Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

What rights does a 16 year old have?

15 replies

GilmoursPillow · 03/02/2015 12:31

I'll try and give as much info as I can without waffling too much...

We live overseas and until a year ago 15 year old DD was with us. Last year she returned to the UK to go to boarding school. She wasn't happy here, the school was crap and she's always said she wanted to go back to the UK.

Now she's having problems at school, nearly all of which are her own making.

As a family we are moving to my DH's home country soon and intended for all of us to go, which DD was in favour of. She's changed her mind a few times and is now saying she doesn't want to move with us.

She's applied to a couple of 6th form colleges and has been accepted on principle. She says she'll split her time between my parents. Her reports and exams so far are awful and she's looking to be lucky to walk away with a couple of Cs or Ds from her GCSEs. She doesn't seem to realise that getting into college isn't unconditional and if she doesn't get a minimum number of exam passes she won't be able to go.
I've told her that if she doesn't get in to college she has to come with us instead which she's not happy about.

She told me yesterday that she's in trouble at school and has a meeting wth head of year and the headmistress. She says she's been told she could be suspended or expelled. From what she told me happened that would be a huge over-reaction from the school but I'm not counting on her having told me the full story.
If she does get expelled she's out of choices, she has to move with us.

My Dad has pointed out that she'll be 16 next month so I'm wondering if she is legally old enough to refuse to move with us.

OP posts:
Original poster
GilmoursPillow · 03/02/2015 12:33

My Dad has pointed out that she'll be 16 next month so I'm wondering if she is legally old enough to refuse to move with us.

That makes it sound like I'd forgotten she's turning 16 next month and my Dad had to remind me. That's not what I meant - he was the one who brought up the point that she may be able to refuse to move.

OP posts:
NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 03/02/2015 17:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bobs123 · 03/02/2015 17:19

Yes I believe at 16 she can legally live where she wants. Perhaps you could put the ball in her court and instead of telling her what she will have to do, ask her what she thinks her options for the future might be

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 03/02/2015 17:21

Education is compulsory now until 18 unless you get an apprenticeship. Even if she flunks all her GCSE's there are courses you can do at college to retake them.

DD is retaking English aswell as her chosen course.

Not sure with regards to how it works if expelled though

LIZS · 03/02/2015 17:23

In uk she needs to be in education or training or work until 18. Without decent qualifications she won't get a place especially if she is assuming a fee paying school/college. Nor is she likely to qualify for benefits especially if she hadn't lived in uk for long.

School should have been in touch , if not I think you need to call her head of year or house ASAP and find out what is really going on. Who are her guardians, she may be sent there while options are considered but being expelled in gcse year is not good for anyone.

bobs123 · 03/02/2015 17:28

www.childline.org.uk/Explore/CrimeLaw/Pages/Rights.aspx

Legal rights for children

Original poster
GilmoursPillow · 04/02/2015 02:34

The school didn't phone me.

The story I got from DD (which I'm not taking as gospel) is that she wrote a snapchat about one of the teachers losing an important part of DD's work. Another student saw it and reported it to the school.
I'm not really sure what the issue is - DD said cyber-bullying and lying (her and the teacher have differing views as to what happened to the work). Seems a bit extreme for that, but I'm not convinced I've been told the full story by DD.

I've since heard from her that she's not been expelled or suspended but if she gets in any kind of trouble she will be.

I think she thinks she'll just live with one of my parents and we'll send money over to support her. That's not going to happen.

Thank you for all your answers, I'll re-read them and look at he link too.

OP posts:
Canyouforgiveher · 04/02/2015 03:21

OP your daughter is still quite young and she clearly has some issues. I have teens myself and I know how difficult - way more difficult than your daughter's issues - it can be. I also know how much support and parental involvement and love they still need even at ages 15-18.

I think you need to contact the school and start talking to them about what is going on with her and get the other side of the story and the put a plan in place for her. She is to young to chart her own course.

Original poster
GilmoursPillow · 04/02/2015 10:01

Yes, she really does have issues (this is just the tip of the iceberg) and it's difficult to help from so far away. That's another of the reasons I want her with us - we can get her the help she needs.

She has told me that the school are going to send me a "very formal letter".

OP posts:
WhatAHooHa · 04/02/2015 10:06

As pp have said, I think you need to stop waiting to hear from the school and actually contact them yourself. A lot can be said verbally that can't be put in writing, they will have a clear view of what her academic targets are, her chances of meeting them, her options at the moment and for next year, what they think the cause of her misbehaviour is, how you/they can help and so on. It will also help keep them on side, if they know that her parents are supportive of any sanctions they impose and that you are backing up the messages they are giving her.

LIZS · 04/02/2015 10:32

Agree you need to be more proactive. Is she likely to miss the criteria to stay on , if so what do the school suggest. Can they help to reinforce that remaining in UK is going to be difficult and she might be better off back with you. Is she particularly resistant to living in the new country or is she simply wanting to be independent ?

LIZS · 04/02/2015 10:33

Agree you need to be more proactive. Is she likely to miss the criteria to stay on , if so what do the school suggest. Can they help to reinforce that remaining in UK is going to be difficult and she might be better off back with you. Is she particularly resistant to living in the new country or is she simply wanting to be independent ?

Original poster
GilmoursPillow · 04/02/2015 11:07

Staying on to do 6th form in the school she's in isn't an option. If she got in she would leave boarding school and move in with one of my parents while she attends 6th form college.
I really would be surprised if she gets the results she needs.

Education-wise, moving with us would be good for her. All round, it would be a good place for her to live.

I don't know if she just doesn't want to leave the UK, or doesn't want to leave because we want her to, iyswim.

OP posts:
DrownedReindeer · 04/02/2015 11:09

My parents are trying to tell her that to come with us would be best for her, maybe I do need the school to reinforce that too.

DrownedReindeer · 04/02/2015 11:16

Name change fail

New posts on this thread. Refresh page