroad and my Mum has been diagnosed with brain cancer (having a crainiotomy this week).

My Father is very controlling and keeps trying to put me off visiting. I just want to see my Mum before her op - anything could happen and I just want to spend a little time with her. My father says he has got enough to do without me visiting.

I will stay in a hotel nearby and hire a car - I only want to pop in, not stay.

Am I being unfair?

Go!
Your Dad will get over your disobedience, if something bad happens you will be bitter towards him.

Go and visit. You shouldn’t need your father’s permission to visit your own mother. Sometimes all you can do with controlling people is to be very very firm with them - you are not asking him if you can visit, you are simply telling him that you are coming to see her.

Go, you have every right to see your Mum and tell her how much you love her.

Don't let him stop you from visiting your mother. As Klein says, you don't need permission.

Go. He is probably really stressed, and if you organise yourself in such a way that it will not any extra burden on him, then he can't complain. She's your mum. Keinzeit is right.