Teenage drinking

[Ironingfairy3]

Today I have found an nearly empty bottle of vodka in my DS's drawer. I showed his dad and we are going to talk to him about it. He has drunk the odd bottle of beer or cider with our permission and I have always said I would much rather know if he is drinking what it is and only when we give permission. Have emphasised many times in the past how I hate to hear of teens drinking vodka and he's always agreed with me. He is a really good lad, clever, sporty and mature! He works washing up in a restaurant and we are very proud of him. I am so upset by what I found as I our trust has been breached. Really not sure what to do going forward! He is currently at football practice, which his dad runs, and he doesn't know we know yet. Help, don't know what to do!

How old is he?

Good luck! Talk to him. But don't get sucked in. My dd is all kinds of lovely but not sure I trust her.

How old is he?

I'm assuming he is 16 or older.
This may sound hard but it's the truth.
Parents who think their teen never lies to them, follows all their rules or tells them everything are dissolutional.
A teens brain is trying to make them independant. It does this by making them feel anger , embarrassment and sometimes hatred towards their parents. It also makes them push boundaries etc. all teens go through it to different degrees.
Do not feel hurt he has gone against your rules. He is meant to. That sounds mad. But worry if he doesn't. He is learning to be independant.
Think back to your teens. Did your parents ever have a chat with you and you were thinking - yeh yeh whatever ! I'm sure you did.
Teens drink at parties. He is doing well.
If you go down hard or say you're disappointed etc what will be the result. He hides it better. I keep quiet. I monitor the stash. I then would only go in when I feel it's a problem. My son has a couple of bottles of spirits and some tabaco in a draw. He doesn't know I know it's there. I know how much is there. I check each week. It only goes down when he goes to the odd party so I'm not worried. Be sneeky and pick your battles.

Absolutely agree with Hey ho. My son was at parties where alcohol was smuggled in, he was 14/15. Tempted as I was to go ballistic, I just dealt with it. Explained dangers, try avoid spirits (esp vodka, dangers of fakes etc) said if he was to have a drink have a lager more difficult to fake & takes longer to drink. He is now 17, still doesn't drink vodka (tells me he's not keen on antifreeze!) Parties most weekends but is maturing in a way 2 years ago I never thought I'd see. Interestingly, my other son, sporty etc was constantly under pressure from team mates to drink more (getting in the school First XI rugby) , to the point that one night when all rugby team going out for "initiation ceremony" i told him to drink what he could cos he didn't want to lose face, then go to toilet & make himself sick. I was disgusted with myself for saying that, but he did it came home fine & he never went drinking with them again. Alcohol happens, wait till they go to Uni, I still worry about them & their livers. Unfortunately it is all part of the culture now I think. Be thankful that is the only problem , as major as it seems, I have been through worse. Xxx

Excellent advice IMO.

They drink shots at parties - shot glasses are on sale in supermarkets. Vodka seems to be a very popular drink with teenagers.

Younger teens borrow ID from friends/older siblings to buy alcohol with IME.

His safety is the main thing - he needs to know that you'll help him if need be. Better for him to incur your disapproval than get himself into a dangerous situation for fear of you being angry.

The drinking culture is awful IMO - why can't they fave fun without having alcohol? But they do. if you don't appear shocked/judgmental your DS is less likely to drink excessively as a means of rebellion against you and practice safely before he leaves home and has no constraints.

Assuming your DS is at least 16.