what to do with a 17 year old who doesn't care?

[operaha]

She won't do the required work for A levels, she chooses friends over work every time.
She intends to quit in her second year the day she turns 18.
We've talked about how when she does work she achieves really high and 3 bs is not out of the question but she's not interested, 3es would mean a much fuller social life.
Her tutors have spoken to her, she nods and smiles in the right places.
I've told her I'll always be there for her etc, but in my more down days i wonder what the hell she's going to do with her life. She has no idea what she wants other than to leave college.
She's nearly an adult, I guess I just leave her to it - it's really hard to watch though.
I'm trying to be supportive but I just get mood swings from her - took about 20 mins tonight.
I need a new way of approaching things cos I'm doing it all wrong so far.
Any words of wisdom??

It's not just about having the intelegence to do A levels you have to enjoy studying too. Just about every teen will tell you they hate learning But this isn't true. Lots actually don't mind it. Some however hate it. You can have a great social life and learn . What about stopping a levels and looking at a BTEC. There are no exams. They relate to real life more and she can go to uni with one. It might be worth seeing if she wants to change. Otherwise she needs a job. Try to encourage her to get a part time job first. If she leaves college her friends will still be there and she will be missing out being with them.

Yeah I think she genuinely hates it.
She has a good weekend job, which she likes but never stops complaining it interferes with her social life.
I don't see how she can stop a levels at this stage of year 12 so we've agreed she'll finish this year - but she will fail all her exams at this rate. If I so much as mention revision I get screamed at, but then she gets upset at her results.

It sounds like you have tried every possible approach and nothing has changed, except increasing tension between you, so I agree that you have to leave her to it.

I would explain this to her - that you've tried everything but you can see that it's just damaging your relationship with her, so you're leaving her to it.

Then outline your minimum requirements - full time study or full time work, with a contribution to household expenses if she chooses to work. Let her think through the consequences of those decisions herself. If studying is right for her she'll come back to it.

Then outline your minimum requirements - full time study or full time work, with a contribution to household expenses if she chooses to work.

This! WHen she realises that she will be expected to work every day and pay you a lump sum in board and lodging, plus be expected to do her own laundry, cook a meal for the family twice a week, contribute to family life by eg babysitting or doing the bathrooms.....lets see how THAT impacts her social life.

I think you have to set out your expectations right now, before she turns 18. SHe may change her mind about the cushty studying side.

Id also ask her to prepare a budget based on how she intends to live - does she want to get a flat or a room in a shared house? How much will that cost her with all utilities etc thrown in? How much will she need to spend on food? DOes she intend to have a car? How much would she anticipate spending on her social life? WHat about clothing?

Make her do the math, to work out how much she needs to earn in order to have the life she wants to have. ANd then have her scour the jobs pages to find a job that would provide that level of income after tax.

Ask her how she intends to fund her great social life, make it very clear you will not help her out financially.
Tell her if she leaves education she will need to get a full time job and pay rent.