Ok so this may be long so please bare with me..
DS1 is 16 years old. He works full time (I did anther thread on keep) and lives at home with me mum, dad and baby brother (soon another baby is going to be arriving).
DS1 has a female friend that he knows from school. Now here's where my 'issue' is. DS1 is close to the mother of this girl, he has her as Mumsy 2 on his phone which I will admit, hurts.
DS1 and I have always had a close relationship as I bought him up alone for 7 years. We chat and I am only 36 and feel like a young mum still. He knows he can chat with me about anything at anytime. Yes things are harder now that he has a brother and my time is taken up more by his brother but I always make time to ask how his day went, whats the latest gossip etc.
DS1 is spending more and more time at this mothers flat and even told me he was leaving home to move in with her and her 3 girls and boyfriend (into a 2 bed flat owned by the council) which I put a stop to as I said I would phone the police if he did. He had no reason to leave except that I have rules and boundries, this mother doesn't. She was going to charge him for living at her flat. I did speak with her and told her as an adult she should be discouraging a minor not to leave home, not encourage.
Now DS1 had an Acute Absence Seizure causing acute confusion on Monday and was hospitalised as a result. We had no idea he had this condition until he turned up at school on monday (he left last year) and was found wondering the grounds. He thought it was 1998 and he had forgotten who his family was. Amongst other things. He has had an array of tests-MRI,CT Scan, Lumber Puncture and EEG done over the last 3 days. He is at home in bed recovering with a very bad headache from the lumber puncture.
My OH saw this mother at the hospital and assumed (rightly or wrongly) that she was there to see DS1 even though we hadn't told anyone except family that he was there. I calmly and polity asked that IF she was there to see DS1 then please do not, as he is in a confused state and until he was well, I rather see stayed away (the same as we told family). She claims she wasnt there to see him.
She replied that I was a paranoid parent, that i was to 'check myself' and to let DS1 be trusted and stop controlling him. Not anywhere in that reply did she ask why DS1 was in hosptial??
I again, calmly asked her to respect my wishes as his parent to stay away and not contact him.
I found out that yesterday DS1 had phoned her to tell her how he was as he was getting lots of confused texts.
So today I yet again said that she should have asked me first before speaking with him as the confusion from monday was still there in places and he needs to rest and get well.
Again my parenting skills were battered.
Then to top it off, My friend who has passed away from a brain haemmerage just after Xmas, her son and my son were best friends when growing up and I had him texting me with lots of questions about DS1 and worrying himself silly that DS1 was going to die in the same way as his mum!! I had not told him for this very reason yet this mother took it upon herself to tell her daughter who then told DS1 friend whos mum had passed.
I am livid that this woman is trying to parent my DS1 and sticking her nose in when I have asked her to step back. DS1 needs to recover, is it too much to ask another mother to respect this??
He is a minor and still my responsibility to parent him the way I see fit.
Am i wrong??